|Reviews for Resurrection|
| tesa131313 chapter 1 . 12/20/2006
Format is brilliant. Love the imagery. And the fact that it's in haiku. I've read the same subject in other poems MANY times before but this stands out.
| The Breakdancing Ninja chapter 1 . 8/22/2006
The Breakdancing Ninja gives this piece a WHOPPING 5 out of 5 for its accomplished state, its variety, its layers, its images and word choice, and its physical layout. Refer to the criticism below for more details.
Dude, this is excellent!
I think the poem should just be called "Ressurection" without its name tag. It's pretty obvious about the seasons, and it'll have a certain charm if people have to figure it out.
The image presented in the first set, which I believe is set in the summer time, is a pretty weird one. I imagine an Evergreen standing straight and tall, but a willow is naturally weeppy, so it's-well, I'm not saying that the image doesn't work, I just think it's strange. The incongruity of the image is what makes it stunning, though.
Willows are perfect for haikus because they have such an ethereal ambiance about them. I especially like that the willow is referred to as female, which gives the image a much more delicate undertone.
"Tall", "proud" and "mighty" are good word choices, especially for a summer plant. Very robust.
"Growing in the bright sunlight" really lights up the image and clues us in as to which of the two sunny seasons it could be.
The scheme is good, too: Adjectival sentence- the "to be" verb reversed gives the haiku a much more epic feel. I suppose that's why they inversed all of Yoda's lines. To give him much more age and wisdom. And then a Participle, and a noun. This is excellent so far.
The second line of the second haiku (The Fall) has a strange combination of lines. "golden brown dead shade". Even if the image makes sense, the words lack that color logic, maybe because they are so different from each other. The first haiku had a strange image, in the second haiku, the word choice is strange.
I like how even from the second haiku, it says: 'But don't worry, even if she's dying, she'll come back.' It gives a nice reassuring feeling.
The third haiku is awesome. I like the delayed gratification of the poem, it's a miniature journey that we follow alongside. "Her death is prolonged" is a great observation. I guess in every cycle, there is some down-time, just as the emotional transition is for humans.
"Snow falls, leaves her forgotten" This is a striking image of the willow tree hidden under mounds of snow. The Breadth and color of this whole piece are amazing in how varied and vivid they are.
"Limb quiver with life" The image itself is pumping vitality. It's a very good line, and it resonates that vintage feeling of old Japanese-style poetry.
"Rebirth has begun" This perfectly illustrates what the spring is like.
I'm Roman Catholic, so they have cycles like this even in the church. Jesus dies in the Winter and comes back in the Spring, which is a little weird that this piece is called "Resurrection".
But going deeper, the Willow tree is symbolic of lovers in mourning or in love, and this can also show the cycle of a relationship in a way.
The piece is reassuring the whole time and never has a completely morbid, dejected, or dark image. The Winter haiku is a little sad, but it's not as disparaging as some work gets.
The formatting of the actual piece was great, too. I like how it isn't exactly linear. It is very pleasing to the eye and gives a person a sense of transition from one season (haiku) to the next.
This was a proficient poem with great word choice, but more important,t he vintage quality it echoes from old Japanese nature poems. I am very happy to call it a favorite (Jesus, and I just added "Full of Words" too).
I felt complete just reading it. rofl
| autumn berrington chapter 1 . 6/28/2006
I like this poem alot! i dont know why but i like how you formated each haiku. very creative!
| priceless gallery chapter 1 . 6/28/2006
SO PRETTY! such a painting! I loved how you tied everything together to paint such a delightful picture.. well done yet again chap!
| theory of black chapter 1 . 6/10/2006
beautiful imagry. I love willow trees.
| Safira chapter 1 . 5/23/2006
A gorgeous string of haikus, and my favourite of all your works yet! Wonderful and touching imagery as always, particularly the last two stanzas. Furthermore, I like the format of this poem to parallel its theme. The four related haikus come together to form the shape of a circle, visually conveying the cycle of resurrections.
Cheers - Autumn.
| Emmytastic gal chapter 1 . 5/18/2006
WONDERFUL ONCE AGIN! keep up the goregeous stuff.
| D. Rochelle chapter 1 . 5/14/2006
Your description is beautiful, breathing some fresh life into the typical haiku about the seasons. I only wish I had your way with powerful and poignant words. Excellent job. The last line really wraps it all together quite nicely, a little bundle of imagery.
I'd tell you to keep writing, but you don't need my encouragement.
| Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 5/14/2006
I like how you stick with the theme of rebirth throughout - like the only reason spring comes is so that autumn can follow. And I liked the four mastered haiku formula, giving credence to all seasons, rather then just one stage of it. Well done, I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work.
| Landon Stray chapter 1 . 5/14/2006
A definitely beautiful story told in haiku form. You caprtured the seasons exactly as they are. Very well done!
| burning in effigy chapter 1 . 5/13/2006
Really liked that you called the willow tree "her" instead of "it" because it creates an interesting feel (like more personal?). Also, I love how it starts out neutral, and then sad, and then "happy"
Also, about your question of the formatting, it's sort of a thing that I do with my friends... and I also like the bold certain things that should stand out, and italicize the things that should be considered... but why are certain things italicized or bolded? Haha... well, that's for me to know ;)
Wonderful job with this poem of yours!