|Reviews for War|
| abstractelysium chapter 1 . 6/14/2006
It's a neat piece, and I understand what you mean to say. But it doesn't do it for me. Try to spice up your language with sensory details - your reader will understand war's horrors better if you describe their smell and sound. And we will be more convinced of freedom's sweetness if we can taste or touch it. Does that help? If I can feel it with you, you will move me.
Thank you for sharing this!
| Cheesy Brussle Sprouts chapter 1 . 6/12/2006
I really like your poems, their very well thought out, you raise questions that we should all think of - unfortunaly very few actually do. I think that your portrayl of what war is- why we fight - should we fight - are all very good. everyone thinks - well if the war involves them directly - that either this is a worthy cause or that they have been unfairly discriminated against - My history teacher once told me that we can't jugde a war that we have lived in only those that have gone past now while i don't nessisarily agree with that assumption i can see where it comes from. whoops I've started rambling sorry. your poems just got me thinking.
Very well done,
| thedarkthatiwas chapter 1 . 6/12/2006
...! melikes. Very strong. Very good.
| emeraude-irlandais chapter 1 . 6/11/2006
So true. So very true. Perhaps the line "heard by only deaf ears" could be changed to "heard only by deaf ears", and "those images all real/images of our past" is redundant with the word 'images', but the framework is there, the passion is there. God, I'm intimidated by your works! bella