|Reviews for The Old Part|
| elly aka emily chapter 17 . 11/19/2006
wait...ramen..in a frying pan? thats...interesting...
quietude! yay! new word!
oh, wait...there cant be an eddrol/vira thing! she already has a person! bad vira...
yesh. well, now that i'm all caught up, i get to bug you for updates! w00t!
more flahsback fillers would never hurt either...
| elly aka emily chapter 16 . 11/19/2006
ahh why didnt you make me read this sooner! like, best chapter so far! i own mara now. he's mine.
"“What do you care? He was never normal anyway.”"
"“Go, Dan Trio! GO!”"
"“Dan, stop being an idiot! Fight like a normal person. This isn’t a game!”"
w00t msot awsumest greatest quotes of the chap...haha, the last one with dan is so much like simon in tracey's story, and the whole thing sounds completely like ben and tracey...xD but i'm sure i've probably already told you that...
yes. amazing. and now, i shall go on to 17... which better have mara...cuz i
| sugarandspice91 chapter 17 . 11/8/2006
*gasp* spiked hair! tight jeans! ..why must you make him so perfect? . omg. he has a scythe in his walking stick. that is just priceless. :P ramen to the rescue! everyones all sad and meh and then mitsy's all "hey who wants ramen?" lol. gah! vira! nono! the dream is a "message"! from God! aw. how sweet. are you gunna have vira and eddy get together? that would be perfect. ya know, they were on opposite sides, but found that they truly loved each other ! that inside they were the same! eddy gets vira to open up and they all live happily forever! yes...or im just misinterpreting this. but i like my idea of eddy and vira finding true love together. :) i still cant believe mara didnt die..(that was his name right? yeah.) these people are so resilient. aw. dans trio of corpses is gone...or are they coming back? that would be so cool. or maybe he can kill more people. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALERXNESS! yeah. thats your replacement for a card. im just so busy...meh. you're, what, 16 now? yeah. w00ts.
| Shredded Shrooms chapter 16 . 10/9/2006
Alrighty, chapter 16, the awesome chapter. Already, I can tell it's gonna be awesome because Mara is flippin' insane and we find out Mitsuda's wayburd, which is amazing. He summons, what, nature? Trees and mountains and stuff o.o
O, flashback. Gotta love flashbacks.
Mitsuda talking to himself. Very anime-like. Or is he thinking?
Dude, Mara was only 13 when he joined Kagura and Sora? That's insane.
I don't get why Mara is attacking Mitsuda in the first place... but hey, it's DAN! AND THE DAN TRIO! YAY! Excuse me while I go cackle because Mara's leg got chopped off and now there's a huger puddle of blood... and yet he's not dead.
So who were those people that shot at them? And... OH NOES! DAN, YOUR BOOTS!
Caught up, bish. I own.
| Shredded Shrooms chapter 15 . 10/9/2006
Every chapter should begin with a mention of vodka. Especially like that. With beams of light. In its prison. Yeah.
Ba haha, and everyone should get treatment from Varnis like that when they have a hangover, too. He's so witty.
... lotsa deaths, huh? Electrocution. Ohh, I wonder... heh.
"Me and Jinni are barely making ends meet as is." JINNI AND I! JINNI AND I! Proper grammar, yo!
... Aurora's still here? Damn. I really don't like Aurora. Just kill her already or something, Mar. Seriously -.-
Ah, and the plot thickens. With some plans 'n stuff. Alright. Let's get to some killing and blood and stuff.
I like how Mitsuda just, y'know, goes out for a walk. And, y'know, just happens to stumble upon someone who wants to kill him.
WEE! Bwaha, boring chapter. Next!
| Shredded Shrooms chapter 14 . 10/9/2006
Woah, woah, what's this, what's this?
Why, it's Lera finally reviewing you, you silly poo!
YAY! But I've already managed to forget most of the characters that I didn't exactly care about. Back to the charrie list for meh.
Yashinjuku. I like it. But room 2112? Holy crap, that's a lot of rooms .
Soap opera calibur crap Soul Calibur for girls xD
I like how you compare Datsuba's creepy alien skin to the beauty of fresh snow xD Your description made me cringe. Datsuba's practically see-through. And I don't like Scarath. He's a pansy.
... Ghost calls Zerich "Zizi?" xD Ghost is my hero with his swishes and his zaps. He's the coolest person I know, kthx.
Oh, Zerich, aren't you clever? I can't trust these 3 people, so i'm going to kill them? Psh. Pansy. Kill him, Kagura. Kill him now.
(Don't mine me and my commentaries.. )
Wow. Kagura has... morpha-fying tattoos. Sweet.
Yet another amazing chapter for j00, Marzy-san. Onto the next one!
| Dust Cloud chapter 16 . 10/8/2006
DA TURKEY IS BACK!
And, FYI, you totally would NEVER have reviewed if I hadn't dropped all those incredibly subtle hints ;D
I saw the title of this chapter, and part of me died inside, because I was absolutely certain that there would lots of intestines and blood spurts and other bloody things falling out of dead people.
Oh, good job. The people are thinking the monologues in their own minds rather than telling themselves their plans of action xD which is very good on your part.
And yes, if I'd been flipped into the air and chased by a madman, I do believe I'd be slightly sore as well as Mitsuda.
Mara reminds me of a ravenous animal. A ravenous animal on crack. With a Wayburd. Not pretty.
I GRAB YOUR NECK AND KEEL YOU!
But I do feel really bad for him. I mean, it's definitely not his fault he's psycho.
Who will win? The rabid test-tube experiment or the deadly calm gardener? WE SHALL SOON SEE!
Um...Mara is really, REALLY creepy. He's gotta die.
Or, at least, get away. That works too.
God, what a great fight scene. Kudos to you.
