|Reviews for Spiraling down into greatness|
| rage of aquarius chapter 1 . 7/26/2008
this is quite brilliant. my favorite lines are: "(help stop a hate murder? kid we’re not to blame/we fight our own wars, minorities should do the same)" sarcasm works perfectly in this piece-turning the situation inside out to emphasize its ridiculousness. the imagery is fabulous, as well... "sanitary sky," calculating the value of memories, "propaganda carried in schoolyard jeers," "injected ambiguity," "a blank sunset over an imaginary nation." i picture a lot of the imagery in my head, jumbled all together instead of on separate lines, and i get this mental image of a post-apocalyptic america. very appropriate somehow. i dig it.
| a certain slant of light chapter 1 . 2/15/2008
Wow. The ending is really nice. I love the whole piece but the ending is really nice )
| wywh sb chapter 1 . 6/24/2007
HM...i love the idea, and it's written pretty well, but it loses focus by the end. if you need to break the ryhme scheme, do it. sometimes free verse works best.
| Charming Dice chapter 1 . 9/22/2006
I'd love to give you constructive criticism, but I don't have any. I'm not a real poet, so I don't know what makes a good one. I'll just tell you that I liked this.
| Elf's Cry chapter 1 . 8/29/2006
I love the rhyming and the metaphores. But I think you've done a bit too much to keep the words in order at the end that the writing itself didn't make as much sense as it might if you just stick to your meaning of thoughts. Overall I think it's a great poem though. It is really hard to put such serious issues into surcasm, but I think you've done well.
| Infinity Plus One chapter 1 . 8/27/2006
This is very true and very beautiful! The last line is punchy and the "..." adds the way, thank you very much for the reviews.A GCSE is a public exam in a subject which goes on your record and can have some impact on which university you go to, but A Levels are the main decision-making exams. I have taken 9 're added to my author alert list. :)
| trash can art chapter 1 . 8/25/2006
Undoubtly strange - I upload all my stories as Word documents.
Many spectacular moments, especially the parenthesized bit; that I liked.
However, I felt the ending was a bit forced. You became too conscious of your rhyming [which worked excellently in the beginning] and I think that needs some work.
But I still enjoyed it. )
| rvtolentino chapter 1 . 8/24/2006
very expressive. i like how the rhyming went; it's all-natural. there's a cynical side of me saying that it sounded like a rap that an activist would probably recite, but that's just me, but the eloquence of this poem just pushes the point across.
and thanks for the review, and i hope you'll drop by often. XD
| LIPSTICKFLAMINGOSROCKROLL chapter 1 . 8/20/2006
i love how you speak your mind in this poem its very good.
| Durandel chapter 1 . 8/17/2006
I like how it rhymed, and the poem doesn't bother me none, I don't care about politics.
| FoxyGrampa chapter 1 . 8/11/2006
*sigh* So true. I liked it. n_n It was somewhat hard to figure out where it was going, but it was good none the less. :3
| Pink Sparrow chapter 1 . 8/11/2006
nicely done. The rhyming was done really well and didn't sound forced. The poem was beautiful as well. nice work!
| Noihseret chapter 1 . 8/10/2006
I have yet to read a poem like this. your words flow wonderfully and your style makes me want to keep reading and reading and reading...
write on, rust phoenix!
| Scarlet Black chapter 1 . 7/27/2006
At first I found it hard to get this poem, but once I concentrated and read it over a few times I started to really like it. I think that's a good thing, that it wasn't immediately really obvious or in your face. There are some great lines in here, and I like the title a lot.
| xWhit3StaRx chapter 1 . 7/12/2006
to say i loved it would be an understatement _
great job! D