I loved this :)

Actually, I didn't find this that cliche. I think it actually happens in real life, maybe harder and longer to admit the feelings, but yeah.

Very good story. But what was Melissa really doing in the apartment?

Aw so cute!

xx

Ali

Oh yay! I like this. A lot. That's the thing with cliches- they're okay so long as you can pull them off well. And you certainly have! D

gulistanlik

WOW. this is sweet!

Nicely done.

I really liked the story, but wanted to let you know that you combined two words in the seventh paragraph.

aww. love it but would have been better if you added the kiss

:D Awh! Heart melting.

Aww, that was sweet.

Ah, a wonderful romance. It doesn't matter if it's cliche, it's still wonderfully romantic and a tearjerker.

Aw, how cute! ... And cliche, which in my book isn't a bad thing. I love cliches )

I think Katie's inner turmoil was excellently portrayed. You really captured the nervousness that, of course, is oh-so annoying. Katie also reminded me of myself... especially with the whole "optimism wasn't her forte" D... that's totally me.

Not only the above, but the story was well-written. Yeah. I can't really think of anything else to say. So I'll just go now. Keep writing! )

Cute.

I liked the constant stream of thoughts and the portrayal of her inner struggle. I thought the descriptions flowed well...almost effortlessly. Very nice.

Some formatting errors with two words sticking together. Maybe a fictionpress problem...

When Katie finally reached Bryan's apartment, I was surprised by the way they interacted with each other. While it seemed like Katie was pretty sure that Bryan liked her too...the way Bryan acted towards her seemed a little too affectionate for Katie to be insecure about his feelings towards her...does this make any sense? Also, Katie's jealousy of Melissa...from her descriptions of Bryan and Melissa's get togethers, it seems like Katie had a reason to be jealous...but Bryan's anger towards Melissa for forgetting her purse made me think that it was obvious that he didn't like her at all...and I didn't really understand why Katie still felt threatened by Melissa.

To me, the ending was unexpected. I thought that there would be some sort of two way confession and I was surprised by Katie's sudden aggression.

Nice.

That was awesome. It was probably one of the best, if not THE BEST one-shot I have ever read. :)

This was FANTASTIC! I loved it. Perfect. (Well, maybe you need a proof-reader, but the writing and the story itself were PERFECT.) )