Absolutely beautiful! This is easily the BEST story I have read in quite awhile! I seriously can't think of anything to criticize, and that's very unusual for me! I'm definitely going to be purchasing this book when it's out and ready, but I still hope you post the rest of the chapters here. I really like the plot development, and the characters are very well portrayed, with very unique personalities! I, myself, quite like Crash. Keep up the good work!

P.S. You're making my own writing (which I haven't posted ) look very poor indeed!

...'Looks like we’re at the docks,” Sora said; the two had been walking quietly, each lost in their own thoughts, but she was tired of the silence.'...We're missing quotation marks here, at the very beginning. The 'Sora said;...walking quietly.' may be better split into two sentences.

...'Sora grinned, interested in this information, and touched his hand teasingly. “Really?” she asked, “But you don’t know how to swim?” She wasn’t sure what had made her ask that exact question, but she felt Crash grow uncomfortable next to her, and regretted her choice of words.'...I'm not quite sure but I think the speech is meant to be in a new paragraph.

...'Sora shrugged nonchalantly, though she knew he noticed her discomfort. Maybe he had noticed from the beginning. “If you want,” she answered.

The two stood up to head inside, and the wind began to gust with unaccustomed strength. Now Sora was visibly shivering. They started to walk down the docks toward their hotel, but Sora’s legs were almost numb from the cold bench.'...See above.

That's great. Again I've picked up next to nothing. Great work! Although now I'm sort of out of business.

Nice forum, by the way.

~citanuL A*

Laina seems like trouble hm... Good luck with everything too!

Wow, another wonderful chapter! I'm not a big fantasy reader, but I LOVE your characters (especially Sora and Crash, but Dorian and Burn are up there) and the history of your world. Keep it up, you're doing great!

ooh good again...that's about all i can ever say...it's SO GOOD! lol.

Crash is bugging me! i want to know what he is! its one of those things, i love him So much yet...he confuses the heck out of me! lol. Ah well, he's a walking talking mystery, i can't say i hate it. it makes him much more interesting.

*sigh* well i seriously will be leaping at the computer when i see the link for the book! YAHO!

Good chapter. I sense drama ahead. And Laina is annoying. I agree with Crash - more trouble than she's worth. I'm waiting anxiously for something to happen between Crash and Sora. Hopefully it will be soon!

-Ardy

So, the bath is in the bedroom, right? Wouldn't there be a screen or... something? Certain if it was a two person room. Although, I have to admit, I do adore the awkward sexual tension.

Burn, why oh *why* would you be off spending money when you don't have any to begin with! Geesh! Crash should've taken their money away and hid it all in his cloak-o-mystery.

"It sounds like you're getting a cold. Do you have a sore throat?" - tee hee giggle giggle. _

"Warm squirmy feeling in her stomach" - tee hee giggle giggle X2. I love that feeling, though... ::grin::

Hey, if Sora's hair is wet, and it's so cold out... wouldn't she get sick? Or wouldn't Crash mention something or... something? Eh, I guess they don't exactly have hair dryers. But, she could towel it until it was that still-kinda-wet-but-bascially-dry thing that hair does.

"At first Crash was reluctant to go into the silk and jewelry stores, but his resolve crumbled against her pleading." - Crash? Giving in? My goodness, seeing a girl almost naked really softens a guy up. Or... not. Tee hee giggle giggle x3.

Wow, so Sora really doesn't recognize those obvious features of the shopkeeper as similar to Laina? Or the other shopkeeper in Mayville? And Crash hates all three? Come on, deja vu a little?

How does Crash find Sora after their fight? She's sitting on some random side street, at night, in the shadows. Sora doesn't even know where she is, how the heck does he?

But, I don't care how he does it, because my heart melts for him. "I'm someone you can lean on" ::melts::

"You are the mapmaker, yes? The one they say has traveled across the kingdom and back?” - If Crash knows him, why is he asking?

But, on a higher note, it does make more sense to have the mapmaker here rather than before. Too many familar characters/scenarios- the big guy (Bohden?), the weaponkeeper... the mapmaker is much better as a one-time appearance.

Great chapter! I'm not sure if I like the drama though. Hoping for more action scenes... XD

What happened to your updates!

