|Reviews for New Girl|
| The Hidden Feeling chapter 49 . 8/5
To be honest I think if you cleaned up the writing style a bit, possibly paced out the 'ending' in chapter 22 and put this through amazon self-publishing with a really good cover image, description and price, this could potentially sell really well.
If you completely 'remastered' it, this could even make some waves.
Insane or not, I think this is something people would love to read simply because it's such a refreshing concept. There are a few controversial themes in this, so there are multiple angles for people to find interest in this. The bully theme is something many people can relate to, more and more people find lesbian fiction cool, and the rape-consent debate is as old as humanity.
I'm not saying that there are no ways for this to totally flop, but then that's it; nobody would even know you failed, and if you manage to profile the themes the right way, without scaring people off, maybe make it a less rough around controversial parts (don't change anything though), and this could, and I'm stressing could here, become successful in a dirty pleasure kind of way, which would when you think about it really lead to some interesting debates.
'First 'Twenty Shades of Grey' and now 'New Girl'; when will this hellride to depravity end? More at 9pm'
I mean if Twenty Shades of Grey did it, why shouldn't this be possible for New Girl? Okay, TSOG is about as conservative as a 'controversial' book goes, but especially in the recent years people have become A LOT more accepting and many people yearn for hard topics. Especially on the internet, where they don't immediately come with stigma.
Worst case: you make a few dollars, and an experience with self-publishing. Also you can say that you faced your fears. ISN'T THAT SOMETHING?
I'M BEING COMPLETELY RATIONAL HERE! IT'S NOT LIKE I'M DESPERATE FOR MOAR OF THIS!
plz give it a thought
| you-dont-know-my-sstory chapter 1 . 11/9/2014
wow like, this is super hot, I'm trying to picture Lindsay and Jackie in my head, and like gaaaaaaah I love this
| JJudkins chapter 7 . 10/16/2014
I had to stop here and let you know how much I'm liking your story so far.
'It's an inside joke.' Ha! Lindsey and Jackie are great together. It's been years since your last update so I guess you're done, but hopefully you've written other things.
| Joni chapter 41 . 6/19/2014
"No, what's lame is Madison here, coming over to my house to give me an update about what I don't want to know!"
Best line ever
| Truna chapter 26 . 5/23/2014
You pulled that off pretty darn solidly; Lindsey and Jackie are so realistic here. xD
| Truna chapter 25 . 5/23/2014
This chapter was freaking amazing.
I can tell the next one will be a phenomenal feels trip.
| Truna chapter 23 . 5/23/2014
omg my god no
LINDSEY. LEARN HOW TO CARE, FREAKING ANNOYING STUPID BULLY-FRIEND.
| Truna chapter 16 . 5/22/2014
xD Laughing my arse off.
Amazing chapter with a perfect mix of humor and seriousness.
| Truna chapter 15 . 5/22/2014
YOU BE AWESOME.
| Truna chapter 11 . 5/22/2014
| Truna chapter 5 . 5/22/2014
Awesome character interactions.
| t chapter 4 . 2/6/2014
Really not what I was hoping for. Just four chapters of abuse. Im not usually one to give up on a story but I just can't read this anymore. You seem like a descent writer just wish your storyline was better/different?
| Reira chapter 48 . 12/11/2013
Yes, it would have been better if you ended it in the stadium confession; that way, it wouldn't be so hard to accept that this piece you wrote here is done, finished, and will never be continued. I'd be completely honest; this story is not one of the best here in fictionpress but its not that horrible. I gotta say it was pretty interesting, disappointing at times, confusing, amusing and entertaining at the same time that it had me reading all 47 chapters in one go. I don't know, but I just love your characters here. I find myself imagining how they would look in real life and all that stuff and I was like what the hell am I doing?
I love Wit; I wish she had more character development here. Would love to know how things will end up with her and Mandy. I mean that last line in Chapter 47 really had me 'Oh man this is gonna be epic; Mandy x Wit fuck yeah!' Then I had to read your last note.. /facepalm I didn't really like the Wit x Lindsey pairing, neither Mandy x Lindsey. I just want Linds to stay with Jackie, but then again Jackie x Wit wouldn't so bad either. Haha but yea it would have been lovely if there was at least a chapter about Mandy and Wit. T_T
Anyway, it really saddens me that this has come to a disappointing end.. but if you feel writing again, please do so. You have a talent. Don't let it go to waste. :) And wherever you are right now, I hope you'll find your way back here someday. :)
Good luck with your endeavors missy. :3
| spezria26 chapter 11 . 5/19/2013
Did I like it? Ahh! Firstly, I know that you decided to end this story unfinished but Im still gonna review. Anyways, I absolutely adored this so far! The empty thing is so powerful and how she identifies. This whole time I've been reading this story and like, "I like this Lindsey kid" and i couldn't figure out why I liked her. I usually like the funny, bitchy characters as long as they show some sign of a heart or have a reason why they're so damaged but she didn't have one. She raped somebody, she molests people, she fucks with people's minds. She was sick before, and she still is, but now your starting to explain why she's so messed up. I adore your writing. Also, love the love-hate relationship between them. It's thrilling, erotic, and completely lovable in a very hatable way.
| Guest chapter 48 . 3/15/2013
Please continue pleease :(