|Reviews for Ocean Witch|
| Twilight Starr chapter 1 . 11/3/2007
Dramatic beginning. Good job!
| antigonelives chapter 1 . 3/9/2007
This flows so beautifully and I love the way you write. I hope you have more posted on your page because I would love to read more of your stories!
| Noihseret chapter 1 . 6/30/2006
oh wow! please update soon! i really enjoyed this. you have a beautiful style of writing too. can't wait to read more!
| blood-red white and blue chapter 1 . 6/6/2006
nice-i like the detail and the description. It is a very clever plot line-i think im goin to check up on this story soon.
| Adaku chapter 1 . 6/6/2006
well, I'm going to agree with the first reviewer, though it has a great vivid details in first person(which I love), there's some grammer misses, but don't worry you're not the only with grammer problems.
Just reread and revised, I had check four times to get all of them in my stories. Keep up the good work. I can't wait for the next chapter. I really have to update soon. Till next time. _
| sylvia's syndrome chapter 1 . 6/6/2006
This is certainly interesting. I like the imagery and your diction in this piece. My favorite part was your description of the energy in the air: “I could smell the static in the air like smoke, so thick and pungent it filled my lungs and stung but it was as invisible as the cold air.” That’s some seriously excellent sense imagery.
However, I think you have a few mistakes. First off, ‘shallow pools of vermilion blue’ makes no sense. Vermilion is a red color, so I don’t think it’s the word you’re looking for… unless you meant purple, which is what a mixture of blue and red would give you. But since you also described it as ‘like the sea’ I think you were thinking of a different color. Perhaps cerulean? The other mistakes are grammatical errors. A missing comma there, an unnecessary apostrophe or two… none of them are major mistakes.
Overall, this was an enjoyable read. The imagery is truly wonderful in this piece – it’s so very vivid. If this is the beginning of a longer piece, this seems like a very promising start. If this is a one-shot deal, this is a very interesting descriptive narrative. Keep writing!