|Reviews for The Smallest Elephant|
| pretensions chapter 25 . 3/22/2010
oh. my. god.
definitely one of the most intense, heartbreaking, TEAR-INDUCING things i've ever read. maybe i'm just too emotional, but i really did cry for nehemiah because of his illness and all his impenetrable walls, for skeezie because of his heartbreak and the fact that he risked everything for someone who didn't love him enough, and most of all for keegan because love is a terrible and beautiful thing, and he made (in my opinion) all the wrong decisions.
keegan's "the smallest elephant" story was really touching and beautiful in a heartbreaking way. i especially loved the heart garden and the departure from this land to freedom, because he clearly felt that death was the only release. BU TOTALLY DIDN'T EVEN SEE SUICIDE COMING AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD HAVE A BITTERSWEET ENDING WITH NEHEMIAH/KEEGAN. clearly i should've paid more attention to the "general/angst" genre labeling.
i loved these lines:
"This story started out when I met Nehemiah.
This story continued when Nehemiah kissed me.
This story ended when Nehemiah told me he didn't love me."
and skeezie's line about hoping keegan would starve to death. it was such a punch to the gut, especially since that was the one thing he had NOT wanted. and when he said that he would die without keegan! oh god, now i'm left wondering if skeezie kills himself and if nehemiah succumbs to hiv/aids and if rocks fall and everyone dies. i just really want to know what happens in the aftermath, but of course i can't because this is the end.
but really. thank you for writing this.
| Yaoi-sama chapter 25 . 3/1/2010
Wow. The story was intense until the very end, and, would you believe me if I told you that I'm all shaking and trying not to cry? I think I understand Keegan completely (although his situation isn't at all like mine in any aspect.) The truth is that love is so blind and pointless. He should've thought about everything before indulging in this stupid affair with Nehemiah. I know, he fell in love with him, but he also knew that Nehemiah was a womanizer, such a playboy, a guy who would never settle. It was stupid of him he thought he could change any of that (if he ever thought of changing the green haired prick). He now had Skyler, and it should've been enough for him. I think I can distinguish between the two Keegan's loves. He -loved- Nehemiah, but was only -in love- with Skeezie. He should have thought what he really wanted, or, what he wanted -more-; therefore, in my opinion, it should have been just stupid Nehemiah from the very Skeezie! I really grew to like him! But 'Kook' was so egoistic and I couldn't believe how he was deceiving the poor guy. I really like this Skyler character, and I would go further into analyzing this amazing story, its structure, and the characters, but I'm pretty sure it would bore you to death.
So, to make the long story short, Keegan should have chosen any side; being with Skyler, preferably. Maybe, with time, he would really come to truly love Skeezie, and everything would be wonderful for both of them. Or, at least, I'd do that if I were him. I would choose the safe side. The stable one. To know exactly what is what and all. So I was kinda like: "Serves you right!" when Nehemiah told him he didn't love him. And his suicide seemed reasonable (well, not entirely; it's never the best solution, but let's say it's ok here), taking into the account that he was left with nothing. But still, if I were him, I would wait a bit, when the dust settles, and try to make up with Skeezie (with lots and lots of effort, sacrifice, and all of that).
And one last thing. Nehemiah is a bastard who was just playing with other people's feelings, never caring even for his friends. At least I think so, but correct me if I'm wrong. He should just overdose and die at last. Ok, that was a bit too personal.
Anyway, awesome story, profound,...I'm kinda lacking words with which I want to describe it. It's enough, for the end, to say that my heart is still beating so fast, and it still aches.
| chocoroll chapter 25 . 2/26/2010
I'm crying so much, that was so unexpected. I was hoping for some sort of reconcilement or forgiveness, but it ended as a tragedy for Keegan.
I guess Keegan couldn't get the love he needed and desperated for. His feelings were confused for Nehemiah and Skeezie, creating a mishap that left him worse than from where he started. It ended up all downhill on his "fresh start".
But you could say he probably messed it up for himself, being unknowingly greedy. He gave love, to only not receive it. And he was also given love, to only not reciprocate it. Keegan's feelings were hurt, and also hurt another's. I honestly thought he would end up with Skeezie.
It was a great story despite the dark ending. It has great main characters, although Nehemiah's secret confuses me, and most of the supporting characters were left out. Keegan's story of the elephant portrayed a lot about how he felt, and summarized important previous events in metaphors.
I hope Keegan truly finds happiness in "Freedom".
| AlbinoApples chapter 25 . 2/13/2010
I'm crying. Wow...I'm crying. The ending was so sad, but nothing else would have been proper. Nothing else would have really made sense. The open conflict...the open pain...and the only logical resolution was death. It's amazing the symbols you packed into this. It's wonderful and sad. I love it. Thank you.
| AlbinoApples chapter 17 . 2/13/2010
The hate bit...that was amazing. I find myself often saying I hate you when I really want to say I love you. I hate you never carries the same effect, though. Keegan's pain really shone through this chapter. It was really good. Loving it.
| AlbinoApples chapter 15 . 2/13/2010
Wow. That was definitley the most orignal sex scene I've ever read. I wish I had a trophy to give you. Though, to be honest, I'm rooting for Nehemiah...don't ask me to explain why. Haha. Intuition, I suppose. I love it.
| Kobashiftw chapter 25 . 1/8/2010
Wow that was super sad...but i guess it really couldn't have ended any other way...I really want to know how Nehemiah and Skeezie reacted! Awesome story though. I really liked it.
| although chapter 25 . 12/30/2009
When I started reading this story, I expected it to be like most of the angsty stories on here: mildly angsty and then Keegan ends up with one of them and the other one gets really hurt and they stop being friends (I was rooting for Skeezie since the introductions), but the whole ending is pretty happy and only a little bitter sweet.
