This is such an amazing story! I can’t wait to see what happens next. Please update soon!

Please update!

Seriously please write more! I want to know when those two actually get together already! Making me go insane

desperately trying to
[I understand it has its uses (here’s better than some), but you use way too many adverbs]

I finally blurted out
[Here’s one of those spots where the adverb adds nothing to the narrative. A blurt is already a quick action, the previous scene description indicating he’s struggling and making it even less necessary]

This kid was a total delinquent;
[1: Telling. Your character has papers on his (her?) desk, you can use reading to give us the information. 2: semicolons are best avoided even in technical writing, in narrative they separate whole clauses – periods do that better]

"Reasonable
[In every scene break, you need to identify the who, where and when. Starting with dialog as a rule is a NO because you need to clarify who is speaking (and to whom), while STILL answering those who and where questions. Within the first line. That’s possible, but very difficult. That’s why most recommend giving a line (just one sentence can do) do indicate the place and the characters active in the scene. THEN you can move into dialog without filling your audience with confusion]

But then, I had literally begged
[crippling passive. “I begged” alone is past tense and conveys all the necessary information. Remember, if you CAN convey information in a more succinct manner, that’s often better]

What an idiot
[You just talked about a concept or objective, an idiot is a person who acts on/with concepts, idiocy would apply to the concepts]

Thus, I was being bitched
[passive. Also only now, at least half a page down, describing the characters involved in the scene]

have you crapping all
[You have profanity strewn all over the narrative so far, but now that you have a person with anger regulation problems you’re going to censor?]

heels of my hands
[I hear it as ‘heels of my palms’ more often, though that might just be personal choice]

"So not the point
[I want to point out I still have no idea what the relative ages of the characters are. I don’t know what nation, either, because we only have an implication of middle socioeconomic class from the distain for the wallpaper (though at least middle class from the casual reference to owning a car below) and I can’t think of a nation (developed or not) that would not expel a student who beat another one to unconscious (probably causing traumatic brain injury).]

rats; that's not
[either a period or comma should go here]

you're letting this ridiculous fear
[It’s not a ridiculous fear, but it is inappropriate for a person intended to interact with others with a sense of authority]

My eyes floated down to the ground. Ouch
[Good first sentence, showing the emotional state. I think the second wasn’t needed]

on a self-righteous rant
[But she’s not on a rant at all, there’s too much dialog exchange and both perspectives appear to take into account the other. Your viewpoint character might still resent being wrong, or just told so]

I'd had a really
[passive, Telling]

as loud as my eardrums would healthfully allow
[Most people set music louder than that. Minor damage piles up and humans still have no means of repairing hearing loss. The adverb drew attention to the oddity of the phrase, if it just said “turned up my music” it would’ve looked fine]

My stomach expertly
[passive, also not identifying the where or when. That should be first in any scene]

myself regretfully to
In the highly unlikely case
[passive]

"You're the bastard who steals my tree
[Amusing, but your earlier portrayals are all consistent in the main character being unable to handle assertiveness. This aggression does have minimal setup in the preceding paragraphs, but still looks contrary to all previous characterizations]

The familiar fear of interacting with a stranger came over me
[What, no residual irritation from the person who steals her preferred spot?]

I couldn't express myself
[That shout was an expression. If you want a reversal of mood inertia, we need a catalyst. He and her boss glare at her, for example, gives a reaction from them that could then invite her retreat]

horrible Peer Mediator." Oh
[Does she say this? Normally those unspoken bits in narrative are only from Page, but the dialog makes no sense coming from her. You’ve got two other males active in the scene, you need to clearly identify or you push the audience out by muddying the agent of action and dialog]

of your progressing friendship
[I feel like this is Author Tract. I know it’s your intention to get here, but all that an outside party can ask is that they work together for the time being and learn to balance each other. Whether they’re friends at all is irrelevant to that professional development (it’s just likely if it succeeds. Homicide might be likely if not)]

stare at a guy
[But you describe HIS eyes. Not what Page does (and if she’s staring at her sneakers, you’re cutting off too much sensory information from your audience. I know it makes sense, but keeping her eyes locked on him at least keeps her in the scene)]

and (with much strain) lifted
[avoid parentheticals]

which sounded suspiciously
[You already mention mutter, and established her focused interest in him, why not just transition into dialog like normal? Then things would flow]

today to get to know each other
[to observe each other would be more neutral. Not sure if that’s your intention, because “all forces in the world conspire to push the characters together” is a little heavy]

What reallyhappened
[spacing]

Ben is the most foul
[Then why does he want a recommendation for pre-med? In every nation I know of, medical programs (pre and otherwise) include background checks]

I am sure you have a firm sense of where you want the plot to go, but I sense your head is more at that point instead of guiding us through the immediate scene. You start off with plenty of conflict, which is good – but there are lots of “informed traits” that don’t pan out as soon as they have an opportunity to come up in scene. Your viewpoint character appeared like somebody with a socially-inclined Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but it’s implausible they’d put themselves in the positions she does (she’d have struck out with panic attacks the first day if she could even get herself there). Then she seems too comfortable with the new guy (lust or no) and is either too submissive or too active with her friend. My style is to incline the play-out of the scene with heavy interaction between characters and their environment, but it looks like yours is very dialog-reliant so you might just want to keep in mind what you think people need to say and work to keep the narrative and actions from disagreeing with that.

Please update :( :( :(

This story is WONDERFUL, I haven't been able to stop reading since I've stumbled upon it. The depth you've given to both Page and Ben makes me care so much for those two that I only get FRUSTRATED when they don't REALIZE THEIR FEELINGS. I really hope you get around to updating soon as I would love to see where those two go next and how things will play out with Macy and Dee. And also Tristam and Ana's Wedding!

Please update!

Please please please update! It's been so long, so I don't know if you're still writing or planning to finish this. But I really love this story.

I think your story is great! You had me laughing from the beginning with those scenes in Juarez's office. I've read quite a few stories on this site and I'm really surprised I've only just come across Evolution (and I'm also super happy as a reader!). I like all the characters, especially Page. It really comes across that you know your characters well which makes them feel real.

Hope you update soon!

#don't drink and derive

Easily one of the beat stories I've ever read, its funny, cute, articulate, well thought out. Your grammar is impeccable ;) and I just cannot wait to see them finally kiss and maybe have cute sex scene? I think some people have deserved of after such a long wait. anyways, please update and keep writing! Good job!

I love you. Just wanted to put that out there!

Paige and Ben are almost sorta kinda acting normal! As close to normal as I feel like they've come. It's nice to see that they're making some progress! He can be sweet when he's not being super mean. And it's also sweet that Macy cares so much about Paige. I feel like this happens so often in real-life relationships, where the friend is like, nooo, bad idea, and the girl is just like, yeahhh, probably right, but I'm still doing it! At least, that's how it seems to work with m, haha.

Lots and lots of love! I miss you tons, we need to call/skype/meet in person sometime!

Kat

Wow wow wow! What an emotional rollercoaster! I couldnt put your masterpiece down (drove my family nuts) lol. I cant WAIT for more. You have an amazing gift for capturing emotions and releasing them on your unsuspecting readers! When are you getting this beauty published? It would easily top The DUFF. Thank you for sharing your talent, Sempai!

I had tears of joy running down my face when I got an update alert for your story. Welcome back(:
I was a little scared when Page found Ben smoking and drinking on school property. I was expecting him to blow up but thank god he accepted Page's help. And WTH Macy, quit cockblocking!

There are moments in your writing when I feel like you have a complete sense of human struggles with intimacy. This is high school but I love how transcendent these themes are. So thanks.