Reviews for The Old Part
Dust Cloud chapter 10 . 8/18/2006
Addler/patrick isn't dead, how spiffy.

And Sandy is definitely the only American-sounding name.

BOILED eggs? Yuck...Scrambled I can live with, but BOILED?

I always seem to read the name "Kishin" too fast, and it always looks like "Kidman" as in Nocole Kidman. I gotta stop doing that .

And that's the end of the chapter. Man, these things are so well written they just fly by.
Dust Cloud chapter 9 . 8/18/2006
Haha. Zerich has lie-infested papers. I think 'infested' was kind of the wrong word to use there, since it made me think of his papers being infested with lice or nits or tiny little viruses or something.

Many of the names here strike me as Japanese-sounding, like Yasuo and Kagura. Are you into anime?

Ooh...extermination. Chilling. Eye of the tiger, right? Kagura is kind of scary...and Elgrid's a jerk...

I'm GOING to finish this story today. Kagura's going to kill Elgrid (the name sounds remarkably like Hagrid) and I will finish this story and send more useless reviews. yay goals.

One thing I do have to say is that the character monologues, when they're by themselves, aren't very realistic. Like, here's an example: 'Kagura stepped towards the door, and sighed. “How much longer will I have to obey that greedy monster? It’s unbearable…His approach towards human life. I must extinguish him.” '

I dunno, I certainly wouldn't talk to myself in such eloquent terms. But, again, that's my only real criticism.

Greato languageo.
Dust Cloud chapter 8 . 8/18/2006
Yay mucho descriptions, tis cool.

Ghost was using Alan? Wait...what? Uh...oh...that kind of makes sense now!

And now Alan too is dead.


Hm. Well, that was certainly a plot development. I'll now read chapter nineo.
Dust Cloud chapter 7 . 8/17/2006
Oh, yay, they are in fact NOT dead and there's more to the story then "WE ALL BLOW UP!"

Ooh, look at Vira go. She's my favorite character. She really gets things done.

Ah, Sandy got shot. HER DAY IS LE RUINED!

Ooh, love the fight scene with Vira and Eddrol. Great job.
Dust Cloud chapter 6 . 8/17/2006

Wait. Tracey told me Addler was a Patrick cameo? I don't see that...muybe it's the whole snake thing. But whatever.

“Up ahead there is a group of soldiers. Addler has confirmed that there are at least two female soldiers in the group. I will dispose of the male soldiers, and then, I will shoot the women with the assault rifle. Then, we will undress, and take their clothes. We will then redress their bodies with our clothing, and fire more shots into the bodies, so that it seems that we managed to kill a few soldiers before they shot us to death. After we redress with these clothes, we will detonate one bomb to draw attention, and leave. They will assume our deaths, and from there, we can expect little to no contact until the mission’s completion. This is crucial, because once they find our bodies, we will, for the most part, have eliminated the possibility of having to deal with an experienced general. Do you have any questions?” She spoke in a hushed, near silent voice.


Ooh, yay, they got Aurora!

Oh no, they're all dead. .

Well, on to chapter le 7, then!
Dust Cloud chapter 4 . 8/17/2006
“What do you mean we can’t kill anyone else?”

Haha. I like that line.

Where do they get all their human subjects from?

And it's more blood.

Well, great chapter, I shall hope to read more soon! Again, great use of vocabulary.
Shredded Shrooms chapter 12 . 8/17/2006
GHOST! SQUEE! YES! WOO HOO! *dances around with Ghost plushie whilst waving a Ghost fandom flag* Yay! Cue me being a fangirl.

... Ghost is singing and dancing.

Ghost is my hero for life. No money to get a newspaper? Punch the newspaper dispenser? Doesn't work? Shoot the bastard! xD

Wow. I didn't even know that cups of water were free. That's surprising. Ghost got lucky.

O, auburn hair. O.

Don't worry, Ghost. I still love you, deranged or a lunatic.

Alan, my dear Ghost, was being EMO.

"Shaking his head violently back and forth, Ghost ruffled the papers and stood up, placing his left arm on his waist as he raised his right in the air. “Hey, everyone,” his voice boomed, and Ghost snapped his fingers to alert the late-night cafe goers of his presence. A dozen eyes swiveled in his direction, many with looks of confusion. “I’m...” Ghost waved his arms frantically in a giant arc, and flashed his perfect teeth. “...not dead. Isn’t that a relief? I know I’m feeling better now.” At a disapproving glance from the kid behind the counter, Ghost bowed slightly, and left the shop."

WOO! Best line... in the whole history... of the planet. xD

O, he has a teal jacket. Emily doesn't like teal. Teehee, small tender hands.

Woah, it's the chilly mineral shtuff! So it's anthracite? ... but how'd a piece of it get to where Vira and Eddrol had been fighting?

Ghost's creepy little chamber and creepy little ways in which he talked to himself, the moon, and rocks, and his creepy little gravestone rock my grandmother's toaster's poopaw.

Back to the other guys, huh? Fine. Fine. Ghost is cooler, though.

Yasuo is a pansy. And Kishin is spiffy with his bladey goodness. And Reginald with his vodka xD

O, someone's altering the Ethrean Message. Ze plot thickens.

Shredded Shrooms chapter 11 . 8/17/2006

YAY! FOR! RAMEN! Stop whining, Sandy, ramen pwns j00.

Woo hoo for Wayburd explanation. I need to go find some Anthracite and get a Wayburd. Then I can be all kickassy and stuff. Because Wayburds remind of Devil fruit powers in One Piece. And I'm guessing the Vira's mutated cells are in her eyes? I mean, they did start bleeding... or maybe just in her head?

