I've noticed that you're emphasising the six gods a lot. Hmm... wonder what, if any, role they're playing in this new version.

I like this two-sided plot thing, with Sora and everything that's happening back at the manor. I think it makes the stort seem a lot fuller, anchored in a way. You don't just throw away the events that happened in the beginning, you continue them. It reinforces the idea that there is still a world beyond Sora's new life. And it adds some suspense - is Byron going to find her? What will happen if and when he does? Etc.

Nice description of Volcrian. I especially like the detail about the nervous tick. You can just tell he's lost a few (more) marbles since Etienne's death

It might just be Fictionpress messing with your formating (because they certainly like doing that to me) but you might want some sign of separation between Volcrian's scene and Sora's scene. It's obviously changed, but when you make a clear distiction (an extra space of whatever) it helps my mind end one scene and start the next one. It's like if there was no yellow light at an intersection. Screech, slam, ow-chies. But, that's probably just a preference.

Aw, did you skip the scene of the original prologue. Poop. I really liked it. "Volcrian had done his own amount of killing since his brother's death, but no, that was not evil - that was righteous, justified, in the name of vengeance. Anyone who housed or protected a murderer such as Viper deserved the worst fate" just doesn't do his madness justice!

How did I not notice that his name is Dorian now? Wow... I swear I always saw Delorian. That's really weird... But, at least he's still the same lovable perv he always is. And Crash is all dark and mysterious (the best kind. ::wink::) Love it!

i love this story, of course. i read it before when it was finished and it became my favorite ficpress story and actually still is and i practically cried when i found out it wasn't on anymore and for some reason i cant read it on your website so when i saw it back on here, though in a slightly different version, you can imagine that i pretty much leaped for joy :) but anyways, i love this story and i really like the new version, i just hope you continue it because if i dont have SOME version then i think ill just freak out...so...please update fast b/c ill be checking like every day to see if you do! (no pressure, of course:))

Sweet, I'm an inspiration. Now at least my procrastinating on my English assignment seems worth it now. Haha, I wonder if my professor would take that excuse: "But I was too busy being inspiring to do my Shakespeare essay!"

I just noticed this little detail, that I should've mentioned before. In chapter one, just as Sora storms out of her father's office, you said she "flipped her blonde hair". But, her hair was up. When I envision someone flipping their hair, it's usually down, you know? You probably missed that little detail, but I suppose that's one of the good things about having someone as anal as me (anal as I?) reading this.

"It wasn't good to ride horses without brushing them." - I never knew that. Then again, I've never ridden a horse. Good to know Sora keeps up on her equestrian knowledge. :-)

I liked how you let us know about Sora's beauty through Delorian and Byron rather than her thinking about it.

"The staircase that the Lord had fallen down was a narrow one, practically wide enough for two to fit past each other" - Do you mean "barely wide enough"? Or "just wide enough"?

So Byron is going after her. Sweet. The more complications the better, I always say. At least in a story plot. I suppose someone has to go looking for Sora. Afterall, they can't just forget about her. And you made him a slimy gold-digger. Even sweeter. I hope Crash/Delorian/Burn/a combo of the three get to kick his patootie later.

~Ley

Now that you've started redoing everything, I'm noticing little holes/inconsistencies that were in the previous version that you've cleared up in this one. Hindsight is always 20/20 I suppose... ::sigh:: Well at least you caught them!

I like the tension you created between Sora and her father. What a jerk. Makes is a little easier to just take off. And Sora has a lot more fire in her this time around. Confronting her father seems like a very Sora thing to do, rather than just kind of sneaking off in the middle of the party. I also liked the connection between Sora and Lilly. I have a feeling that this new-and-improved Cat's Eye is going to be more developed character-wise... though it was already so great before... geez, how could you make it any better!

::cough cough:: Well, as I mentioned before, I'm lovin' it! Please post soon!

...Whoa! A new prologue. I am quite excited to read the work you've been doing on this story. But, I hope you don't completely do away with the scence of the previous prologue - it illustrated Volcrian's madness so beautifully, I really liked it.

Review time!

You said toward the beginning "By the sickly green poison that dripped from his throat, he knew exactly what kind of assassin it was". But then later: "A true Human would have collapsed and died from the wound, but not this assassin - and it was then that Volcrian began to suspect." I know the story, which is the only reason it struck me, but if Volcrian recognized the poison, wouldn't he have know that this assassin wasn't just an ordinary human *before* he nearly sliced him in half.

I like how you explain why the other two wolfies are helping the assassin. It was a minor hole in the plot that I never caught the last time. Haha, this is difficult; I'm so used to reviewing stories I don't know, it feels weird to talk about this story like I don't know what happens, when I actually do... Well, I suppose I'll just be more able to catch the little things. :-)

I am so excited to read this! Yay! I'd jump up and down if my roommates weren't already looking at me funny for the little outburst that escaped my lips when I saw you'd redone this. Please post soon and often!

~Ley~

Wow! I read this on your website-what happened? It's not finished here, but it's finished there...urgh it's so annoying how you randomly disappear and not reappear for long periods of time. Anyway, please update soon!

this story is pretty much my favorite on ficpress and i was heartbroken when i found it was gone. i couldn't find it on your homepage either, so i started to despair that i would never see it again. So...you can guess that I'd be SUPER happy to discover that youve started it again. I can't wait for the rest- plz update soon!

Waitt a minute. Is there some new stuff here or are you just re-posting it. . Just wondering. It's been a really long time since I've read it so I am not too sure.

0.0 that was...interesting...anyways, update again soon!

creepy! but good. update soon

...I feel so stupid right now. I couldn't find a "submit" button or something that looked like a submit button on the review page, so I'm going to post it here.

o-o-O-O-o-o

Well, I know what you said, about how you'd appreciate it if we could review at the end of every chapter, but I have to tell you that I won't review unless I can be helpful. I see no point otherwise. (Sorry if I sound harsh. I'm not trying to be, I just don't want to waste your time.)

Anyway, the prologue is a little confusing, and while I haven't read the first chapter yet, I'm going to assume that you're going to go straight to the main character's wedding and not answer any qestions that might have been raised by the prologue, right?

Well, we know he's a bad guy, (the sick and twisted-ness of him is very well portrayed) but we don't know who this guy he's after is, and we don't know why he's after him. It's not even entirely clear if he was the one who killed the parents, or if it was the guy he was after (I'm assuming the assassin.) After he kills the kid, it becomes a little more clear, but I still think that it needs to be made at least a little more obvious who killed the kid's parents. After reading the summary, readers come in with certain expectations, and I for one thought that this crazy villian guy was the assassin. By the end of the prologue, though, I'm pretty much convinced he's not, but... ahh, I think I'm rambling.

My point: Overall a good, un-cliched start to the story, but please make it a little more clear who killed the kid's parents.

wow. kinda scary... wow

Whoa. Nicely done. You really captured a feeling and an aura to him that I like. Beautiful wording. I'm very much looking forward to the next chapter.

Thayu

I love this story, I'm so glad you're starting it again. I can't wait to read more.

oh lord, you're back! i was so surprised when i couldn't find this... and it mysteriously dissapeared off my favourites list. and yes, i found your account somehow and saw that it was filled with all the things you mentioned. eep, sorry about your boyfriend and all the shit he did to you. i don't know what i'd do to him 'cause that it the epitome of idiotic. eh. hope this is goes well... and i do love this 'novel'. it's one of the best completed fantasy fics on this site... and since i have to run now, take care chica. byee.