Reviews for Demonic Wars: The Demon Lord
Mark Teremi chapter 9 . 4/28/2010
Very good indeed, I do enjoy thee outlook Link has and the brilliance that has been shown in him.

Meleyana, is as usual a whiney self-hater.

A new mystery girl... very intreging!
Mark Teremi chapter 8 . 2/3/2010
The latest chapter was over-all memorable, considering the many different critical circumstances that came to pass. Each being grand in individuality, even more so in emotion and personalization.

Also I had have to say it kept me on my toes, with an entertained smile and a huge eagerness to match.

I found it especially enchanting when "Gaia" spoke, also the way she made Thorn feel. (brilliant)

The fighting was interesting, the romance abundant.
Mark Teremi chapter 7 . 9/19/2009
Absolutely great. I think I like this side of Link a little better.

I eagerly await the upcoming eighth chapter!
Mark Teremi chapter 6 . 9/19/2009
Skimpy? Awsome. Amytheist eyes are a very likable thought.

I do say I am very glad I had read this chapter. It was definetly lovey, to say the least.

I eagerly go on to read the next!
The Girl in the Meodow chapter 1 . 8/11/2009
I love it. It was great to read.I'm readin more. talk to you soon.
xClutteredxChaosx chapter 2 . 7/27/2009
Okay, so I'm going to review as I read :)

I get a feeling that there's more behind Thorn and Link, like why they have 'powers that spell casters don't have'. I'm intrigued by them and want to know why they are so special, and have these powers. this cold land where they currently are is below the normal world? Despite his teachings, is it actually Hell? (I will keep rambling on like this, I apologize, haha!) Oh.. so it's the demon's land? I like the description of it. I can just picture it as this cold place with a red glow all around it. Red ground and sky...I understand why Thorn is uneasy there.

I like that there is a neighboring kingdom, it expands your world and hopefully later on you will go into it more.

And I get the feeling Lily's going to be a 'romantic interest' for either Thorn or Link? Once again I'm trying to predict it! Argh! Just so you know, I know I might be completely wrong! :)

I'm also interested to know why Thorn is more affected by his surroundings by Link... He Thorn a Druid or not?

Oh..and I like the air of suspense. Now I know that the demons are coming, I like how they have 'set up camp' and are waiting to ambush them. This may just be me (as I'm quite happy at the moment seeing as it's the holiday) but I find it quite funny too, something which I may regret later, haha!

Will Lily be fighting too, as she is stood at the front-lines? Hmm..I'll have to wait and see...

I like Rumus, he seems very wise. And after what Thorn said to Lilly, I do wonder what happened to Bael. I hope he isn't dead. He could have just been so affected by the battles he was in that he never wanted to do it again? I hope that's the case as I did like Bael.

I like the scene where the demons are approaching. I could really picture it. Oh, and Lilly WILL be fighting! I thought earlier that she was just a 'damsel in distress' king of figure, but now that I know she is fighting my opinions have changed on her.

I like the fact that there are different words for the spells, like 'Lecite'. And Thorn and Link seemed to have learnt a lot, after their training.

Thorn seemed very brave when he attacked the demons, trying to find the leader. I wonder why Link is so mean to Lilly?

And I was really surprised when Link and Thorn spoke telepathically, another advantage they seem to have. Is it because they are brothers, or have they learnt it? Or simply because they seem to have these powers? Hmm...

Hehe. Thorn is meant to be protecting Lilly, but she is next to him fighting demons, :D Once again, maybe I shouldn't have found that funny. I was on the edge of my seat when she got a blow to the shoulder, hoping she didn't get hurt again.

I like the part when they were clearing a pathway through the demons to try and get to the King. The 'essences' are also intriguing. I like how Thorn can try to find them, giving him a strange, physic edge along with his ability to speak telepathically, and with his dream. (Which I'm also curious about)

I also like it how the King seems to have a lot of faith in Link, with the soldiers having to follow his orders, after the king told them to.

When I found that the people had died it gave the scene a sadness. It seemed like as they were in the arrow formation they were trying to find the leader with hope, however death was all around them. And I like how the sparkling description of the river clashed with this.

Razel seemed terrifying and powerful when he slew all those soldiers so quickly.

The scene where they were killing the demon was very tense. I was actually very relieved when it was killed. I like it how Thorn spat on the corpse.

Wow, this review was VERY long! I don't think I'll review while reading again as it seemed like I just gave you loads of disjointed points that you already new. I'll just say that I thought you did this chapter very well and I can't wait to see what happens next. I think you made things go at a good pace without missing out on anything. I've learnt a lot more about Thorn and Link yet there still seems to be many things I've yet to learn about them. Like why Thorn is having that dream, and why Link doesn't like Lilly.

