|Reviews for we keep going because we forget how to stop|
| viennacantabile chapter 1 . 11/4/2007
lovelovelove this. the imagery is gorgeous and makes me think in wild and mysterious ways. :D
the only concrit i have is that i don't feel like the ending fits. maybe it could fit better in a different place?
however, excellent opening line. seriously love your imagery. another favorite, and i think you're going to have to go on favorite authors, too. :D
| realityescapesher chapter 1 . 10/30/2006
the opening line is one of the best opening lines to a poem i have ever read. i also love "you tricked me. you held my hand."
| reluctant writer chapter 1 . 9/15/2006
I really, really liked the first half. The part until "you tricked me. you held my hand." It was beautiful, it was honest, and so relatable. The rest was too abstract, too out there for me. But this is pure brilliance "i have loved you every moment you existed to me."
| the.pink.life chapter 1 . 6/22/2006
Of all these stanzas, my least favorite is the 3rd from last. I think there are too many images that don't really fit together there. That said, the 2nd to last stanza is amazing. I love the line "like dark matter tangled in stars." That is simply gorgeous. Keep writing! :)
| Blue SunriZe chapter 1 . 6/16/2006
This was really nice. It's a good thing you did decide to post it. I enjoyed the imagery. I don't have any criticism; I believe the other reviewers had that down pack.
| bright horizon splash chapter 1 . 6/12/2006
the imagery in this is so fantastic all at once that you have to read it more than once. i'm so glad i've found a good inspirational poet! (and it may sound odd, but your profile is almost too similiar to mine to be real.)
keep it up. ~*
| ode to a firefly chapter 1 . 6/12/2006
This is so so so so so beautiful, I don't even know where to begin. I love the entire thing.
| diffident chapter 1 . 5/23/2006
While I read this, I felt intoxicated. I felt like I was pulled into the poem. Absolutely enthralling. This is poetry. This is beauty.
I know that "what do you look like?" feeling. You're just so caught up with being in someone's presence who you are in love with that you don't even have time to capture their face in your memory.
M. I can't get over how amazing this is. I think it had reserved a spot on my Favorite Stories list from the second stanza.
| Jecai chapter 1 . 5/15/2006
A nice treatment of the intangible, the potential, especially 'when you were gray...shadowed on my neck' This is daydreamy; the lack of capitals reminds me how I don't usually think in neat, explicit structures.
A person extends into the universe, the gestalt. I think that way sometimes: attraction completely immersing me in the world and making it ecstatic, elegant.
Will it stay that way when they're more than 'shadowed'? I like to think so, but I've never been in love either.
| Shara G chapter 1 . 5/14/2006
Great imagery on this one. I love how you used the words. "you slide like sunlight through my fingerswhen I try to grasp a child lurching through the dark" are my favourite lines.
| Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 5/14/2006
First of all - HI! Totally missed your gorgeous prose around here.
You have many beautiful and haunting images in this: “when you were gray and dusty on my wall./when you were shadowed on my neck.” I love the representation of this person, never a person ‘fully’ but objects that are scattered throughout this poem; fruit, flowers, emotions rather then the physical condition of the person. I loved the poetic value of that, but on a constructive angle, it did clutter some of what your were saying.
“It doesn’t matter that your chin is rough but your hands are smooth,/that your tongue tastes like lemons,/you smell like sapwood burning in the frost” Haunting, the images are so clear and present (godly almost in their power) but though I’m still loving the imagery I feel almost lost in the picture of it. I see people as things rather then people; things are people, and people are thing. It leaves me asking, wanting.
“I apologize for this poem. it’s my offering to you.” - Though I like the aspect of the offering (limitless emotions for me) I don’t really think the apologizing aspect of this fits well. What you’ve created in the poem above this verse was magical, curious, haunting and devastating (all the things that would make you, ‘you’ in a sense) and apologizing makes it all seem false to me, and while reading it I’m still left with those images and questioning them even more.
I think your writing and scope for vision is flawless but with this one I was left with a bit more wondering then any of your other works of art. Maybe I’m reading too much into it though. When people use words like ‘criticism’ in their summaries I tend to over think things. Still amazing, still fabulous. I’ve really missed your work around here, keep up the good work, and update soon.
| burning in effigy chapter 1 . 5/13/2006
"i wander through your labyrinths./every path i turn you creep behind on persian rugs." love all the imagery in this poem, totally helped with the mood. Hmm... I think the poem could have ended without the last stanza. I don't think the ending fit with the rest of the poem (the ending and beginning to me, are the most important). Other than that, wonderful poem!