Reviews for they call it fall for a reason
the naked civil servant chapter 1 . 10/7/2006
that's apocalyptically, tenderly, wonderously gorgeous. burnt sienna& mustard seed... vivid & raw, imagery shivers
sporkofdoom chapter 1 . 9/26/2006
Oh my god.I am in .I'd quote my favorite bits, but that'd be the whole beautiful I'm in awe.
beauty and the breakdown chapter 1 . 9/22/2006
i've read this through several times already and i know it's been a couple of months, but what's good remains good.

i can't get over the fact that it's a simple 61 words, yet it seeps into the consciousness and stays etched there. concise is beautiful, and i love the impression of muted, suppressed sadness.
if sighing chapter 1 . 9/19/2006
yes, it's autumn, and I'm freaking out. It's just a giant tangle of psychology with me when it comes to autumn.

I loved the contrast in the piece. There are parades of leaves against muddy rivers against burials, against mustard seed (mustard seeds!).

And it's lovely
breezy nostrils chapter 1 . 9/15/2006
the symbolism of fall is interesting. nice work.
Chemically Induced chapter 1 . 9/14/2006
ah you make fall sound so ugly-sad-mysterious. which is wonderful; everyone is always going on about how wonderful fall is and how pretty. but i like your ideas more; its called fall for a reason. damn right. "to you and me,/ its just the end of a season." great line.

thanks for the flattering review. im flattered n_n.

love, .
diffident chapter 1 . 8/19/2006
This makes me sad. I'm biased because autumn is my favorite season, but you spelt this out wonderfully. The imagery is so unique. "a parade of leaves, clothed / in their drab autumn coats / burnt sienna and mustard / seed"

marie
eighteen hundred chapter 1 . 8/14/2006
I like this. The image I get of dirt sludging is oddly, very poetic to my mind. Good, good stuff.
poetic abortion chapter 1 . 8/9/2006
Just, purly astounded.

So lovely, so powerful, so amazing.

* Noelle
Aquafied chapter 1 . 8/6/2006
pretty, but i cannot invision rain on such hot now, maybe later.

(thank you for your input. i make a lot of technical errors and partially i believe that is because i do not care. i dont write to be perfect and i dont check my line style, line endings or lengths. i post them how they come out to me and i rarely change them unless i am going further with them.

i thank you still for your tips, they are very helpful. i dont know if i will use them, i am a bit stubborn on trying to think when i write, habbit.)
reluctant writer chapter 1 . 8/3/2006
This is really very good. I like the how it is more of a passive, observational poem, but you really brought it to life. It was the last two lines that got to me: "a burial/ of sorts, to you and me,/ it’s just the end of a season." Just excellent.
Ashes.to.Acid chapter 1 . 8/2/2006
Wow...I'm astounded. This is really beautiful and the format seemed to make it "fall" too. Very vivid and incredible.
crisscross-cat chapter 1 . 8/1/2006
This is really nice! The image is so vivid, and the language is lovely. The only thing I would change is how the first sentence is basically a really long, run-on sentence. But you did a really good job!

And thanks so much for your kind words!
Walk Backwards chapter 1 . 7/26/2006
This is beautiful.

The way you metered the lines so that the sounds of the words wove themselves into the meanings made me smile and wish for fall.

I love this, and I'm putting it in my favorites, because it's totally worth reading over and over.

:)

WB

P.S. Thank you so much for the kind review and the wonderful compliment in your bio. That really means a lot to me. I'm sorry it took me so long to reply.
SeaVoi chapter 1 . 7/23/2006
that last line reallt sets the piece off, its pretty KICKS MAJOR BUTT!
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