|Reviews for Birthday for Two|
| AkaneHime chapter 1 . 10/21
While this is a good concept, more needs to be done to it for it to make sense. At the moment, there are too many issues for the plot to be viable. For example, how did they create genetically identical twins (which would be impossible if they were of the opposite gender)? How did they preserve the babies? How did they transfer the memories? Without information like this, it's left quite a large plot hole and it leaves the audience in the dark.
The second issue lies in your description. Unfortunately, you haven't really used description at all. We don't know what Chris's surroundings look like, what her parents look like or even what she looks like beyond blonde hair and a skirt of unspecified colour. Remember: you can see what's going on. We can't. Therefore, you need to explain what everything looks like to us, preferably using the five senses.
You also have quite a few errors in spelling, punctuation and grammar. You may want to find a beta like myself to help you with that. If you want any help or any more information, please don't be afraid to ask. Good luck. :)
| yaoi ll girl chapter 1 . 10/16/2014
This has a nice idea behind it. It's well thought out and deeply impacting. Great job.
| Revamp chapter 1 . 4/15/2013
I decided to take a break frim Shift to read some of your shorter works. I decided to read this since it had so few reviews and was just a short story. I love tje double life, double gender conceot and what started off asplayful and slice of life turned into something horrifying. It gave meaning to the main character's name.
Well developed and interesting.
| IrishCarBomb chapter 1 . 6/2/2007
Wwow, very good, one of those "makes you think" storys.
| Kirill chapter 1 . 7/16/2006
Wow... That was simply amazing. Great job.