|Reviews for No One's Choice|
| Lccorp2 chapter 1 . 7/2/2006
T'alnoth of the Gold Flight:
Primarily spelling, grammatical, and words in place where others should have been "seize" for "cease", "soar" for "sore". Weed these out, please-yes I know everyone's guilty of them, but that's no excuse to leave them in.
-SHOW, don't TELL. While it may be all right to tell things like the colour of someone's hair, skin or eyes, please don't tell me thinks like "intelligent eyes". You want to show someone being intelligent? Show him figuring out how to escape from the Dark Lord's Legions of Terror. Double that if said character later does something stupid; I'll be laughing from the skies.
-Blood loss weakens. A major, major wound should have almost immediate consequences, like slowness, dizziness, and inability to remain on one’s feet. Bleeding like that for so long as you describe, the woman should have died long ago.