Reviews for The Deceiver
Fairytale Gurl chapter 20 . 6/3/2008
hey this is amazing. i read it in one sitting it was so good! please update soon!
A.V.Mackie chapter 20 . 6/2/2008
Heh, I can't believe I'd complain about anyone's update schedule when I've only put up the first chappy of my story and have never gotten round to adding any more of it. Oh and thar be no suckitude in your story or you, both are of very good quality. :D
Katherine-the-greate chapter 4 . 5/31/2008
what a scary creep. It's interesting that he plans to get more promises from her... and scary
Katherine-the-greate chapter 2 . 5/31/2008
hmm. I wonder where this is going. I would have thought that he would have asked for something very different... i can't think of a great use for her with that kind of promise.
Katherine-the-greate chapter 1 . 5/31/2008
that's pretty cool. He does seem sort of demented to hit her head agianst the glass like that. nice work.
Serai Rhifune chapter 20 . 5/31/2008
This is SO GOOD. I literally almost had a fit when I realized this was the last updated chapter. Eek!

But honestly, darling, update soon. This story is extraordinarily (sp?) good, and I'm very impressed!
Ellie Nelson chapter 20 . 5/30/2008
So your comment about high school was a little alarming, because it told me you're only a year older than me. Aah! Looks like I've got to get my head in the game! My stories (don't read the ones on this site, btw. ugh. major works in progress.) are all way less developed and...well...good. So maybe a lot can change in a year. I sure hope so.

Nice to see Alex staying sober, at least for a short while. I think I've said this already, but I don't drink, so stories with entire chapters of drunk narrators make me a little uneasy. Hehe, it's also fun that drinking will make things more dangerous, though. It fuels the story, and you're showing Alex as more responsible. Also you're not glorifying all these drinking teens, which is cool.

I liked Rachel's line at the beginning of the chapter, too. Snarky characters can be so fun.

And not much else to say about this chapter. Short, yes, but it's nice to see you're alive. Also, whee, I'm reviewing immediately after reading this time! Isn't that cool?
Ellie Nelson chapter 19 . 5/30/2008
Yay, Kiyura! I was psyched when I saw the chapter 20 alert sitting in my e-mail!

So I'm going to do my convoluted thing of seeing a story has been updated, not reading the new chapter, but instead making myself review the last chapter I've read. Then I'll let myself read the new one. It's an incentive thing.

There isn't too much going on right now, but I'm glad Alex is interacting with Valin again. Valin's getting violent, so things are getting interesting.

Also, characters like Valin are alternately a joy to watch and really frustrating. It's this whole attitude of (correct me if I'm wrong), "I really like/love/at least admire you right now. Since I like you so much, I've decided to change you, so that you better fit my ideals, so I can like you even more!"

It's fun because I'm always hoping they'll come to their senses, then frustrating because the girl they're with inevitably goes along with them for at least a little while and changes herself. Then sometimes it's fun again because the girl might realize how much she's let herself change, and drama will ensue. Or it's just really frustrating because the story ends with the girl forever changed, the two of them together, and everything sort of unresolved. (I usually lull myself into liking those endings anyway, because hey, at least they're together, right? But it's really wrong in principle.)

Also, jlr is reviewing this story too! Holla! (Not that we really know each other. Whatever.)

So I'll read chapter 20 sometime tonight. I resolve to review soon, but I probably won't. I'll be around and reading, though! Keep up the good work!
bored chapter 20 . 5/30/2008
keeps those chapters rolling in, they're great!
Evangeline Curls chapter 20 . 5/29/2008
I am officially addicted to this story...I swear i probably won't rest until i read the end of it! I really want to know more about Valin. I mean what it he? Is he a demon? I kinda feel bad for brooke, but at the same time i detest complainers so she kinda needed to hear it. I never realized alex was so cold until she said that to Brooke. I can totally see the similarities b/t Alex and Valin now.

Anyway, i can't wait to read more! plz plz update soon.
Evangeline Curls chapter 13 . 5/29/2008
I've just started reading ur story and i must say that it is absolutly amazing! I'm almost addicted to it.
Bearr chapter 20 . 5/29/2008
Your free to read the ones I have posted, however they probably wont be very good.

I've writen better in class at bored times.

Once again another great chapter.

You just keep me wanting to read more, and thats the best way to keep it up. This would be where my stories normally take a turn for the worse...but eh, I'll get better...just need the inspiration. To be honest, reading your story makes me want to write more...:)

can't wait for the next one.
jlr chapter 20 . 5/28/2008
The chapter didn't contain much, but it was good. I actually wanted to comment on the money thing. I completely agree with you, she isn't dropping hundreds of dollars on random things, so there is no reason to think about it. I don't even think it requires an explanation, as the cardinal rule about having money is not talking about it. As it stands, I would say that she is from an upper middle class family. They're comfortable, but not absurdly wealthy.

If you want to convey more wealth than that do it in brands. Her watch could be Tiffany's or her vodka Grey Goose or Cristall. I completely understand if brands aren't the way you want to go and I think you are doing a really good job of displaying her wealth without making it the object of the story, it was just a suggestion.

As it stands, you do a far better job than authors who constantly refer to the wealth of their characters. Generally, it's just distracting to the story. Since it doesn't seem like the money in Alex's family is of any real consequence, don't get too hung up on it. ~jlr
maidengarnet chapter 20 . 5/28/2008
See, this is why I don't like people who drink... or rather, people who drink to get drunk. They can't stand teetotalers because they know they're idiots and want everyone else around them to be an idiot too (sorry sorry, I don't drink and can't even stand the smell of alcohol, which translates into a LOT of pressure from seemingly EVERYONE around me. Damn college students)
Faded Soulfire chapter 20 . 5/28/2008
Wow, that was a quick update. Well, I guess considering I only reviewed yesterday. It was on the short side, but I don't mind. What I'm bothered by is Taran's advice to Alex, about watching her back. I'm guessing he means it in the sense 'you're pretty and guys want to take advantage of that' or something along those lines. Yet, I'm left with the feeling that it isn't quite that. And it's rather unsettling.

Also, Alex snapping at Brooke was a pretty shitty thing to do. I suppose she has a lot on her mind...what with Valin and all, but she was kind of mean. Hopefully she redeems herself because she isn't my favorite person right now.

Oh and onto other things. I've been to two BN concerts. I've never been able to stay long enough to meet the guys, but after you see a band like bn live, it's hard not to have high expectations when you see another. I still haven't been to a concert that tops Brand New. (The energy, the passion, the feeling of happiness cranked up a few notches.) Damn high expectations. (I still love, love, love them though.) And you are clearly awesome for recognizing and appreciating BN. You are a true fp rarity.

Faded Soulfire
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