|Reviews for OpenToed Refugee|
| Halcyon Impulsion chapter 1 . 7/6/2006
Fabulous character piece! Light and perfectly formed.
| angie3838 chapter 1 . 6/12/2006
I hope that one day you find a really excellent editor, because that's all this piece needs for it to really shine.
"scandal" and "sandals" is brilliant, and I like "barefoot" and "boardwalk" although it is more subtle.
I think punctutation needs to be changed a bit here. You have it written as one long sentence, but it's not, and that's the biggest flaw here. Specifically at "red sandals lost to/the undertow."
I don't quite understand the lines "if Summer/hadn't been given the/name of a season she/can not conquer" (also, it probably should be "cannot"). I guess I'm of the belief that a name is nothing more than a label, and it would be summer even if it were named autumn.
| emeraude-irlandais chapter 1 . 6/10/2006
How did I miss this piece? This is beautiful, how you make the transition from literal ("kilamanjaro's bar and grill") to oh so very metaphorical ("a red sandal has escaped/ the scandal on a/ wave crest that no feet/ can fill." As usual, no criticism. :) ~bella~
| bahaghari chapter 1 . 6/5/2006
| felicia13 chapter 1 . 6/3/2006
This is beautiful .. especially "She is a scandal/in read sandals," and "somehwere in the ocean/a red sandal has escaped/the scandal on a/wave crest that no feet/can fill." It's so .. nice.
I love the image of red sandal scandals .. it's so vivid in my mind.
all my love,peter
| coal and marigolds chapter 1 . 5/30/2006
this could have been avoided, if Summer hadn't been given the name of a season she can not conquer"
You amaze me. Truly.
| fairEtales chapter 1 . 5/30/2006
I don't know why, but it made me smile. It's like a comedy, you watch someone suffer, yet you can't help but laugh...maybe that it's funny, or that it's not you suffering...rambling now...I loved this! I especially love, "...,if Summer/ hadn't been given the/ name of a season she/ can not conquer..." I really liked that. Really nice imagery. Bravo!
| lxpetrik chapter 1 . 5/30/2006
I liked it, but I think you could have let the lines flow a little more. There doesn't seem to much of a flow. But I like the whole deal behind it. You use great imagry, and even though it likely has no point, it seems to have a deeper meaning then what first apprears. Good job.
| Midnight In Eden chapter 1 . 5/30/2006
this is a sweet piece. the imagery is fantastic and it flows well.
perhaps structuring it better would improve the flow when reading it. perhaps stanzas or more careful ordering of the sentences.
still a very nice piece.
| elasticbobaturtle chapter 1 . 5/29/2006
Quirky and somewhat melancholy. Clever and thoroughly enjoyed. :)
| Aquafied chapter 1 . 5/29/2006
hah, no shoes. no shirt. no service