|Reviews for A Scrapbook of Autumn|
| Kristina Suko chapter 2 . 8/31/2006
The whole thing had me going "aw.." for the little bird, and then I read the last verse and it gave me a chill. Very good.
D Maranwe Telrunya
| Kristina Suko chapter 1 . 8/31/2006
It's rather choppy. Aside from that, I like it, especially the last two lines.
And you're right: (I read part of your profile) Fiction Press is sort of dominated by Higschool Females. Oh well. ;)
D Maranwe Telrunya
| K. T. Marie chapter 1 . 8/24/2006
O what a funky poem. while it's not a rhythmic or very musical poem it's very good for teh brain to puzzle over. I *love* the sentiments you are conveying, and your word choice is so amusing! *giggles* "Plausible deniability," indeed. very nice!
| criti-sized chapter 8 . 8/9/2006
Alot of very interesting poems, I must say. They were original in their own way , and nice. I belive my favorite is Up for Adoption.
| b-U-b-TRUE chapter 5 . 7/30/2006
beautiful. I have a suggestion for you however, scrapbook of autumn is not your strongest piece here, i think you maybe should re-evaluate the order of things (if you start with a realy strong piece like the Enchantment one you're readers will continue to read)
| b-U-b-TRUE chapter 4 . 7/30/2006
jeez you're an untamed talent! Truely unlike anything I've ever read. Ahah I read a bit of your profile...high school female dominance eh? Perhaps.
| b-U-b-TRUE chapter 3 . 7/30/2006
gorgeous. "And drive
Like dandelion seeds on the interstate
To where the winds take us". I have felt like the people in this poem many times, this is something a lot of people can relate to. Brilliant metaphors!
| b-U-b-TRUE chapter 2 . 7/30/2006
interesting piece...however the little bit of darkness that feeds off thoughts and ideas sounds like a positive thing, why's it have fangs? Why are you scare that it will uncoil or stand up?
| b-U-b-TRUE chapter 1 . 7/30/2006
very interesting concept. What I like about this piece in particular is the strength of the ending, I find that not enough people leave their reader thinking..however...this is vital...and you pulled it off beautifully!
| Locus chapter 8 . 7/30/2006
The problem with poetry is that there is no way to aptly provide useful feedback, since published poetry isn't something that often needs work. It is a piece of the author, and the way it appears on the page (or screen) makes the reader catious of disturbing the other problem is that i am bad with it. I can put words together in a stanza with rhyme. they might make sense together, they might not. but the art of creating poetry is lost to me. because of that, i feel uncomfortable reviewing works that are obviously beyond what i could create. thats also why you'll never find me in an art museum. I've read them all, and the only in thoughts in my mind are 'wow, i wish i truely understood this.' I think i can relate to 'paycheck', being a slave of hourly wage myself, but i'm not sure if the meaning is deeper.
| pleasecometrue chapter 1 . 7/30/2006
| firemounrain chapter 2 . 6/19/2006
Aww... It's... disturbing. And cute. Eek.
| firemounrain chapter 1 . 6/19/2006
I really really like your choice of words and your elegance in writing-
"I bought a twelve-pack of monthsThe other far I’ve only used September."
| Pheobe Meryll chapter 1 . 6/1/2006
"that way/when time comes looking for its lost parts,/ they can claim/ plausible deniability." That line was so melencholy...i could just see the memories of moments fading in an old mind...This was a lovely, nostalgic peice. not only was it very refreshing to read some poetry that didn't have a ton of improper punctuation at the end of each line, for one thing, but it was something i can truly relate to...i don't scrapbook, but i keep a journal, and it's pretty much the same sentiments. i'm not good at critiquing poetry so i'll leave it at that...& thanks for your review. I really appreciate honest opinions. ((oh, and don't worry, you're not the only guy on fcpress. I've met two or three others ;))
| Aetha Daemon chapter 1 . 5/22/2006
This tells a plausible story, one that you obviously believe in. Moments...it is what I personally base my life on. Yet, your image of the calendar, September at it's head, pasted in the book of life, just seems to make so much sense. Your argument for your way of life is clear, thoughtful, like a window shopper looking for through the glass at several display shelves filled with their life, in a pop-up book or in story form or in play format. 'a future taste of ashes' is an interesting image. I have to wonder whare it may have stemmed from. It is effective in negatively fortifying the 'moment' and glorifying the 'sold in bulk' variety of time memory. I also am intrigued by your format-usually, I am a moment-stream-of-consciousness poet, and your somewhat bulky yet delecate style seems to float in the air like a weightless feather, carrying the substance, thoughts, and images on top. I get the feeling tahat you wrote this in a dog park, on a bench with the newspaper in hand, a pen for the crossword, and you thought of, not the moment, but of your life that month, that year, that forever until your mind turns blank, and wondered why we bother to rush into the moment only to rush back out again. By the way, I would very much like it if your reviewed my poem The Riddlegum. I have read some of your reviews and I believe that you would give me comments worth reading. And Aetha wins the random transition of the day...