Reviews for On Air
Aretice N. Treader chapter 19 . 8/6/2014
That's really sweet of Raph... that he wants Lena to be happy even though he's still heartbroken. I think I can see where this story is going, but I could be completely wrong. I think Eileen grew bored with Raphael after they started seeing less of each other, but that's just my opinion. Anyway, I didn't see any mistakes in your grammar or anything like that. Great job! I love the flashback, too.
Aretice N. Treader chapter 18 . 7/17/2014
So, it wasn't public and Raphael didn't say he was straight, but I was almost right! Okay, back to all seriousness. I think Ryan will help Mario get over Raphael very quickly, if this chapter is any indication. I didn't really see any mistakes in this chapter. This chapter was well done.
Aretice N. Treader chapter 17 . 7/17/2014
I'm really just taking a wild guess, but I think Raphael is going to publicly break up with Mario saying that he decided he's actually straight and that Mario spends too much time on Ryan. I really have no idea, though, because your characters are always full of surprises. I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
Aretice N. Treader chapter 16 . 7/17/2014
Raphael's plan will most likely (practically definitely) fail. And a lot of people will probably be hurt and confused. I hope everything gets sorted out. Anyway, I didn't see any mistakes or anything like that in this chapter. Great job!
Aretice N. Treader chapter 15 . 7/17/2014
Don't worry, I psychoanalyze my own characters, too. So... that's part of what happened. That really isn't what I expected. I feel so sorry for Lena. The entire experience would have scarred me for life, too. During Lena's flashback, I found a missing t in "thought" and a random (or not so random?) "her" at the end of a sentence. Otherwise, this chapter was very well written and really eye-opening.
Aretice N. Treader chapter 14 . 7/17/2014
I think that Eileen probably cheated on Raphael. I think Ryan does sort of miss Mario's affections, if only because he's used to it. I have to agree with Mario; cookies do work magic. I didn't notice any mistakes in this chapter. I thought this chapter was... interesting, to say the least.
Aretice N. Treader chapter 13 . 7/17/2014
I'm not sure if this is one of those stories in which Raphael ends up gay and with Mario or Raphael finally tells Mario that he's straight and everyone gets mad at Raphael and then finally do (or don't) make up at the end. I'm leaning towards the latter, to be quite honest. So, Lena is half Japanese and half Irish. That's a very interesting combination. I like it. This was a great chapter.
Aretice N. Treader chapter 12 . 7/17/2014
Dani is really creepy and weird. At first, I thought she was just a brainless but generally nice girl, but now I'm sure of the complete opposite. There were a couple of formatting issues (such as missing spaces), but it's probably not your fault. This chapter was okay, even if it's a filler chapter.
Aretice N. Treader chapter 11 . 7/17/2014
You're sort of... an evil writer. In a completely good way. I wonder how this date will go... if Raphael's dating experiences so far are any indication. I hope Ryan finds a way to get over Andy or maybe she'll change her mind. Probably not. I liked this chapter. It was really good.
Aretice N. Treader chapter 10 . 7/17/2014
That's a... different approach to proving he's straight. I don't think Raphael thought that through. Poor Mario... Raphael is inadvertently leading him on. Who is this "her" that Raphael thinks of at the end of the chapter? I suppose it's Eileen because he can't say her name and Lena was already mentioned, but I'm not sure. Anyway, I didn't see any mistakes in this chapter. Great job! I was just wondering, does Raphael have a roommate?
Aretice N. Treader chapter 9 . 7/16/2014
I, personally, think that Raphael should be with Lena because that's what I believe and Mario might feel guilty for abandoning Ryan. I also don't think Raphael is the kind of guy to choose to be alone by the time the story ends, but something unexpected might happen, so... I'm really excited to read about what happened, and I'm hoping it'll be coming up in the next few chapters. This chapter was really great, and I'm glad Lena was given her chance to shine.
Aretice N. Treader chapter 8 . 7/16/2014
Even if it was a filler chapter, it was fun to read. I can't pull any pranks myself, but I love Lena's childishness and ingenuity. There were a couple of typos, and I think it would be better if you added commas to "terrible horrible no good very bad date" because it's a list of adjectives, but I think that's more of a style preference. Even with those little things, I really enjoyed this chapter.
Aretice N. Treader chapter 7 . 7/10/2014
I'm going to take a "wild" guess and say that all of the terrible misfortunes on the date were caused by Lena. I thought that Lena would take a different approach to trying win over Raphael's heart for Mario, but this way is definitely the most entertaining. Raphael doesn't seem to be as smooth as he tries to be, what with his shock freezing him in place. I actually very much enjoyed this chapter. Please keep up the great work.
Aretice N. Treader chapter 6 . 7/10/2014
I'm not entirely sure what's up with everyone being unsure about Erik Hammond, but I'm sure (or I hope) that it will be revealed soon in upcoming chapters. I'm really interested in how the characters will be developing because they're so fun to read about. I really enjoyed this chapter.
Aretice N. Treader chapter 5 . 7/10/2014
I appreciate the different perspectives of the same scene because I like knowing each character's motives for doing things, and you switch between characters very well. This chapter was a good one.
525 | « Prev Page 1 2 3 4 5 12 .. Last Next »