|Reviews for You, In The Corner|
| klare chapter 1 . 9/23/2006
a beautiful little moment so common to life. you write very well. and thanks for your review, you inspired me to write another poem.
| Halcyon Impulsion chapter 1 . 9/23/2006
The experience is a comfortably universal one, yet this clearly describes a specific event. This is the best line:
You/radiate with the fire of a/thousand nights, strung/up in your faded blue/eyes.
| Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 9/19/2006
I like the interaction of this. Some excellent phrasework as well, like "His gaze travels up scissor-legs", very unique. I like the specific active imagery of the beginning. Well written.
| reluctant writer chapter 1 . 9/11/2006
Nice little poem. Says so much in so few words. I feel like I'm there. Nice job.
| drippingdreams chapter 1 . 8/4/2006
I love the imagery in this, especially "radiate with the fire of a / thousand nights, strung / up in your faded blue / eyes." Beautiful!
Thanks for the R&Rs and the add to favourites. :D I feel really honoured.
| Leaving Here chapter 1 . 7/22/2006
i love the last sentence! :)~Liz
| Rebecca Kelsey chapter 1 . 7/15/2006
| My New Pen Name chapter 1 . 7/10/2006
| Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 7/6/2006
Ooh, what a nice touch this poem's image of an incandescent woman! Somehow I wanted a bit more. Nicely done. m (a short spin-off on your Goddess theme with a Neolithic touch.)
Undeniably, something in Her gaze,
Made other women's faces fade to moon,
A glow encompassing lithe movements smooth,
With eyes that razed hot fires all that She dreamed,
As if bright sun had burst into men's hearts,
Alluring all with perfumes patchouli,
An essence musk that no male could refuse,
For She, Goddess Star, called forth warriors,
To die upon her bidden mystery,
That ancient was proclaimed in Stonehedge blood,
A sacrifice of transmutation's vale,
A place where love and birth and death combined,
Into a hope that took souls past dark Hell,-
To small beginnings where all was fulfilled.
| Chandra-Moon chapter 1 . 7/3/2006
This was also very lovely. It made me think of me dreaming, how I want to look, how I want to seem, how I want boys to see me and look at me. I liked the image of "scissor legs", and your imagery all around, though I didn't like using 'Cross rather than Across. It just bugs me. Maybe: There, Across/the room.
I liked this, though. Keep writing.
| mezzie chapter 1 . 6/29/2006
a lot can happen in a second or two : )I thought 'humanity' was an interesting choice of word though, gives things a twist, considering everything else in the piece is very physical.
| Aslan Israel chapter 1 . 6/28/2006
everything's so electric, and then the eyes...
Brilliant job telling the story.
| xillbeyourcupid chapter 1 . 6/22/2006
short & captured the moment when you see someone you like staring at you very well.
| Krys chapter 1 . 6/22/2006
Very provoticative and well worded poem. I really liked this. Every woman loves that moment where you see what you want sitting there and when you approach they so obviously return the desire.