|Reviews for Embrace the dream angel|
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 3 . 7/24/2010
Hello again. :)
Again, I liked the story idea and plot line, but I think you really need to have a lot more detail for it to make readers want to read it. (I'm not trying to be mean, honest. :) )
Damon does seem like a nice guy and I'm interested to know what the shadows are... :) Good chapter, overall. :)
Avid, via the Roadhouse. :) repaid reviews. :D 2/2. :)
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 2 . 7/24/2010
Hey, Naomi. :)
I liked the beginning verse quite a bit, and I think it set the tone for the story very well. :)
I also liked the general storyline, but I thought you could have added more detail, and instead of telling the readers what happens, show them.
An example would be:
Sierra saw Damon walk away from her, and she felt a bit confused by the turn of events. Her confusion didn't subside when she noted that he stopped by a local stand, and saw an exchange of money take place. Her smile grew when she realized that it was two ice cream cones in his hands-one for the each of them."
Or something like that, you know? :) Hopefully this helps, and you get the idea of what I'm trying to say. :P
Avid, via The Roadhouse. :) Repaying reviews... 1/2.
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 1 . 7/18/2010
Oh, I thought that this was really cute. :D I'm assuming that the man is sort of a Hypnos inspired character? He sounds like it to me. :) (Hypnos is the Greek God of Dreams.)
I really loved the descriptions in this. They were very well done, and I liked how you told them from the shocked/curious girl's viewpoint. :D
Good job on this one, Naomi. :)
Avid, via the Roadhouse. :D
| obsession93 chapter 4 . 11/14/2007
it was pretty good. that sentence ur having trouble with, I thought of a solution; not even an angel of dreams...
think about it.
also, check out my story Guardians. It's finished!
| obsession93 chapter 3 . 6/16/2007
this was pretty good (you forgot the k in kissed, might want to fix that.) I'm anxious to see what happens next.
| LunaWolfheart chapter 3 . 6/15/2007
wow! that was really kooL! and its ok if he askes questions.. how else are you to get to know someone? - update soon
| obsession93 chapter 2 . 6/13/2007
this was okay. I'm guessing that Damon is an angel. are you going to add more? if not the ending was kind of abrupt and unfinished so most likely you are going to add more. I'll be sure to read the next chapter.
Check out my stories "The Fire Weilder" and "Guardians." Read and Review please!
| obsession93 chapter 1 . 6/13/2007
this was pretty good and cute. the grammar could use a little work (it would be good if you looked over it.) but over all pretty nice. I wonder what the story is about.
| Free the dancing Llamas chapter 2 . 3/8/2007
| sarah1491 chapter 1 . 10/12/2006
Wow! I love it! :) The topic was great and the content was nice. Some grammatical and spelling errors, butit didn't interfere with the poem too much. BYe!
| Mischaw chapter 1 . 6/23/2006
It was very interesting, but deep and meaningful!