|Reviews for The Merchant's Daughter|
| superheroesarereal chapter 9 . 1/19/2008
love i liked it awesome face...there were some typos, but overall it was good.
"She did not know, however, that Jack had hoped that she would come, for he hadn’t talked to her for an extended span of time, and he wished to make amends by conversing with her alone, in private."- that sentence is sort of awkwardly constructed ( i know its not a run-on, im not tony)
"You and your innocence gaze."- i think it should be innocent
and there was one mre where you put he said he said and i can't find it...
good though...i'm glad you decided to write again )
| LeenElle chapter 9 . 1/9/2008
Very interesting chapter. It has been a long time since you've updated, and I wish I had the time to go back and read some of your older chapters, because I forget what has happened in the past, I have a vauge recollection, but it's been a while. Anyway, this was an interesting chapter like I said, I'm confused about both Jack and Gerards' regard for Jeanie. I hope your next update will come sooner than this one did, because I am very curious to find out what happens next.
| euphorictragedy chapter 9 . 1/8/2008
I really like this story so far and I can't wait for the next chapter! So please update soon!
| superheroesarereal chapter 8 . 10/18/2007
I waited for this chapter and I was up until like 3:30 instead of like 3 because I wanted to see what happened. I heart you and your awesome face writing LOVE FACE...the only thing I noticed was that it should be "ladies' man" not lady's man...AND I thought the Allan Royce guy didn't like her because she lied? I think I'm just not paying close attention...-_- but ANYWHOO I love it because I love you.
| LeenElle chapter 8 . 10/16/2007
Good line to end on! I'm totally confused, sorry to say. You're authors note at the beginning of the chapter, and then the happenings of the chapter have me absolutely befuddled, not to mention your chapter summary! First of all, if Jeanie is secretly in love with Jack, who you've said is going to be the one she hunts down, then you've got to start showing a little more interaction between the two of them, because at this point in the story I would be very surprised to see her love him. Purely because they never interact. Secondly, I don't know what is going on with this Hammond guy...but I think he could be a major player in the story, to the point where I could see someone falling in love with someone else there...hm. And finally, this Alan Royce thing has me absolutely bewildered! I have no idea what's going on! I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, but it does make me want to keep reading! I just hope my confusion is cleared up sometime soon! Keep up the good work, I anxiously look forward to your next update :)
| LeenElle chapter 7 . 10/14/2007
O I liked it! The insight into Mr. Hammond was great, I'm wondering how much of a part of this story he is going to become. I also liked Jack's protectiveness of Jeanine, despite his obvious affection for Sophia. There is definitely some kind of feelings between Jeanine and Jack...but what will become of them? Look forward to your update!
| LeenElle chapter 6 . 10/14/2007
Hahaha! I love how you handled the awkwardness that comes with growing up! I suppose it wasn't a subject readily talked about by families back then, so, surely a girl would think she was near her death! I also like that Jack has become the voice of society and impropriety to the innocent Jeanine! Now, I am assuming that Jack will become the boy that Jeanine falls in love with? And I'm wondering if Sophia is the sister he becomes engaged to? Right now I'm having a hard time seeing that happen, although, he might end up proposing to Jorie? I'm so interested to see what you end up doing with this!
| LeenElle chapter 5 . 10/14/2007
I don't think you rushed it at all. I liked the conflict you put in with the sleeping arrangements, very funny, and truthful. I can see Sophia being the type to hog the blankets, and much more I'm sure. I also like how you've brought the Rose boy back into the picture, how perfect that their father is hiring them! And I'm wondering what is going on with Allen Royce...does he like Sophia, or is he merely teasing her?
| LeenElle chapter 4 . 10/14/2007
I think you've grasped the feelings of the little girls very well. Jeannie's character amuses me, how proper and mature she is, I love it. I can't wait to see how it manifests itself as she grows up. I felt so badly for her when it was revealed that Sophia also got a free rose from rose boy, my heart broke for her! I am really enjoying it so far!
| LeenElle chapter 3 . 10/13/2007
I like that you are taking us through the history of Jeanine. Letting us see her personality as a child, which gives huge insight to the type of adult she will be. I loved the little merchant boy giving her a free rose after falling down, and I also like the relationship between the father and daughters. His concern for them is absolutely endearing. Jeanine seems very grown up for her age, and I'd guess it is partly from the tragedy of loosing her mother. I wish I could read more of what you already have posted, but I have a ton of work to do, so the rest will have to wait until tomorrow. Good work so far.
| LeenElle chapter 2 . 10/13/2007
Aw how sweet. I love how you portrayed John with the newborn. I'm waiting for the rest of the story to progress, especially since I know from the summary that the story is about the Bonnie Lass, moreso than the mother and father. I'm looking forward to meeting the girl with one blue eye and one green.
| LeenElle chapter 1 . 10/13/2007
Short, intense, good amount of intrigue, good first chapter! Makes me want to read the second, which, in my mind is the purpose of the first chapter. I'm interested to see where your going with this, the summary sounds really good.
| Lew Sylva chapter 1 . 10/4/2007
Great story, I love this. I've just read the first three chapters and I already know I love it.
I haven't got any criticisms at the moment. I'll definitely keep reading. Excellent stuff! Keep it up!
| GilraenFalassion chapter 7 . 10/1/2007
Oh no, that's intense! I don't like it that Jack and Sophie hang out. That girl is just bad news! I can't wait to see what happens next! Thanks for the update!
| superheroesarereal chapter 7 . 10/1/2007
after having a CRUDDY day, your story, like you, totally lifts my spirits... Honestly, after I read this, I was like, wow Elaine seriously fits her major _ I heart you, love _