Reviews for Victor's Song
hybridmb chapter 1 . 5/25/2006
It's a sacrilege to compare this to Coleridge's "'Mariner". It's not horrible- but c'mon, comparing this against the man who wrote "Kubla Khan"?

This has a few contradictions. If you're words are mute, I don't see how your melody can be lifted to the sky. Figuratively, sure, I guess- but it feels like you're cheating the reader, using such malleable phrasing.

It's sparse. It has a clear message- you've broken up with a girl, and you feel like you've triumphed over her, by resisting desire- ok, fine, I can understand that- but how meaningful of a message really is that? Get over it, move on. It doesn't deserve a poem, or at least one so quickly done. It doesn't seem like you've put much effort into this, honestly. What, half an hour at the most?

Put more time into what you write. You should have more pride in your work.
moralofthestory chapter 1 . 5/25/2006
Very triumphant. It almost reminds me of that one bit in "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner," where the Mariner sees the eels and blesses them...

Conveys powerful emotion, captures the essence of what you are trying to say, I think.
Frore chapter 1 . 5/25/2006
Pretty. I like it. p
Ashes0909 chapter 1 . 5/25/2006
I really liked this poem. It was concise and well worded!