|Reviews for Can't Take It|
| Sakura Reyna chapter 1 . 6/7/2006
I felt this way about someone I loved 2 years ago, but he's changed, so...I don't worry about him and the pain of lost love disappears
| Laur chapter 1 . 6/2/2006
Don't worry sis...stupid to say I know...but nothing will happen and if it does...well...you've got me!
Not the best I know...but yeah...tryin' here...remember we always love you and we'll always help you when you need it! And be strong for you when you can't be! Ok? Just dont' forget it sista!
| lafoma chapter 1 . 6/2/2006
I like the emotionvery raw and real:)
| Kristi chapter 1 . 6/2/2006
I liked this poem as well. i can feel your emotion. Did something almost happen to you know who last night? Or are you just worried in general? Well I'll talk to ya later. Gotta finish getting ready for work. yeah! not. ciao
| Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 6/2/2006
True emotion. Well written and relatable.
| Septsamir chapter 1 . 6/2/2006
It's fairly minimal and without a lot of imagery, so I'll concentrate on spelling/mechanics:
'anymore' is two separate words in this stanza.
'I can't take,' no need for a comma, it adds a pause which detracts from the flow.
'I can't take it anymore.' this is the correct usage of 'anymore', I think. Wanted to point that out.
'I just cant take it anymore.' you forgot an apostrophe!
'Trust is now ovverun with lies' it should be 'overrun'
'my heart isnt up for this fight' forgot an apostrophe again.
'its tearing me in two' should be 'it's tearing me in two'. 'Its' is possessive, 'It's' is a contraction of 'it is'.
'At the thought of loosing you.' quick, change it to 'losing you'! That's a big error and it really makes this fall flat.
Like I said, I can't find fault with the actual content, so I just picked out some silly mistakes for you to help make it a streamlined piece of work. :3-S.