|Reviews for The Smallest Elephant|
| magalina chapter 18 . 7/3/2007
As I didnt review for such a long time, Im going to leave a comment for every chapter left :nods:
As I say in every review... poor Skeezie! ;_; Hes so nice and yet... poor Skeezie!
Wah, he passed out! Im gonna read more now.
| borrowed and blue chapter 24 . 6/22/2007
got cut off last time, by my nosy little brother (live at home now).
Wanted to add that what I meant was that since I'd noticed some development in Keegan, I hoped he would be able to cope with Nehemiah and everything. A learning experience or something.
And just a thought, but it felt like maybe nehemiah's behavior had something to do with the doktor thing. Like he can't love anyone, because he's scared he'll die away from them. So sad. Mede me like him better, even though what happened to Keegan and everything. (You know he was never my favourite.)
Feels a little empty now it's finished. But I think next one will be good as well. Do you feel the pressure? :)
| borrowed and blue chapter 23 . 6/21/2007
Ek. I do not wish to hear that photographer's name ever again. My seminar or discussion or whatever you call it afterwards was horrible. Everyone had a go at me. And that's of course when I should have stood up and been all like "Hey ladies, I'm talking about the look and framing here, not child molestation and consent, you're the one's bringing it up, you're the one's with an issue" But of course I didn't, I just sat there all "whatever". Especially this one girl pissed me off, she studied DESIGN and had been to BERLIN and talked about this Brian della Bruce artist guy who couldn't objectify women because he was QUEER. Yeah, you got that right. (And you're just the 40th person or so I'm whining about this to.)
Stop with the sidetracking. We've already been through my suicide issues, so you know about that. Not that I'd let that affect how I feel about the ending. (Ok, maybe a little.)
It was a good chapter, but in a way it felt a little crammed, to much going on. Skeezie has found the book and run and Skeezie's mother and breakup and background story and run again and Nehemiah and rejection and is Nehemiah sick? and run back to old house. It was almost hard to focus on what was important, because everything was. No breathing allowed.
On one hand I liked it, since it's been obvious from the beginning that Keegan is pretty unstable. But I hoped things would work out for him in a better way. I did.
But on the other hand it felt a little too neat and story narration wise maybe it would have been good if you had hinted the suicidalness some chapters earlier. (Maybe you did, and in that case I apologize.) I tleft you hanging a little, since (at least I) as a reader you had detected some kind of development in Keegan.
Can't be bothered to review last chapters seperately, felt more like epilogues maybe, but much needed, since that last chapter of TSE really showed Keegan's feelings, and made it easier to understand him. Beautiful metaphors as usual.
Think I'm going to pretend someone found him first, before he pulled the trigger. And if that makes me hopeless/pathetic/incurable romantic I don't really care.
(Within 48 hours on the childish mailaccount. Promise!)
| MD chapter 25 . 6/20/2007
I'm screaming for a sequal. Or at least a small glimpse of what the other people's reaction are to his suicide. I'll love you forever and ever and ever? D:
| femaleodd chapter 25 . 6/18/2007
well...my girlfriend did turn me into Keegan for the most part...cause i cheated on her with a guy friend...and then i dumped her and now i'm trying to get with him...even though i used to swear that i'd never go out with him...yeah...and now i'm legal! WOOHOO! and he's been legal for a year and 5 days longer than me...oh well...at least he wasn't the one who had to have a rather WEIRD conversation with my mom about...things because my mom got nosy and read my journal...yeah that happened to me...and now...i'm surprised that i was able to go to his birthday party...and i'm also surprised that i was able to keep my cool...and my previous, "if you get too frisky/perverted i'll chop your manhood off" attitude...even though i really didn't care when he was using me as someone to keep him moving in the pool...hello...it's called "floating"...yeah if you're confused, we were trying to turn his pool into a freaking whirlpool...and i was always the "closest person" whenever he decided that he didn't wanna swin of whatever anymore...pfft...yeah whatever...it's called "makeing an excuse to touch me" and he's just lucky that i didn't do something like MC hammer and be all like, "ba nana na na nat...can't touch this"...um yeah..i'm going go now...
| continuous brevity chapter 25 . 6/18/2007
that was a beautiful story. i'm really sad it's over. i would have loved to see how nehemiah and skeezie reacted to the whole thing. i adored this though. icredible work!
