|Reviews for Failing FreeWrite Assignments|
| JAGroome chapter 1 . 7/14/2007
It was reall good and so true with the whole when you get a chance to write what you want... you cant think of anything and vice versa. But I think it was good and I liked it D. laters
| Nurgette chapter 1 . 9/18/2006
I know that I am reviewing well after May, but I thought I would write something anyway. This piece is excellently written, with many details put in to make it more personal and real, which really helps to create that anxious atmosphere. I agree with all of the previous help that is offered in the reviews.
I did a 'freewrite' once, except we were given a few topics. Even with some starters, I did quite badly; I had no inspiration at all, and I ended up writing a story about someone receiving a stuffed owl in the post... But anyway, I hope you got the scolarship, if I could, I would go back in time a keep my fingers crossed for you.
| Rock on an Ocean Shore chapter 1 . 6/22/2006
Okay, so I'm a bit late. *sweatdrop* But I can still announce that this piece is great and definitely caught my attention. And really, the fact that you mentioned watermelon bubblegum makes me want to burst out laughing right now. I'd probably happen to be that gum-chewing fanatic behind you while you free-write and potentially fail in class. XD
| The Forgotten Child chapter 1 . 5/20/2006
I like it. It's much better then what I've gathered for the entry/ Which so far has been nothing.
I agree with the constuctive views Dawncat pointed out, but other than that, I think it's kick-ass.
| Drake-Pendragon chapter 1 . 5/16/2006
I don't know how many times this has happened to me. You described it the way it always happens to me, except I look at the paper and see little animals dancing on it. How's that for a distraction?Excellent! I love your style, and don't think I'm just kissing ass. I mean it. It's FABULOUS!
| CURE-Karasu chapter 1 . 5/16/2006
I don't remember giving you the map to my brain...
| Dawncat chapter 1 . 5/15/2006
Hm... An open invite to be constructive and very little comes to mind. Just some commas and tweaks:
The comma in "It's blank like ... single one." I would put after "mind", so that it doesn't separate the word "irony" from the subject of the irony. Saying "you are assigned" instead of an unspecified "they assign" would make the sentence sound more formal. Depends on the tone you want, but it is something to keep in mind.
The repetition of the word "blank" works well as emphasis, otherwise I would have suggested more variety.
The phrase "despite the fact no rules were given to the piece." could be changed to "despite the fact that no rules were given for the piece."
In the sentence "You randomly thank ... under normal circumstances." needs some punctuation. A commas before "because" and the word "and" would work. Also, instead of "nonsense babble" you could write "nonsensical babble".
I think daycare is one word, although that might depend on who you ask.
The last sentence needs to either be separated into two sentences, or given a semicolon at least. The word "because" twice in one sentence is hard to read.
I've found that the best thing for final editing is to take a day or two (depending on time constraints) and /not/ think about the essay. Then come back and read through it carefully with a fresh perspective.
Good luck on the scholarship!
| Haberdasher chapter 1 . 5/15/2006
honeestly it is good, i enjoyed reading it, although it is a little bleak and melodramatic at times. You have set the scene up nicely and you've kept the pace flowing nicely. I'd suggest sitting on it for a bit, reviewing it a few more times just to work out the kinks and then see how you feel. good luck with the scholorship. all the best. - haberdasher