Well, I really liked the chapter. Update soon!
| Nick chapter 16 . 10/4/2006
hiya alex... this was a fun chapter me liked alot oh yea bad grammer! anyways im gonna be lazy and not write a lot and you cant yell at me for it because you are the definition of lazy! Anyway make more ACTION chapters like this one and then ill review them all. Cya alex and btw DO YOUR HOMEWORK AT HOME! Not in precal class joo punk!1!11!
| sugarandspice91 chapter 16 . 10/4/2006
took you long enough. review: airborne corpse? what airborne corpse? there are only 2 people, mara and mitsy , and they are both alive. is it just like an extra corpse thrown in for special effects? i guess you can never have too many corpses. if sora, mara and mitsy all want to get rid of elgrid why are they trying to kill one another? wouldnt it be better to work together? but no. gah. politics. YAY DAN. handstands. dan trio. hearts. can i have dan? i wanna take him with me to cuba. we could drink martinis and watch the dan trio dance! oh yes. joy.
| elly aka emily chapter 15 . 9/26/2006
word or caution-i'm in a good mood, which unfortunately means i'm also in a brutally honest mood..jsut to let you knw...and apologeis for taking forever to read this chapter...ok, first off...you're chapter title sounds like a chapter of my history book...all fancy words and whatnot with inderdependance and globalization...:P
"The uniquely shaped glass stood near a window, trapping the morning light in its cylindrical prison, tossing the beams around the room in a random fashion, spraying sunlight on Reginald’s carefree face." that is one heck of a runon, dude...or something...
splashy eggs? lovely...haha, stupid regi...
"to messily dig in to his eggs ferociously" you need to pick one...ferociously or messily...or make it messily and ferociously...otherwise it sounds awkward...
"have been waking up to dead bodies littering their streets" how about to "to find"..they're not like, directly waking up to dead bodies..like they're an alarm or something..
"cause of death for many of the soldiers is different" the causes of death vary from"...might be better
there's...lettuce? in sandy's soup? lettuce? o_O""
haha, mitsuda seems to like to say awesome, huh? that's a recent development...
hey, gina's in it!
"Of course, glory doesn’t really inspire sleep, so Mitsuda just turned around and began to walk back home." dude...i love this line..best of the chap!
yayy! that...guy! with the name! in a trenchcoat! .
yeah, mabye not one of the best chapters, but not the worst either...end was great, with mitsuda, if a tad predictable...
k, well, put up the next one soon!
| EnigmaInk chapter 1 . 9/22/2006
Well written, good descriptions, and would would appear to be an intriguing concept, though it's a little hard to decipher from this far in. Looking forward to reading more. E
| sugarandspice91 chapter 15 . 9/12/2006
aww poor mara with his creepy eyes. that was mara right? yeah i think so. i remember the eyes. omg "hi! im here to kill you" hes so blunt. why is he all dying tho? is it his eyes? is he like possesed by the creepy eye demon? lol " you've never seen a talking snake before?" addler was fun in this chap. he should be like that more often. m sandwiches. this made me want a grilled cheese sandwich just like in those cambell soup ads. aww regi's a drunk! can you have him like dance on a tabletop one night when hes drunk? thatd be varnish man cooks too? cool. poor auara..however you spell her name. all confused and MEH! MY SISTER IS BECOMING A MONSTER! id be worried too if my sister was becoming like vira..if i had a sister. oo! its gina! hehehe...danny killed more soldiers. i lurve him. whats the Faithless? is that like an elgrid thing? mitsy should take lunesta. lunesta makes you sleepy. but of course that would ruin your plot..but who cares about your plot. mitsys health is more important! he cant fight mara if hes half asleep. poor mara sweetie. with his GAH-ey eyes and noe hes all chocking. he needs a happy ending. so dont make him die, k? kay.
| AcidxxPops chapter 2 . 9/11/2006
Oh, I like it , it's good so far. Can't wait to read the rest, you're an excellent writer.
Oh, and Luxas' name came from me looking at Roxas too much, I didn't like Luxord too much , although his name is kinda neat. I stole Xaldin's name and put it in my latest chapter of my story Bites, because that name is amazing .
| Dust Cloud chapter 15 . 9/10/2006
PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT I AM PROMPTLY REVIEWING! xD You know how you can make these little comments stop...
Aww, Aurora seems so cute. In a kid-kind of way. Too bad her daddy's a total jackass. It's sad that she still seems to love him.
And she still loves Sandy, even though she's become a murderous menace. Ah well, it happens. xD Aurora is totally the main character.
Mitsuda's going to be killed by a psycho! OH NOES! SUSPENSE!
Sorry, short review. But I really did like this chapter. Good job, and I await the next chapter! (And I hope they're just as short...I can't stand super-long chapters in most cases.) So, anyway. Update soon!
| Dust Cloud chapter 14 . 9/10/2006
Hi! You're now on my author alert, and I'll stop getting behind on your story, and most importantly, I'll CONTINUE TO SET A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR REVIEWERS EVERYWHERE BY REVIEWING SO QUICKLY POINT POINT HINT HINT WINK WINK.
Hehe, Alex, again, there's the whole talking-to-themselves thing. I jsut really think that, for example, "Not now...why him? Why did it HAVE to be him?" Would be more appropriate if Scarath thought that inside his own head rather than telling it to himself. Meh, but that's probably my only recurring criticism. It's not that big of a problem, anyway.
"It’s all like, ‘Bang! Zap! Swish!’ You don’t get electricity no more!” Hehe. Awesome line. :P
Wow. Ghost is capable of squealing.
ooh, Zerich wants to kill off his partners? Chilling.
Well, anyway, great chapter as usual.
On to the next chapter, which I am so promptly reviewing. Nag nag. xP