Reviews for Castle on the Clouds
Kate Marshall chapter 12 . 4/6/2009
Odd. Really odd. It kind of just... closed. Like just another chapter to just another life story. Interesting, though, and I find myself strangely /loving/ it. The more I think about it, actually, the more I like it.

And again with the Kingdom thing, I'm not positive what you identified it with, but the whole time it comes across like the future, or hopes, dreams, memories, the like. So the ending stanza "The Kingdom now belonged to memory" had a moving-on tone to it that I love to read. Just good job. I'm a little sad it's complete.

Thank you for posting and I very much enjoyed reading this :) Good luck with your writing, sleeping Pisces!
Kate Marshall chapter 10 . 4/6/2009
I'm usually going around reviewing for people to single-space, but this, with such simple wording and clean thoughts... I just don't like the cramped format for it. Maybe just me, but I think the double-spaces work better for this in particular. And I hardly ever say that.
Kate Marshall chapter 9 . 4/6/2009
Her tears fell like rain

Her cries thunder in the skies

The black Kingdom raged

Again, I like that comparison. Your tone talking about her seems very, like she's the one who you're... centered around? Like she and how she's feeling affects your perspective and thoughts.
Kate Marshall chapter 8 . 4/6/2009
I loved the mention of "The sky (and I) wept." It was clever; the sky for me represented that something much bigger than you felt the loss, too. I don't know, kind of heartbreaking on its own.
Kate Marshall chapter 7 . 4/6/2009
Nice contrast of emotions. :)
Kate Marshall chapter 6 . 4/6/2009
Like this one I get this whole mythology feel. Probably not what you were thinking but

Quietly I watched

My lover dance on gray clouds

With tears in her eyes

Which is interesting, because gray clouds rain. And she's /crying/ so it reminds me of like a goddess of the sky, you know, the like. It was just really amazing imagery in that and it had a nice, underlying thoughtful tone to it. :)
Kate Marshall chapter 5 . 4/6/2009
:P Guilty, I read the reviews for this chapter. Wanted to see what other people thought. :)

I like that you didn't write an a/n about inspirations or what you meant or anything. It seems everyone interpreted it differently. And that's half the fun of poetry, anyway. _ Like when I read it, "The Kingdom glowed white Against a dark sky I don't think she noticed", I sort of got the feeling you were hinting at hope or the future or something. So yes, I enjoyed the... universal appeal to this, I guess. xD
Kate Marshall chapter 3 . 4/6/2009
I like that ending. "I answered, and she kissed me". Very simple. It felt clean and I ended up reading it more than once. :)
Chasing Skylines chapter 12 . 12/27/2008
The format is a bit off again; if there is one. The second line has eight syllables instead of seven.

I do like the conclusion. This was a great story/poem series. There was so much emotion, and in the end, the message is what I see as love is great while it lasts.

-Review Marathon, link in profile
Chasing Skylines chapter 11 . 12/27/2008
Wow, this chapter really conveyed the aptitude of loneliness, and the empty sky is a bleak reminder and symbol.

I also liked the continuing theme the sky being a symbol of their relationship because of consistency, emotions, and imagery produced as such.

-Review Marathon, link in profile
Chasing Skylines chapter 10 . 12/27/2008
You reverted back to haiku format; you should've picked a format and stuck with it, it seems inconsistent sort of now.

However, I really like the imagery you described here through words like 'touch feels like icicles' and 'stare just as cold,' it's the 'Ice Queen' stance personified.

-Review Marathon, link in profile
Chasing Skylines chapter 9 . 12/27/2008
I liked this chapter because you expressed a lot of emotion; I could see the raging storm.

I also like how you're telling the plot through a poem (I can't say haiku, as the format is wrong); I liked how you unfolded it steadily, and gave the reader's imagination something to work with.

-Review Marathon, link in profile
Chasing Skylines chapter 8 . 12/27/2008
I really like the sky wept line; it relates to the translucent gray clouds, and that they're raining.

I also like the imagery here; the rain, the once white Castle on the clouds now weeping, as is the character. Dark, gloomy, puts a 'damper' on the story.

-Review Marathon, link in profile
Chasing Skylines chapter 7 . 12/27/2008
I liked this chapter; I like the theme of coming back down to Earth (not literally, though that's one of my predictions, how this is all figuratively done), and how all good things must end.

I also liked... the characters interaction, and also how they contrast each other. I think you did that well.

-Review Marathon, link in profile
Chasing Skylines chapter 6 . 12/27/2008
I like how instead of sharp contrast between light and dark before, you decided to mix it into gray, and she's dancing on those clouds; it gives an insight to her character.

The tears in her eyes line makes me again think there's something more; I'm anticipating what it is.

-Review Marathon, link in profile
97 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »