Reviews for Helena Swan: Book the First
Radio Saturday chapter 6 . 7/20/2006
This is really good. I like this chapter. Please, update soon. Despite what some say, I think this story is really well done. I like the viewpoint - quite different from many others - and I like that the vampire is quite definitely a monster. C'mon, c'mon, update! Sorry, I know some people don't like that. But this is really good. Have a nice day!
Radio Saturday chapter 5 . 5/26/2006
Miss Tear, this is excellent! While I hate to agree with a troll, the idea isn't the most original, but I like your use of a child's viewpoint on the story. However, I was quite surprised that Helena was only just seven. I would have assumed she was about twelve.

Your style was very nice, easy to read but not stupid. You have a few typos and errors ("dinning room" for "dining room" et cetera) but they weren't too terrible. However, I don't think that avoiding contractions makes dialogue more correct for any period before 1930. In fact, contractions have been around for a very long time and you don't need to take them out altogether. This is a widespread problem, though, so please don't think I'm taking it all out on you.

I really enjoyed your story and would love to see more of it. Please, update!

Also, if you have a little time, perhaps you could cast your eye over my story, "Vampire's Wake."
kutelizzy chapter 1 . 5/25/2006
ok i fucking hat when people copy off of Anne Rice. O the vampire came from Europe o aw. No! No! No! Try a new location! Vampires in Jamaica, Antartica, Russia, Mexico, America. That really gets on my nerves. Just try a new location for God's Sake!
The Great Cthulhu Plushie chapter 3 . 5/22/2006
I'm intrigued...please continue. I caught a few spelling and grammar mistakes here and there, but nothing too serious.
Alena D'Etoiles chapter 1 . 5/21/2006
cool... i only had time to read the first chapter, but it was really cool. I'll have to come back and read the rest.