Reviews for Treacherous Beauty
DeLayNee chapter 17 . 5/7/2007
apparently attacked by someone

-Oh Goddess. In a way I'm kind of glad the headmistress didn't tell her it was Narkall that killed them- there probably would have been an even bigger explosion.

Not a monster like Narkall.

-I find it really sad, almost poetic, that she fears becoming what that moster has become.

“NO! How dare you forbid me to those funerals! I deserve to be there— ”

-Will she try to get there anyway...?

Jem’s canines, shrimpy little things,

-I wonder how he'd react to HERS

This chapter ended on such a sad note, but you wrote it beautifully.
Cadaverous Apples chapter 16 . 4/26/2007
Okay, so I have just read all your chapters up to date.

In one night, too, since I couldn't stop.

Your writing is really fantastic. One of the reasons that I stayed interested was because you actually wrote an original vampire story. I mean, most of them are original, sure, but almost all of them follow the same kind of storyline. I like yours a lot.

I think you should elaborate on the relationship between Rakel and Belus, unless you aren't comfortable with that kind of relationship or if the characters aren't ready for it. But I would look forward to further elaboration on their relationship. :]

I'm not sure how much you update, but I'm hoping that it's pretty often. Or at least the next chapter comes soon, considering you left a GINORMOUS cliffie here. It's rather frustrating, because I really want to see the fireworks that Rakel sets off. One question:

In the line, "Dammit. Just say it," who is speaking? Rakel or Gurlend? (it's the third-to-last line).

Otherwise, I really like it. Like a ton. It's one of my favorites. :]

Update soon!

Amberlina Valentio chapter 1 . 4/21/2007
That's really good. I liked the way you wrote it. It's very well written. Hope to read more of your work!
DeLayNee chapter 16 . 4/16/2007
It wasn’t like Angel to not want to be doing something with her friends; she always maintained that mischief and partying was more fun with more people. Was she sick? If she was, why weren’t Viola and David wandering around?

-Wow, this probably wasn't meant to be sad, but to me it is... she's waiting for something that will never come...

And what if she did get completely out of control, what of the students?

-That would actually be kind of bad. On the bright side, Jem would be the first to die! ]

A good chapter, though I'm wishing you luck when us reviewers show up with pitchforks at your house for that cliffie.
DeLayNee chapter 15 . 4/8/2007
YES! You NEED to go on with that pairing! PLEASE!

I just noticed that you described one vampire's eyes as orange, the other as red, and then Rakels, whose are black. Does this have anything to do with age, experience, or something else?

What exactly is this 'dark shawl' of Rakel's?
InsanePhoenix chapter 15 . 4/3/2007
Yeah I reckon the relationship between them is fine/ a good idea, after all it is a romance.
Liquidize chapter 15 . 3/31/2007
I love it! And yes, let them have a student-teacher fling. I like it, all that's "forbidden" is fun. ;P

Great chapter as always, I like that they are long and you describe everything very well. Good job! :D
Susurrent Threnody chapter 15 . 3/29/2007
Hmm... as for the student-teacher thing, let them have it. They can do whatever and all, but then at the end have Belus be killed by Narkall. That will tragically cut the romance short.

"her dark eyes, hallowed by so many painful memories that he had yet to know. . . ." - hallowed means sacred, holy. I think what you were aiming for was hollowed, which is empty, like a shell, having a deep hole, that kind of thing, or dead looking if referring to eyes.

" I will not a killer to roam among my students, picking them off one by—” " - stick an allow in here between not and a.

Overall, a satisfactory chapter.
sunset.rising chapter 14 . 3/17/2007
Your story is really great so far! The characters are great, and the plot is interesting... I hope you update soon! (Please :D)
Jay chapter 14 . 3/12/2007
Hey. I just came across your story, and after reading it through entirely, I'd have to say it's far from crappy. You have a nice way with words. Keep up the good work.
DeLayNee chapter 14 . 3/10/2007
That was REALLY good! I really like that Viola and David died, good plot, but why didn't he kill Angel? How'l Rakel react when she finds out? Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
AubriannaKnight chapter 13 . 1/6/2007
Woo hoo... Some excitement and action.. I love your main character's depth and personality. I was really scared when Rakel ran into Narkall. Whick by the way I find it funny that the ends of their names sound so simular. Anyway that was a close one, and with her dreams I'm sure he must know where she is. I was suprized he didn't make a major move. I'm still trying to figure out how she narrowly excaped that encounter and why.
OceanFrost chapter 13 . 1/1/2007
Please update soon this soon it is really good!
DannyDangerous chapter 12 . 12/10/2006
good chapter. I missed it..i thought you had given up on it till one day..(today i decided to cheek on it and presto a new chapter is here

-Danny D-
apathycrusades chapter 11 . 11/26/2006
As always, I look forward to your updates :) This is incredible. Rakel is such an inspiration!
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