Reviews for America, You May Close Your Borders
divinexglory chapter 1 . 3/20/2007
The war was not declared on false pretenses; America was attacked by terrorists, which requires retaliation. Because negotiation won't work with terrorists. Neville Chamberlain can attest to that.

Also, America isn't waging war on all Iraqi's; there is a vast difference between the slaughter of Native Americans, and the terrorists who believe they exist solely to eradicate America and Americans.
Kohlomere chapter 1 . 6/15/2006
It's wonderful that you feel that way, truely but do you have a plan to change? E.
No Trust chapter 1 . 6/14/2006
Every time someone posts a satire inspired by Jonathan Swift on , Mr. Ed kicks baby Jesus through a window.
Guest chapter 1 . 6/11/2006
I thought I'd be the 3rd person to say that Bloody Mary and Mary, Queen of Scots weren't the same person.

Bloody Mary was Lizzy's sister, and Lizzy chopped off Mary, Queen of Scots' head...even though they were cousins. Family love for ya. Bloody Mary's the one whose name you say into a mirror 3 times because she's supposed to come and haunt you if ya do it.

As to the rest of the essay...meh. Personally I don't want to 'fuck' immigrants.
Mbwun chapter 1 . 6/10/2006
Mary, Queen of Scots and Bloody Mary are different people, and someone already covered the bit about them not being sisters. All in all, though, quite stirring. I agree whole heartedly. Fuck immigrants (as long as they keep picking my fruit, so I don't have to)!
Vivix chapter 1 . 6/10/2006
Whoa, did you choose wrong examples. California and Texas were not seized, the people living in it seceded from Mexico, fought off Mexican troops, became territories, and voted to become states. Americans just didn't take it. And FYI, Custer wasn't at Wounded Knee. He was at a little ditty called Custer's Last Stand, which PROMPTED Wounded Knee. Yikes, it's the direct opposite of what you were trying to insinuate. And it's not like there's a dearth of American-Indian massacres out there. And to be fair, Americans were technically the minority when they destributed the smallpox laden blankets. (But honestly, do you think the people were trying to give all Indians smallpox? This was the days before germs you know. People had no idea what caused smallpox, just that it could be transmitted, and the Protestants had immunity against the disease, so they might just have passed what they thought were plain ol' blankets)

And come on, all these examples were hundreds of years ago. What was considered moral is not considered moral now. The U.S. had made judgements that seem questionable now; isn't it much better, with renewed ideals of better freedom, to try and make up for those mistakes in the past?
Moonhowler0-0 chapter 1 . 6/10/2006
That was a great parody, except for a minor mistake.

I’m sure that (Bloody) Mary, Queen of Scots, and her little (Protestant) sister Elizabeth I wouldn’t know a thing about that.

Mary and Elizabeth were cousins and Elizabeth was older.

I'm very particular about that kind of thing. Other than that, great parody.