Hm, I thought she was going to jump from side to side along the walls or stretch her body parallel to the ground like in the commercials. (If you've ever seen the Tyson commercial, lol.) And that would be a bit funny if she did that using her staff to reach the other side of the wall.

Plus, I've totally forgotten about the owner of the shop and didn't realize the similarities. Cool.

It could have been a bit better if they fought bandits first, and then meeting up with those two.

Awesome fight scene though. But I was thinking that "sure it could be coincidental that there's a nother girl named Sora, has a similar staff, and has similar daggers from before," (assuming she used the ones she got with Crash)

but when she's on the gound wouldn't her hood have fallen off?

But yeah. Loved the way his eyes deepened a shade. :P

Hm, her mother's explanation about how the Cat's Eye would absorb you is, well, a bit unsatisfying. Actually it was okay, but it's just the way you worded it.

So this chapter. Whoo ho. I didn't get any signals that there could have been a physical relationship between Burn and Crash, fufufufuu. That's funny though.

And the awkwardness when Crash entered the room was funny too until he explained why he was in the room. D:

Keep up the great work.

D: Dorian! But what really happened between Dorian and Sora during the whole hugging scene?

But still, Dorian, that rogue. Ahh, at least it was a glorious death. Somewhat.

And it was surprising when her mother wasn't surprised that she saw her daughter after many years.

"The trees had leaves on them, albeit sorry excuses for leaves"

I find this to be a bit redunant. We already know that you're talking about the leaves, unless you like repeating things. :)

"Sora watched as Burn got up on the other side of him"

Doesn't that mean that Burn is sitting next to Crash? But Sora is between them.

"no affect"

Err, no effect?

-

Oh man, the undedited version was that long? I would rather read that than something short. D: *hugs HP books*

Seriously. And I mean seriously. I read and I laughed, I read and I giggled, and then I read and I made this odd sound that was a mixture of giggles, laughter, snorts, gurgles, and the rolling R sound. Which resembled a horse neighing, so I am a bit disturbed. Haha.

Anyway, awesome story! Although some parts were a bit confusing, like how Sora and Crash could barely move through the stairwell, and yet Sora managed to pass him, and how Burn was able to go through the stairwell as well. But maybe they are all different sizes?

You should make the "I'm not a simpleton" a running gag, maybe. Ease some tension. And man, what's happening with Crash and Dorian? :P

I do hope you update, but if you don't, I completely understand. Congratulations on getting your book published!

I am so in love with your story so far! The sexual tension between Crash and Sora is killing me! Haha I'm glad to hear that you're getting it published. Make sure you let me know when the book comes out, because I'm for sure buying a copy!

I love this tension between...well, everyone, so much! And I know I keep saying that, but it makes me so happy inside for some reason. My taste in stories I suppose is to never know everything that is going on. Gives me something to figure out while I read. But anyway, I like this chapter, and I wanted to smack Laina for saying what she did to Sora! That's just asking for it. :-) And if you can't keep uploading, then I'll just buy the book, and keep reviewing for you another way!

Great Chappie.

Aww man! I thought I had it all figured out [ I was almost positive since about three or four chapters ago that Crash was a fire dracian because of how he's always warm and he couldn't swim (plus I figured you haven't done anything with the dracians yet for a reason, like not wanting to give Crash away) and I was completely ecstatic this chapter when he started talking about how he doesn't mix well with water, then you had to spring the REAL dracians on us! No fair! P

I'm kinda torn about the relationship of Sora and Crash. On one hand, I'm VERY thankful that you didn't jump right into something between them like tons or other fictions that you find on this site do, even though you do give us readers a pretty good idea where it's heading. But the romantic fangirl in me can't wait for them to kiss ] Crash is as adorable as he can be!

um there was something else I wanted to say I swear...

O yeah! About the mapmaker thing, it's not that impossible for him to have a map of the swamp. I think you mentioned earlier that the confusion spell was only added after Soras mom forced the Catlins there, and the guy is definitely older then her so he could mapped it out before the spell was put in. so not completely impossible.

Laina is a harpy right? I was pretty sure before, but after the 'I KNOW that Crash is a dracian' thing happened I'm starting to doubt, because Laina (I think) had brown eyes and all the other harpies so far had been having purple eyes. She's really starting to annoy me, but I think you might be doing that on purpose so I won't try to get you to change her. I'll feel bad for Burn, though, if you do have something nasty in mind for her. poor guy!

So yeah. This story is completely worth the three days it took to read and two late homework assignments I missed from staying up all night wanting to get 'just one more chapter THEN I'll go to bed' D Please update!

Yay! Another chapter! I am so caught up in this story, and am definately interested in the book. I need to know what happens! lol. I await the rest, either on here or in the book, and I hope to read it very soon.

Interesting... I like where this has got to, even if it slows down a little in the middle.

Really love what you've done with Crash's character, and the developing relationships are well portrayed.

Not bad at all ;)

Erisah

"Sora could tell she was trying hard to bare it"

Don't you hate words that sound the same but are spelt differently? In this sentence the right word is "bear" not "bare", as in trying to endure something, as opposed to uncovering it.

I'm nitpicking, but nonetheless...

"she slammed her heal into his foot "

If you're selling this chapter as is in your book, just letting you know that you've printed a misspelling- the word in this context should be "heel".

Otherwise, there are specific aspects of this story that I love- the description and characterisation for the most part being one of them.

You have a slight case of too much information, however. As fascinating as all the mechanics behind the magic and the history of the Races in this story are, you have to ask yourself- which parts do the readers NEED to know? Unfortunately, a few of your earlier chapters read a little like they've been overpadded, and don't really add much to the overall storyline- in particular, some of the parts about Lorianne and Sora tend to drag. You might want to work on that.

I'm loving the action though. Nice.

Erisah

Chilling... I take it that Volcrian is the evil interest in this story. Yeesh. Nice descriptive language by the by. I loved your tears of blood line, and the whole "he loved children" sent shivers down my spine.

Going to be VERY happy when this sadistic son of a mutant boar gets his.

Nice work, and I can't wait to read more :)

Erisah