You described everything very well and there wasn't one point where I couldn't imagine what was happening perfectly.

The story started with a battle and there seems like there is so much more to come. I hope you update it soon as I know what you mean, when you said you didn't want to reach the end of what I had written. I don't want to reach the end of what you've written!

I'll leave the review here (this has to be the longest one I have EVER written) and I'll end it with just one question, based on Link's name. You may or may not be, but I want to know:

Are you a Zelda fan?

Haha, I read the next chapter soon! :)

xClutteredxChaosx chapter 1 . 7/3/2009
Hey! We have characters with the same name! (That's if 'Bae' is pronounced the same way as 'Bale')

Ok, so I've finally gotten around the reading the first chapter and I must say that I really like it so far! I love Thorn and Link already even though they have only been mentioned a few times, it seems that Thorn is the quieter, softer one and Link the louder, more arrogant one? I was going to say which one seemed to be more like their father, Bael but then realized they were both like him! With Bael being somewhat wise and thoughtful while still confident and fighting. I also liked how Bael can use magic, it was a surprise during the fight. Is magic something that has to be learnt in your story? And during their training will Thorn and Link learn how to use it? I suppose I'll find out when I read more!

The part of this chapter leading up to the fight definitely had an air of suspense to it, I didn't truly know what was going on yet you explained it more and more as the chapter progressed. I'm intrigued by these demons, and really hope that Bael makes it out alive, which I hope he will as at the moment he SEEMS to be the main character, although I have a feeling that you will be changing to Thorn and Link...

Aah, I need to stop trying to predict the story! Ok...back to reviewing.

You described things really well and I could just picture Bael staring out of the dark castle window while his wife slept in the background, it was a bittersweet scene seeing as he would later on be leaving her to go to war, it was a familiar situation in an unfamiliar, magical setting!

I'm also looking forward to seeing more of the world of the story, and how your characters develop. This probably isn't the greatest review in the world, although I do really like this story and can't wait to read more! As I get to know the plot-line and the characters more I will review in more detail.

Oh, and you said you were writing chapters 6 & that for this story-I hope it is! I know you said that last time you were inspired to write again..well now I have been inspired to write again :D I'm no longer procrastinating like mad :)

Well done with the prologue, I'll review the rest as soon as I can :)
xClutteredxChaosx chapter 1 . 6/22/2009
Thank you so much for reviewing my story! I added your story to my favorites (I think) although I haven't found the time to read it yet. When I do, you can expect a review from me in return :)
Axel Scott chapter 5 . 5/31/2009
Okay sir, I shall try my best to give an honest and impartial review. I think this is pretty cool... almost like a novelization of a dungeons and dragons type deal. But I have found several grammatical erorrs... spread out of course...

Not any other real bones to pick, except maybe do something my old english teacher would do; blow something completely out of proportion and rant about... Naw I wouldn't do that. All in all, pretty good. I do suggest a little more show not tell, but overall good.
Mark Teremi chapter 5 . 5/29/2009
Outstanding chapter, I (as always) am over-joyed with you'r work. Keep it up and i'll keep reading! (You'r number one (NUMBER ONE!) fan. ~Mark Teremi
Bluemauve chapter 5 . 5/25/2009
I'm happy. I'm seeing you steadily improve, through each one of these rewrites. You ought to be proud. I have noticed that you are mixing your dialogue and actions in this chapter particularly well, and that gives it a nice flow. You did a very good job.
Nobody New chapter 4 . 1/14/2009
A review for you! I am seeing definite improvements with each chapter. This one in particular was very dramatic and exciting. What I would advise now is letting each chapter sit for a day or two before posting it. It is hard to proofread immediately after you write, and I am seeing simple errors more than anything. Very good. I'm proud.
Mark Teremi chapter 4 . 1/11/2009
Oh, what a very upsetting chapter. I think you did great. And I can't help but to wonder what'l become of Thorn's friend. Also "Shadow Demon" Very nice. Well a good chapter I liked the fight scene and am determined to get another chapter out of you soon...VERY SOON!
Mark Teremi chapter 3 . 12/28/2008
A bit of change, seeing as how there was a lot more conversation and personality building. I was impressed trust me, still can't beileve it's this good. Keep it up. And bring me another wonderful chapter, please?
SlyWilliam chapter 1 . 11/14/2008
Well writin, good overall, ilook foward to more chapters.
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