|Reviews for The Merchant's Daughter|
| superheroesarereal chapter 15 . 11/29/2009
Edits that I noticed:
1)"A great part of her cursed him for ever falling through with the elopement" should be following instead of falling
2)"Even if Jack was found,"- was should be were
3)"Before long Mr. Ellison would summon him " comma after long
4) " and she had latched onto him within a heartbeat" take out had because thats one of those weird types of past tenses and the rest of your paragraph is in normal past tense
People that you write better than:
1) Nicholas Sparks
2) Stephenie Meyer
3) J.K. Rowling
4) Wally Lamb
People I like more than I like you:
| laggyman chapter 14 . 6/6/2009
i forgot to tell you yesterday that i read this on wednesday. it wasn't a bad chapter but not my favorite one storywise. it was however, one of the most well written ones in terms of style and all that other literary nonsense. i give it an 8.5 out of ten whe good job pretty woman
| laggyman chapter 13 . 4/22/2009
thank you for updating, woman. do it more often _
| fatso17 chapter 12 . 12/7/2008
Well here's one more old chap waiting for an update (hoping for the plural of that really..). You have a natural flair for story telling. Conversations and use of language really fits the time frame and characters and the descriptions of both character design and personality as well as events and emotions is bloody brilliant. Almost like a pro I'd say! Except they tend to sprinkle in more difficult/complex words and metaphors, their description is more deftly weaved into the story and in a less direct manner, and their sentence composition tends to be more varied.
Though I have a question. Perhaps I've not read the story properly, but I'm wondering is Jeanie still 14? If so it's a bit young for my liking... Though romance of such complexity at that age is not implausible, it seems more realistic for her to be around 16 or 17.
Overall, it's an amusing tangle of emotions to read about. I hope you keep writing and feed my hunger for more! Update ASAP!
| Nerdette chapter 12 . 8/1/2008
I hope there is more to come!
| Red Crown chapter 1 . 7/4/2008
That was quite entertaining.
The only thing I had a problem with was that there was no description of the character's physical features.
Other than that, I must say that your first chapter was rather well.
| superheroesarereal chapter 12 . 7/2/2008
you cheeseball. i love you almost as much as i love the cookies we made. _
| writtenwordsaremagic chapter 11 . 6/21/2008
Your story has been entertaining/lovely right down to the end. I can't wait to see what will happen next-especially Mr. Hammond's fate!
Hope you'll post soon! ;)
| writtenwordsaremagic chapter 4 . 6/20/2008
You write so beautifully. I know everyone has a different voice (in writing) but yours differed from the normal. It goes well with the period you are dealing with. Also, I am looking forward to find out whether the Rose Boy will have any significance in Jeanine's later life.
| Michelle Habibi chapter 11 . 6/14/2008
NO! not a cliffhanger! It was getting to the best part!
| S. J. Komza chapter 1 . 6/14/2008
Yes, very good, I should think. This was written in a simple enough language, but kept me reading nonetheless. The human emotions are displayed well, and the characters themselves seem interesting, though I will have to read more to know them better.
I am a fan of 18th and 19th century England myself, and master these elegant person's behaviour and manner as accurately as I possibly can after reading countless books written in those times.
At the end of most my reviews, I sum up what I have said. In short; very good, and expect more reviews from me )
| superheroesarereal chapter 10 . 5/18/2008
well i like it )
| koel18 chapter 4 . 5/10/2008
This is so beautiful!
The childish jealousy,Jeanie's and Jorie's respective personalities, Mrs. "Cathy" and her daughter- all of these are portrayed so compellingly that I am lost for words. Best chapter yet!
| koel18 chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
You are a pretty good writer, you know.:)
Loved everything-your characterisations, the dialogue(which is not as formal as I'd expect it to be,yet doesn't seem jokey or out of place.)
Though I thought the last paragraph was not snappy enough compared to the rest of your writing...
Anyhow, me likes!
*runs to read more*
| LeenElle chapter 10 . 5/8/2008
Wsheew, you weren't lyin about this being a long chapter! I felt like it was dragging a little bit toward the middle of the chapter, but a lot of the things you brought up seemed important to the grand scheme of the story. I am looking forward to what is coming next, and I hope you won't make us wait quite as long!