Reviews for When The Stars Won't Shine
eyeoftherose09 chapter 14 . 8/12/2007
Wow. That's the end? Aw. They weren't were part of her imagination? I'm confused. Are they...not alive? So did she come back to her mother?

Well it was a good chapter anyway! I loved the dialogue in it. Not sure why specifically, but I did.

Great story! I really enjoyed it!
eggsbenni221 chapter 14 . 8/10/2007
Hey, just wanted you to know that I read this. I'm still trying to let it roll around in my head, and when i've thought through everything, hopefully I can give you a good review, but for now all I can say is bravo. :)
Sophelia chapter 14 . 8/9/2007
wow. beautiful ending.

i had to reread it several times, and even now, i'm still not clear about what happened to wendy, but i suppose that's the way you meant it to be.

i think one of the most impressive things about this retelling was how you twisted the idea of believing in Neverland into a weakness. The classic Peter Pan story likes the idea that children have a beautiful imagination that disappears as they grow up. with your story, Neverland becomes more about running away to avoid confronting your fears. it's a refreshing concept. ]

congratulations! i'm glad i found this story before you finished writing it - otherwise i probably never would have found it.
Margot Tenenbaum chapter 14 . 8/8/2007
that was beautiful. a unique, fresh, and original spin on a classic tale. nice job.
TruelyBlue chapter 14 . 8/7/2007
I liked it and you did a great job making an old classic your own. I do think you made Peter Pan a little bit of a man-whore but it turned out nicely. Great Job!

eyeoftherose09 chapter 13 . 8/6/2007




That wasn't in the original story, was it? Delicious! I want more now!

Although I must say, I didn't care for Andrew in this chapter. Surprisingly, I liked Peter more. Andrew was getting all...rape-ish there for a few moments which was weird.

I'm confused about Tiger Lily, how did she know that she was nothing? Or...didn't exist? Or whatever happened? Are they all like that, and only she discovered this, or are all of the indians, or...well I suppose we'll find out.

Please update soon, could any of us be anymore hooked (no pun intended) than we are now? I doubt it, you master of the cliff-hanger. )
eyeoftherose09 chapter 12 . 8/6/2007
Sorry I've missed the two updates...I'm reviewing now! D

Aw, poor Tink. I didn't really like her until that weird? Hm. So, why does he act like she's his mother, is she - or was she, I guess - older than him? Did she take him from his crib (if that's what she did to get the Lost Boys...I'm not too sure on that) originally? Hm, what a back story I never thought of.

I really liked that chapter though, how it was in about three different places at the same time. I adore Andrew. I also love how you write, the mental images you create, they're very pretty and...poetic.

Yes well I'm off to read the next chapter. D
Sophelia chapter 13 . 8/5/2007
wow. interesting twist, with peter and andrew. i never saw THAT coming.

yeah, i did get the part about tinkerbell and tabitha. i was just curious about Andrew and especially Peter's background.
eggsbenni221 chapter 11 . 7/29/2007
I'm sorry it's taken me a while to get to this. For some reason I haven't been able to get onto the site for a while. Anyway, I found this chapter really interesting to read, mostly because it seemed very cinematic the way you kept shifting scenes like that. I found it a bit confusing to read at first only because you would drop the reader into a scene and then pull them out again really quickly, but that can also make it more intriguing. Anyway, nice job here.
Sophelia chapter 12 . 7/28/2007
interesting... i like how it's a much darker version of peter pan - i've never come across any retelling like this before. there's no obvious villain (Hook doesn't seem evil), and it's interesting how the Lost Boys are hormonal adolescents who refuse to grow up, rather than just children. the mermaids' brothel and the "new" Tiger Lily were all clever touches.

what i think might help tie your two storylines together (Deborah vs. Wendy) is to hint (in Wendy's story) what went wrong that caused the characters there to hide in Neverland. right now, i'm guessing each character in Neverland is hiding from facing something in the "real world." i think this way, the two storylines can fit together better.

this was a very creative story - i'm curious to see how the rest of this story will continue. nice job ]
Sophelia chapter 1 . 7/27/2007
intriguing prologue. i'm curious to see who's the one talking in first person. i'll be reading the rest ]
codyismypup chapter 12 . 7/25/2007
OMG johnny depp! sorry, just saw that and had a happy dance over it. I have him plastered all over my walls. Hm, a locket. Interesting. Do you mean an acorn? Okay, so I'm guessing it will have a sad ending. Aww, tinkerbell you sweetheart, too bad she's gone. :(

I hope that Wendy doesn't end up dead. That would suck, considering she gets left behind originally.
eyeoftherose09 chapter 11 . 7/17/2007
Neat. I adore Andrew. D It is cool that in this one he's...not...old. And grouchy. Well, sort of. But anyway. So, is this the part where we all clap and say, "I believe in fairies!" so Tink doesn't die?

Well I can't wait. D Please update soon...
blood silhouette chapter 11 . 7/15/2007
Honestly, I like your interpertation of Peter better than the many other fanfics and spin offs I've read; man-whore Pan has more of a personality and more room for characterization than many others, and probably the original as well. And Andrew Hook? I luff him much as I love the classic Peter/Wendy shipping, I won't lie, I'm rooting for Hook.
codyismypup chapter 11 . 7/15/2007
You know the stories that break your heart when you read it? This is possibly one of them. I love this story(your story), a lot. It's sad to see Peter Pan twisted into a messed up person, but, it's a what if. What if Peter Pan was more charming than we thought? What if he liked sex more than relationships? You've made this story, as angsty as it is, more realistic. Thank you, even though it makes me sad, I still love this story and will continue to read it. Hopefully there's a good ending? (most likely not, from where this is going) keep writing!-Avey
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