Loved this short. Got a dark feel about it, and it sucks you right into the moment, giving a very clear and personal account of the characters. Can't really find anything to criticize here, great work.

I suspect that "No will you look to the voids of space" should be "Nor..."

You clearly excell at the short short story. While there's no real plot here, I don't find it lacking. This is all about character.

Honestly, I can't offer you much critique here. The voice is clear and interesting. I see no clear places for additions or removals.

You should consider submitting this to the horror mags. Shorter stories tend to be easier to sell because its easier for editors to find room for them.

Good luck and keep writing.