Stupid Aurora. Go away. No ramen for you, bish.

Scarath is so annoying, damnit. "I.. care for you. I saved your life..." I swear, any second, he'll be just, like, "I.. I love you Alan..." xD

Wow. That whole fountain scene. You and your descriptions. Yeah. Never cease to amaze me, yo. So Sora's shmexeh, then? He's got his velvety black hair and strikingly attractive features 'n stuff xD

Shredded Shrooms chapter 10 . 8/17/2006
Review for chapter 10! ZOMG!

... psh, who eats boiled eggs these days? Advanced nerve reparation surgery ftw! Kat must be one spiffy guy. And so's his wife. All... gun savvy. W00t!

Psh, all gray mornings are beautiful.

But why're Jinni and Kat working for Elgrid? Everyone's supposed to be against them! Like everyone's against the gov't in V for Vendetta!

Woah, Addler's not dead! That's a surprise. Then again, Vira's not dead either. Huh.

So now we meet the Sybilline? Sweet. But there you go again with the paragraph o' descriptions. Space it out, man. Space it out.

So who're Marx and Gina? xD Karl Marx, of course. And Gin-hah! And Rivan? Who's that? OH, THE CONFUSION!

Wait, so Reginald brought beer for Addler, too? Wow.

Zozma chapter 9 . 8/17/2006
Mysterious shadow stalking. While it's always nice to relate to the villains through a perspective entirely focused on them, I can't help but feel that building a relationship between reader and character isn't what you had in mind so much as gawking at these figures and saying "Neat! He has a cool superpower!" Or maybe it's to reveal certain aspects of the plot.

Wow, that amount of whispering must look awkward on camera. But then again he is a cruel genereal. They'd probably think he was making some merciless threats or something.

Not much else to say. Overall good chapter, but there are beginning to be too many perspectives and sides to keep up with in such a short span of time.
Shredded Shrooms chapter 9 . 8/17/2006
So there I was, wandering the internet, when I suddenly remembered about your story and guilt ate away at my insides, devouring my liver and spleen.

I decided to start reviewing again. See what you've done? Hopefully, this doesn't get cut off like last time.

Plus, i'm not duk anymore. Let's get this started, yo!

Zerich has lie-infested papers. Almost instantly, I imagined he has a lot of papers infested with some type of bug or maggot xD

"It came flying down from its great heights with a vengeance, soaking Led and Yasuo instantly." That is some ANGRY rainfallin' there.

Led and Yasuo yaoi scene! Yasuo in Led's arms... together, in the rain... xD yeah, ok, i'll stop now.

"Winter bit at his cheeks like a hungry dog feasting at its master’s table." Egads, your descriptions keep getting me everytime. They're too awesome, damnit.

Oh dear, and then the body walked away. xD What a problem.

*eyetwitch* What the crap is wrong with Mara! That was creepy.

Sheesh, everyone seems to be against Elgrid, huh? SUCKS TO BE THEM! AHAHAHA!

"This was an extermination." Tch, HECK YES!

Onto the next chapter! I'm catchin' up!
Dust Cloud chapter 3 . 8/16/2006
Niklas. Like that name, don't know why.

Ooh. I like snakes. They're cool. I like the description of the snake.

OH! That's where I herad the name Aurora! SLEEPING BEAUTY!

Sandy's kickass. she's a great character.

And the quest begins!

(Just to warn you, my reviews aren't vey helpful, for I review as I go and never say anything useful, but whatever)

On to 4!

Dust Cloud chapter 2 . 8/16/2006
I'm sorry, I totally forgot I only read up to chapter one on this story _;

Poor Aurora. She seems to be a rather deep character. You have a knack for using interesting language that seems to fit every situation in the story, if that makes sense.

A Symphony of Screams

That sounds like opera to me xD

anticliche freak chapter 12 . 8/13/2006
woah, now ghost is starting to act like you. great...

Umm, living in a grave yard... that is ... cliche and not at the same time, like a cliche that everyone thinks is a cliche so they never actually use.

The fighting on kishins part was cliche however, done well I guess, but blurrs and flashes are used to much in fight scenes for my liking.

Is it a bad thing that the bad guy I reelate most to when it comes to motivation is ghost? sure, his motivation hasnt been revealed yet, but I cheated, and the point is that I relate most to the insane one. *shrug*
sugarandspice91 chapter 12 . 8/9/2006
GAH! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH GHOSTMAN? HIS IS FRIGGIN DANCIN AND SINGIN AND A HES BEING SARCASTIC! this is not ghostman...ghostman is creepy and homicidal and DOES NOT DANCE. well, you made him i suppose you can make him dance. ok. what is up with...those marbles ghost talks to?the scroll thing?ghosts mood swings?( he is all scared and shaking. he is laughing.?)the flying blue thing that killed the soldiers?yas/reg's past?your chars having 2 names?yas's Messages?him being able to predict the future?that FRIGGIN CRYSTAL YOU STILL HAVENT EXPLAINED YET?alans last name? ( i thought it was asura. or maybe it was his middle name. or extra name. or it just doesnt exist anymore. yeah. thats probably it)so lexy, dahling, im thinkin youve been a little too cryptic in this chappy. i swear, are you saving EVERYTHING to be revealed in a later chap? why cant you explain some of it now? meeh this chap wasnt any fun. no humor. ghost acting NORMAL. i dont think i will ever understand your chars. but, anyway i reviewed and ya know what that means?GIVE ME PICYS!please?cuz i want to see them, so go get them out of your trash. good boy. qwa ill be going then. :)
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