Reviews for Little Brother
flunkybubbleshorts chapter 1 . 7/16/2009
It made me cry! *sniff* (i'm gonna go hug my younger bro when he finishes studying)

Crymson Tears chapter 1 . 7/2/2008
wow, it's so touching. I can't really express it. It's...tragic perfection.
pretentious fXXX chapter 1 . 12/15/2007
i have a little sister and though we fight all the time, if something happened to her i wldnt know what to do...and my mum...she wld probably react the same way...

that was very nicely written
MarvellousMarvin chapter 1 . 2/9/2007
i love the innocence, and the futile hope. that was really moving.
marginalia chapter 1 . 1/13/2007
Holy Crap. I don't swear very often, pretty much never, but HOLY CRAP! That my dear, was intense. Very nice job.

special chapter 1 . 8/31/2006

Gah. The childlike naivety, hope, innocence, and the whole story behind your words is woefully beautiful.

You've touched and broken my heart.

Keep writing.

Hazeleyed Everglades chapter 1 . 8/9/2006
Oh, god. That was so, so sad. The "D" word- it took me a second to figure it out, (I was thinking "damn") but- god, it's just so sad!

I love your technique. It's in character and easy to read, but still sophistocated.
ADSpencer chapter 1 . 7/28/2006
Oh this is so sad. It reminds me of how I felt after I had this awful nightmare about my little brother getting held to the bottom of a pool by a bully because I couldn't grab hold of him. Makes me want to cry. Beautiful writing.
Aquafied chapter 1 . 6/21/2006
i think it's heartbreaking

i find, no father and son college? to heaven? to hell? to nothing?

questions, questions.
Amore Vita chapter 1 . 6/18/2006
I like it. It's very self-explaing. It doesn't need a title saying the brother is dead or anything. Your writing does it for you.

Best writing wishes
burning in effigy chapter 1 . 6/18/2006
Love it :)

"You've gone to the land of/glow-in-the-dark planets" that's so cute and innocent... well, the entire poem is exactly that: cute and innocent... and naive. not really understanding, but realizing at the same time.

that doesn't really make any sense. oh dear... well, excellent job!
TeaWithOnions chapter 1 . 6/18/2006
Wow... this is so brilliant and awesome.

"winsome sugar sunshine" "battering ram hugs"

I especailly loved the blowing bubbles part, because you can imagine it so vividly and its so human. Great job.
Oriel Vaughn chapter 1 . 6/18/2006
It's endearing, how this older sibling takes responsibility for his younger brother - like how "you didn't write - because I forgot to teach you how". And there's all that kiddy stuff like battering-ram hugs, toothy grins, stick-outy hair... and you have chao qiang vocab la. Swirly rainbow iridescence! I could just cry. Very good writing. [Refer to 'Inferiority' once more.]

Is there some sort of irony in that "I guess I still haven't realised... won't ever bring you back"? As in, well now he's realised.

You know for some reason "soapy film wobbling between my touching thumbs and forefingers" reminds me of Siheng xD I don't know why!
rinoa.celin chapter 1 . 6/18/2006
reli good! i initially was wondering abt the planets part of it but it made sense as i read more. Nice! .
truth is subjective chapter 1 . 6/18/2006
The breaks seem out of place, but the tone is homely and innocent, and the end really wraps the whole thing together.

Didn't really like the word "frantically" along with a few other words, sounded like it didn't fit well.

But very good idea for a poem! Nice work, write more :D
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