Reviews for Denmark's Downfall
With Rhyme and Reason chapter 1 . 7/17/2006
Great. I really love the Hamlet references. Actually, since the poem seems to be one big huge Hamlet reference, I suppose I like the whole poem.

"Seeing rank and rotten things, / Brothers, unlces killing kings, / Murderers with mothers married, / Daughters drowned and fathers buried." Those are some very good lines, there. Your rhyming is enviable, really, and your rhythm is both flowing and sharp at the same time.

I just finished reading 'Hamlet' for my university Shakespeare course. What an incredible play, yes? I still can't decide what I think of Hamlet as a character. Part of me wants to hate him and his delay, but part of me also feels unbelievably sorry for him.

What's that smell?"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."Indeed.

Well done.

J
Dawn's-End chapter 1 . 6/28/2006
I think you mean murderers in line 7 instead of murders... besides that there aren't any obvious problems. I think you have a bit of a parallel structure error in line 6: "brothers, uncles, killing kings." I'm not sure that the second comma is necessary as it seems to imply that the king is doing the killing... but hey, if I looked at "The Wasteland" long enough, I'd find problems with it too... it's certainly good and I like the end of it (as odd as it seems to write about one's own death in the first person past tense... which ironically is perfectly plausible in this particular play.)