It was well-worth my three minutes of supposed sleeping ;) and the lenght was good :).

That was definitely worth three minutes of sleep. (I might not feel the same way tomorrow though). Thanks for that though.

Amazing.

I know it's a short story but I really think it should've been longer. But it might just be because of my love of description. I think you shoud've described more to the characters and thoughts and everything. In the beginning it was a good start but it just became fast paced and lacking in detail. The story plot I think is pretty rad and I would love to hear more thoughh.

Nice shot. But I would've made a little changes here and there. But it's your style and you did quite well. But I didn't like the "urg". It's even weirder when you repeated it. Maybe something should be done on that. And try not to use: "And next thing I knew his lips were on mine". It sounded kind of emotionless. And from the part: 'If anything Keith's smirk only grew larger and he leaned down to breathe into my ear, "Only if you lead me, princess. I hate you."' to the next sentence "And next thing I knew his lips were on mine..." was a huge leap, like there's a huge gap not filled. There are more to point out but it will take me the whole day to correct every mistake. Other than that, the plot is fine. Keep it up. )

Cute _

-Aria

Cute. Good writing, no grammatical mistakes as far as I'm concerned...OH! At the beginning, it says you're instead of your. That's right. I went there. *head bobby snappy thing*

Kay. CHOCOLATE TIME! :D

i think you should definitely continue this story. i think you should write about what she will do...PLEASE UPDATE!

pleasse do we get an ending?

please?

if i bribe you with the chocolate you gave me, will you message me and tell me what you think the ending would've been?

i beg you.

D

xoxox

I enjoyed this because it was cute and satiric, something I need at the moment. There is one thing that I found chopped up your story, and that was the parentheses(is that the right tense?). They seemed to abruptly halt the flow of the story, though they did bring more comedy to the piece. I think instead of parentheses, you should just add a dash - like this - as an aside, or even add the comment as a sentence in itself. The ending was a little ambiguous, and I didn't quite understand what her intentions were, or how she dropped all her ills against him with a small kiss, I still enjoyed this one. Thanks for the read :)

i actually thought it was very cute. short and sweet and to the point, and i like how it left you hanging with a little room for imagination.

~K

this was such a cute one-shot! i think you should turn it into a story, because it has major potential. but i dont understand why keith kissed her exactly...can you clear that up?

Campus Cafe. lol. That's so freakin true! I think we actually have one of those here. . .

Okay, yes, this was worth my 3 minutes. It was halarious. I am still smiling.

Oh. . . and I noticed that I get some chocolate now right? :)

Keep up the great work and thanks for reviewing Sons and Daughters. I think you said you wanted the soundtrack, so I'll email it to you. _

Sarah

It was good. I hoped that you would give more explanation about it, but the mystery is a good touch. Where's my chocolate? -shifty eyes- So, it was good!

Mwahaha! That was hilarious! And squee-inducing! Loved it!

*giggles* Wonderful. Your dry humor just puts a little bit of an edge on everything. I doubt anyone else could have pulled this story off even half as wonderfull...wonderful job!