Reviews for 16th Birthday Not So Normal
RetardedChicken chapter 1 . 4/2/2010
Wow... cool start. The ending was great dude, i love the part were the story begins. It was unusual and unique and I really liked it.
Carmel March chapter 16 . 4/13/2009
Still loving this. I am so sorry for taking so long to review! Just know that I haven't forgotten your story :)

Hope to read more soon!

Carm
Sheepie chapter 4 . 1/17/2009
Sorry it took so long to get the final review out! I hadn't realized you finished the picture. FYI I love it. You captured Ashley perfectly!
Sheepie chapter 2 . 12/20/2008
Second review!

Alright, the same issue as I stated before comes here. You explain the characters like you're giving a profile. You also don't give much detail to a lot of things, which would really add to the story if you did. You also need to go back over and reread your chapters, that way you can catch the spelling errors. A lot of errors riddle both the prologue and the first chapter.

One thing I don't like is that you switched POV at the beginning of the chapter. You should really pick one POV and stick with it.

And I have to ask... Nernia? You might want to rethink your worlds name, it's to close to Narnia. D: It sounds like a rip off, no offense.

On a bright note (I don't want you to think it's all negative!) I really like the concept you have. You have some really creative and interesting ideas. It's just getting them out that needs a little work. :D I'll be getting the next review to you probably after the holidays. Nice work, keep up the hard work!
Ash Algood chapter 1 . 9/14/2008
Woah...taht was awesome! teh symbol thing reminds me of altrai nd i havent messed with taht 1 in a while but this is great!
Carmel March chapter 15 . 9/14/2008
This story always manages to make me a happy happy person, with each and every update :) Great chapter. Can't wait for the next bit! And sorry I took so long to review!

Carm
Shimia49 chapter 2 . 7/17/2008
It got longer but I still read it! That's a good thing comming from me. When will the library guy and her meet? Was Hideki the other person watching her in the end? These are questions that I want to find out. I like writters that make me think about the story. Keep going.
Shimia49 chapter 1 . 7/17/2008
I like the ending of this chapter. It made me want to read more. I also like this story because it's not the way, thanks for commenting on my story. .
Silencia chapter 14 . 5/16/2008
Dun Dunn Dun! Cant wait for more, update soon!

See ya, Silencia
Silencia chapter 13 . 3/26/2008
aW this is really acute story!

Lovs Silencia
Silencia chapter 12 . 3/26/2008
OMG! HE KISZSED HER!
Adaku chapter 13 . 3/7/2008
Hiya remember me? Its been a long time!
Mad Asher chapter 1 . 12/30/2007
Oo.. sounds like the Battle of Narnia. A nice beginning. Strange but I've never seen many stories about a Japanese girl. Sounds cool and a good start.
Salem Jones chapter 2 . 10/5/2007
Interesting story, although I think it is a little hurried _;

I will be sure to read more soon!
Carmel March chapter 14 . 9/1/2007
I'm so incredibly busy, but since I've finally had the chance to read this, I just wanted to tell you that this was amazing and, once again, I loved it.

Hope to read more soon :)

Carm
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