And then there was the anorexia, and then Keegan kept digging his hole deeper and deeper, and then the whole scene with the English teacher, and then the ending was perfect. The whole story was perfect. It was unfulfilling and there was absolutely no resolution and it was great. It made me sob. I haven't sobbed for a fictional character since I was 8 and Beth died in Little Women.
I'm so glad you didn't listen to any of the other reviewers and make an epilogue. Because this story is perfect. Unresolved endings are the very best kind of ending, and you did a very good job of going about that, and you're an amazing writer, and Jesus Christ, you made me sob.
| NoHornCorn chapter 25 . 12/27/2009
I knew that one of the characters were going to die. I just thought it would be Skeezie. :( It was really good!
| Me chapter 25 . 12/23/2009
I don't think I've ever read a story that made me cry so much, but it's really good. :(
| Angels-obsession chapter 25 . 9/22/2009
Now for a mega review of DOOM! I just finished reading this, and I'm very emotional right now! lol :P Only the extremely, absolutely amazing, genius, gorgeously written stories such as this one can do that.
I hate stories that end like this, it lacks a sense of closure.
That being said.. it truly was so beautifully written. I'm not trying to give this unconditional praise or anything, because it does have it's kinks and rough patches, like all stories do. However, the emotion of it overshadows anything else. I read this story constantly in an emotional state, unfortunately, that was one of sadness most of the time. I get really invested into stories like yours, and it was really painful to read the ending. Not because it was badly written or anything, it's just because it practically made my heart bleed to know that it was implied that Keegan shot himself. That at such a young age he had no reason enough for himself to keep going. It's a fictional story, but when I was reading it, it might as well have been ME feeling the way he did. I was really into this story, lol!
Like I said, I hate character death. Absolutely hate. I dunno if you warned for it, but if you did I defiantly missed it. I always skip the character death stories. They just kill me! lol
Though, I really wouldn't want you to end it any other way. It's how you visioned it from the start. When I write I never keep the same ending I start with, but I understand that it was what you were set on doing. It works.
On with the characters..I didn't really get the feeling of knowing with the rest of the 'gang.' I was totally focused on the 'love triangle.' They were really the only characters I cared about, which is fine because the story was really about them. Though I must admit, I had a soft spot for Daniel. I'd like to see more of his story! _ I dunno why I like him so much. haha
I could sense that Skeezie was truly in love, and I really hoped that somehow Keegan would realize feelings for him deeper than what he thought, or something! You could just kind of tell that 'miah wasn't in love with Keegan. Not to mention that 'miah had a whole wealth of problems he needed to deal with... anyway!
Random thought: I really liked the part of the TSE story where the peacock unzipped it's costume to reveal a snake. It was such a vivid image in my mind.
I also thought a few times that Keegan was only in 10th grade, he shouldn't be having to deal with such serious relationships! It's too damn bad he "apparently" committed suicide. I say apparently because I'd like to think that, in my own little world, he just wrote that TSE shot himself as his ending for that english assignment as a metaphor for letting go of his problems.(and no one will tell me different damnit! T_T) Not that he actually did kill himself. Then I can picture him growing up and, experiencing love again and getting all old and shit! :) That makes me feel loads better! haha
I thought Keegan's story was beautiful, and tragic. I agree with most of your other readers. It would be nice to have an epilogue, something to give more closure. Also, maybe even a side story of how the other characters move on from this. Or a side story about 'miah's brother :B asdjfals, sorry just expressing my random love for him. :P
Anywho, this is one of my most favorite stories. Like, where only a select few reside... It's one I wont forget easily. Thank you so much for writing it and sharing!
Also, sorry if half of this makes no sense- it was kind of late (for me anyway) when I wrote it. The kind of late where all the words start to blur together... _
| abbsi chapter 25 . 9/7/2009
It made me cry. :( Well written. can't hate, but, made me cry. And yes, i could see that Nehemiah didn't/wouldn't love him for most of the story.
| BelieveIt chapter 25 . 8/26/2009
This story took my breath away, it was extremely well written and had me clinging to every detail and everything was so life like. i really did love it, although it still would have been lovely if everything got sorted out and Keegan ended up with 'a happy ever after' with one of the boys, the ending was so effective, and i think that was the best ending you could have done. i think i actually nearly cried, because i could feel the emotion. you're really talented. are you planning or thinking about possibly making a sequel or maybe even an epilogue in the point of view of Nehemiah or Skyler or even both? anyway really good on this story, this is one i will surely be re-reading.
| Seeker of Knowledge chapter 25 . 7/30/2009
you have a gift: there's so much emotion packed in this and i really connected with the characters, poor Skeez X(
. the ending was absolutely brilliant and reduced me to tears
never stop writing
() Eleri (
| plushdeath chapter 1 . 7/17/2009
just wanted to say that this is probably my favorite story, it made me cry my eyes out.