| GASPtrinitrotoluene chapter 25 . 6/14/2007
AW :;cries:: that ending was so sad! stupid nehmie! i love skeezie... man... ::depressed now::
awesome awesome story. it kept me hooked until the very bitter end _
| Vampgurl99 chapter 1 . 6/14/2007
Hey, it's me again. I just checked out your live journal and it says that you live in Boston. I live outside of Boston! I thought that was cool so I had to let you know...okay that's it. Bye!
| Vampgurl99 chapter 25 . 6/14/2007
Wow, this is fantastic! I'm not usually into morbid endings like yours but it completely fits. I understand why the "elephant" had to die, but it makes me sad. To know that Keegan had to resort to suicide, that seems like such a huge decision. I think it would have made more sense if he had lived a couple more days after his breakup with Skeezie and falling out with Nehemiah, to show how badly he's doing and everything. It just seemed kind of sudden for him to go into his room and write the note and such, but I don't hate the ending, just saying that it seemed a little impractical the way you had him killing himself immediately after everything.
I wish you had explored Nehemiah and Keegan's relationship or non-relationship, however you want to describe it because it seems so unlikely for Keegan to just instantaneously like Nehemiah. I guess the harder you fall for someone the harder it is when they don't like you back.
What was Daniel going to say to Nehemiah when Keegan bumped into him? Just that he should stop drinking?
I like how you had a sort of another background story with the elephant and peacock, quite interesting indeed. Did you first come up with the elephant tale or Keegan's story? I wish you would do some kind of a one year after epilogue or something like that. To see how Keegan impacted everyone with his death. Cause I'm sure Skeezie would blame himself and maybe Nehemiah too...I don't know, but just a thought.
I'm really happy with how your story turned out even though you wrote a really sad ending, it seemed to fit mostly. I just wish you had a expanded on some small things a little more. Alright, keep on writing!
| TheyLied chapter 25 . 6/13/2007
*is in shock* ...Oh... wow... poor Keegan. T.T. I hope Skeezie and Nehemiah feel really bad! I mean, I know they were hurt and all to but... Keegan was such a cutie! . My suggestion that you don't have to listen to (and, knowing myself, I understand if you don't) is to write a little one shot/ epilogue thingy to that we can see the two boys reactions. Or the funeral. Or something. Or hey, bring Keegan back from the dead. Zombies really aren't that bad, just the hunger for brain really. And I know two boys (Nehemiah and Skeezie) that would be willing to donate! (ok, not willing, but force and knives still work, right?) Meh, I'm now going to bury myself in brownies and cry. *sniff* Poor Keegan...
| just give me november chapter 25 . 6/13/2007
this made my tummy sad. i think i might throw up.
good ending, though... i mean, honestly, of course, i wouldn't want that to happen, but it makes sense. i feel so bad for skeezie.
| dolly-dear chapter 25 . 6/13/2007
Awwe.. I hate Nehemiah now. I hope he like, feels horrible now. And Skeezie, I just want to hug him. Really. He deserves it. Poor, poor, Keegan. Poor, stupid Keegan.. I hope someone finally cares about him. Sad..
| diebyownhands chapter 25 . 6/13/2007
So much for hope. Oh I have tears in my eyes and a little five yearl old asking why I look so sad.
I don't hate you it was a very good ending. A proper ending I guess. Once you get over the sadness and the ... gosh lost hope, because I really hoped things would get better for him you figure it was a good ending, for the story.
I wonder how everyone else will take this. Skeezy and Nehemia how will they take this? so sad and I'm rambling and this probably makes no sense.
This was/is a beautiful story and not all stories can have happy endings.
| diebyownhands chapter 24 . 6/13/2007
I really like that song. I hope I won't think of this very sad chp when I hear it now.
I don't even want to read the next chp. I mean is this a tragedy? or will someone be there to stop him?
| diebyownhands chapter 23 . 6/13/2007
oh my you are giving us all three last chps like that all at once! Should I be extremly happy or sad to see an end? oi I have to admit I'm surprised.
Omg poor skeezie. I feel so bad for him, reading this story I had never felt to bad for him until now. You really did a good job at portraying(sp)his heart break.
damn and I didn't think this could get sadder. Now if HAART is what I think it is... then shit, you leave me speechless.