Reviews for Treacherous Beauty
Guest chapter 36 . 1/3/2017
OH MY FUCK DST WAS THE BESTTT ️️️canm wee hav sum short stories bout belus and rakellll n their futuree sum lemonss perhaps
xXSecretLinXx chapter 1 . 12/31/2016
Oooooo interesting
Guest chapter 5 . 12/31/2016
not even 10 chapters in and i think this might be a favouriteee
SomeRandomName chapter 36 . 3/7/2013
Amazing story! The characters were rich, the plot was exciting, and there was just the perfect amount of romance. This story made my heart pound in anticipation just as often as it had me laughing. Again, amazing story and great work!
LiveLoveRead95 chapter 36 . 12/29/2012
this was so good! Okay there were parts where i was a bit confused, but overall it was awesome. I love the slow but sure love forming between Rakel and Belus. Hope there is a continuation! :3
The Undecisive Thinker chapter 36 . 6/24/2012
This story was so good! Great job-will there be a sequel?
VeiledRaven chapter 36 . 1/29/2012
hey Is there a sequel? cos i love this story hehe
Abrasive chapter 36 . 7/1/2010
I thought this story was wonderful. Your writing visibly progressed from the opening chapter to the epilogue, developing from what was slightly above average to being quite eloquent. Excellent descriptive language, and clever, relevant dialogue. Rakel was well characterised, as were the others (Belus, Caphis, Rudolphus, etc.). Furthermore, you managed to develop your characters, something people on this site tend to struggle with.

However, I have a few qualms.

The first refers to your use of footnotes. I am a firm believer that a writer should never underestimate the intelligence of their readers. The inclusion of footnotes did just that. Not only was it jarring and unnecessary to the plot, but, to be perfectly frank, it seemed pretentious, like you were showing off your knowledge.

Aside from that I only have one more issue: Why did David and Viola not become Undead? According to the guidelines you wrote out, they should have. This felt like a plot hole, and annoyed me for much of the story.

The above aside, I really, honestly and fervently, enjoyed the story.
flymyty chapter 6 . 10/13/2009
Its a good read so far and nice for a break from the story im writing now *check it out sometime after the 15* its entertaining to say the only problem I had so far is that im listening to music while reading it so alot of lines I'm having to read over again for them to register but that's not really your fault now is it? keep up the good work D
WaterFiend chapter 36 . 9/14/2009
Loved it.

Continue it.
Giggling Bugs chapter 26 . 7/15/2009
Well since this story is pretty old, i hope you still get this review...

The story is amazing! you made everything so real. Rakel, wow, i mean i couldnt have made her the way you did. every thought and every emotion, felt spot on! Her angst was soo profound and so very real. and the way she revealed everything to Belus was very vague, and i thought it was very well too, if i was in her shoes i wouldnt have been telling him anything in soo much detail myself, even if i trusted him/ loved him! Both Rakel and Belus seem so real to me, yes they both are conflicted, and i havnt met any conflicted people in my life, but this is the way i would have thought they would feel like.

The agonizingly slow pace you have them both developing feelings for each other is a bit slow yes, but man is it ever worth the wait. i love the whole teacher/student thing. and i dont find it disturbing because firstly they are both Undead Vampires, so the dont age and second they both seen to understand each other, which a a very rare thing in relationships. When i read the first few chapters, i always thought the story would be a bit like a cliche, you know with the way Jem bothers her and all, but know i know you have better ideas than that :P... i know im going to be finishing this story in one read!

Keep Writing these Awesome Storiess!

absites chapter 1 . 6/11/2009
I must have read around five prologues/first chapters about vampires here, but could find none that I could continue reading. I do think that the first chapter is really important and I like when it starts slowly and that's what I felt with yours. It eases you into it, and even though I was kind of lost with the undead/alive vampires, I knew (or rather was hoping) that you'd explain it in the story itself and not just in an AN. So, what I mean to say is that I liked the first chapter so much and it made curious enough to continue reading it. Great chapter!
Freddy Teddy chapter 17 . 3/26/2009
That was wonderful. That was...
Freddy Teddy chapter 15 . 3/26/2009
I love the idea of the two of them together. This school isn't in the norm anyways, so it isn't as disturbing, especially since their age difference isn't a facture. They will be living a longer time than usual. Plus, every chapter, I keep thinking, 'are they going to decide to take her away and put her in hidding?' Then he will no longer be a teacher, but her only life line.
Freddy Teddy chapter 13 . 3/24/2009
Aw! How sad! Poor girl!
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