Reviews for The Deceiver
Ghost n' Ghoul Girl chapter 17 . 6/20/2010
ok, i just wanted to say this, if someone came up and asked me what my favorite part is in your story, i would say your chapter titles. i just love them, my favorite one so far is Your Hand is Face Up. i don't really know why i love them so much, but i do. their different, and they alone get you interested in the chapter because your like, cool chapter title, so how will the chapter itself relate? and its so cool, because you don't just go and tell how it relates, but the reader has to figure it out themselves. keep up the good work. and by the way, i LOVE the story itself so far too. for now, i will read on!
DangerousFeamles chapter 24 . 6/14/2010
I love it, please continue.
artificial destiny chapter 24 . 5/29/2010
im glad you've kept it up for so long. i think writing this has probably helped the development of your style among other things.

thanks for writing it. it was a lot of fun to read.

if there is a revision, i will be all up on it :)

good luck!
Madison Clarke chapter 24 . 5/23/2010
i was intrested in the story. i agree there are things that need to be more thought through. if its published i would deffinatly buy a copy...
Mary Perkins chapter 3 . 5/13/2010
You say that the main character is wearing 200 hundred something seven jeans earlier in the story when she is dressing for school, but in your description of her and her two friends you say they are all wearing capris. I was wondering if that was a mistake or if seven's came in capris.
Dark Hime chapter 24 . 3/20/2010
i felt the beginning was if that interfers with your new plot, but the beginning was solid and is the main thing i remember in this four year haitus. and by beginning i mean her introduction to valin before the plane crash. That whole chapter was memorable.
Fightingrose chapter 24 . 3/7/2010
Ok, I'm going to say that you've totally surprised me with this story. I wasn't expecting the depth and intricacy you've brought to the plot and the characters, so way to go! I can't wait to see what you do next!

Read on,

Fightingrose
anon chapter 24 . 2/26/2010
I like the character developement that you have going here. Also the main character's thought process is mechanical, but very believable-I know people who think like that all the time. Good job! :)
Sure as the Dawn chapter 24 . 2/14/2010
*siggh* I was really liking this story. Good luck :)
Lisaflowers chapter 24 . 2/12/2010
hmm. I understand your judgment here. Going back to an old story is very hard, esp. when it's been years since you've written a chapter. But what I do think is, you should at least finish it, almost like a draft. Like, I just stumbled upon your story now, read all the chapters, and I really did like it, love!

But yes, an author generally finds flaws in their own writings. So my advice to you, is not to change so much, because the concept & plot of your story is awesome! Also, another thing, put 'discontinued' or 'hiatus' up on the summary, so people see that. Generally, people (like myself) don't like to read stories that are not going to be finished, usually a reader likes to finish what they are reading, esp. if it is a good story, like yours!

I DO think you should take a shot at finishing it, but it is your call, and keep in mind that it is very hard to get published these days. But hey, that didn't stop Meg Cabot from being declined 8 or so times before she was finally published!

Anyway, just trying to say that I did enjoy this story for the time that it was active, and to keep up the amazing writing. :)

-L.
Slideshow chapter 24 . 2/9/2010
ALLISON. I come back to FP only for you, my love! ;)

I'm sad to hear about whats happened but I totally and completely understand. You and I are in the same boat, my friend. Except you dont take three years to get around to updating or at least informing your readers whats going on.

Yes, I'm sad you won't be updating, but I'm more thrilled and happy about the fact that you're planning on reworking this story and aim for publishing. Good for you!

I know I have likes and dislikes about this story which youre asking us to state, but I'd have to reread to remember it all. Off the top of my head? I like the MC. I like the fact that she can be tough and vulnerable and when she's vulnerable it feels more honest and real.

I like Valin, of course, although I can't remember too many characteristics about him (I'm sorry! It's been so long :( )but my opinion/advice is; don't make him a single persona type of lead guy/villain. What I'm referring to is the typical FP male lead. Give him depth, make him more than one sided, give him quirks, make him MEMORABLE. In short? Make him kick Edward Cullen's a_ss.

:D

Hahahahah. All right, idk if any of this was helpful, but I want you to know that it has been enjoyable and entertaining while it lasted. Rewrite it and make it your best. I'm rooting for you :)
Stahlut chapter 24 . 2/6/2010
I think, and this is rather general, that I the bits where Valin would just pop up when she was doing soemthing where good. I mean I liked it. And I wish I could say more, cause there where a few things that I liked, but for the life of me I can't seem to think of them. If I do, I'll get back to you, anyway good luck.
Cecilyatheart chapter 24 . 2/6/2010
I have re-read this story again to refamiliarize myself with this and just WOW! The story is going on a crazy bend, a far cry from the high school parties and social drama, but it has me still going. The characters are just so wonderful. I almost dislike Alex as much as I like her. You are still doing a wonderful job. Valin being vulnerable is good writing and I can't wait to read more.
violet-eyez chapter 24 . 2/5/2010
hope everything works out for u and you get the book published
A.V.Mackie chapter 24 . 2/4/2010
Good luck with the rewrite, I hope for your sake I don't get to read it for free. :D
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