If you could, do you think you could email me the rest of Cat's eye after chapter 23 because i am DYING to read it and its not here! and its just not as satisfying to read it one update at a time...PLEASE?

also, when is your book coming out? i know you are busy with college and everything, but your story is my solace during boredom and stress and work...PLEASE! RESPOND

zomg. i'm so incredibly chuffed that you've gotten yourself published. i just wanted to congratulate you and say well done, 'cause you really deserve this. this story is amazing, and we'd be honoured just to have this book on our shelves! oh and the cover illustration is to die for, darling. it's gorgeous! before seeing it, i'd thought that you'd put up one of your photomanips, but this is just as well. it really does look amazing, and the scene is painted vividly in our heads. i can't say more... hell, if it was on dA, i'd fav it right now! divine job, missy... stick to it, and i hope all goes well. that's all i wanted to say :)

I absolutely love the story. But! I'm a little confused as the mapmaker's scene. It's still at the begining of the story, and now here.

Anyways. Love it! A lot. Can't wait for the rest of the chapters.

Absolutely lovely story. I love how the characters all have a certain depth to them, and how Crash's identity is still so mysterious. I think I know what he is by now...in fact, I guessed it in the very beginning, mostly because I was hoping he'd be something more than just a plain human. We've met the Wolfies, Humans, Catlins...but we're missing one more race ;) And now that I think about it, I think that race is one of the most intriguing ones there is. I'll keep my hopes up and see what's going ot happen in the future ;)

I do quite love Sora...even though she can be a little...airheady in the beginning x) I don't know...she just sounded so clueless! I'm glad everything turned out all right, and I'm especially pleased that she found her mother. Crash is so mysterious...but oh-so-wonderful. I was kind of depressed when Dorian was killed actually. I may sound a little...cold...but I'd rather Burn die than Dorian. I just feel more connected with the Wolfy mage than the mercenary. But oh well...Crash and Burn make such a lovely traveling group. By the way, I love how their names go together ;)

Oh and just one question. Since you're publishing this book, are you still going to post up the chapters on fictionpress? :)

Wonderful story and I can't wait to read another chapter!

Wow...that towel scene...gotta be awkward! And it was a very sweet ending to the chapter.

For some unknown reason I didn't get an alert for the story, so it put me off reviewing for a while. Anyway...nothing major, as per usual, but your chapter seems to be really hard to criticise this time. So I'm going to be mean.

In your first paragraph, you said Sora woke up with a stiff neck and legs, so probably you might want to describe her movement...well, saying how she might have difficulties.

...'Finally, she'd be able to eat something different than berries and rabbits.'...You'll want to fix this sentence up. I think you mean different 'from'. But I'd personally say 'apart from'.

...'It was plain to see that no one had used the beds, and the room was empty; late evening light shown through the window to her right.'...While there's nothing seriously wrong with this sentence, I think it's better if you mention the light first, and then say what she can/can't see.

...'She started over.'...Readers will know what you mean, but you might want to refine this part. For slower people like me, well, it might take them a while to work out what you mean.

...'With the utmost caution, Sora twisted one of the levers and leapt back in surprise as water poured out of the spout.'...I think you should find a word stronger than 'poured'. I can only think of 'rushed' but you can most probably do much better than that.

...'The two stared at one another, Sora not sure how to react, and apparently the assassin was frozen in place.'...It doesn't appear to have real flaws, but this sentence feels like it needs fixing. If you feel it doesn't, throw a rotten tomato in this direction.

...'Abruptly she wished she had more shelter than her towel and twenty feet of floor space.'...I'm not really sure about the use of 'abruptly', and also, I don't think 'shelter' is the right word when you're referring to twenty feet of floor space.

...'He stared at her for a long time, then turned to the window. "No, I'm just fine," he said quietly, though his pitch had dropped another notch. Crash shut the window anyway.'...What happened to 'new paragraph with new speaker'?

...'Quickly she shut off the water before the tub overflowed and let the towel drop to the ground.'...Shut off? 'Turn off'? And also, if the water level was so high, when she climbed in, it would have spilt a little. That's insignificant, but anyway...

...'She could feel the cold, hard stone through the seat of her pants and knew that she couldn't stay in this place forever - yet she could not make herself rise. And she certainly couldn't return to the hotel; Crash was bound to show up there sooner or later, and how could she look him in the face? Maybe I'll just sleep here, she thought, and then talk to Burn about it in the morning. She had slept in worse places before.

Suddenly a shadow fell over her. Sora tensed, pressing her forehead harder against her knees; maybe it was just a passerby. She hadn't heard any footsteps.'...You need to fix up the paragraphing - I don't think you left two lines in between the paragraphs when you wrote the chapter. Err...sorry about the big slab but I can't be bothered to pick out the exact lines.

Okay, that's all I have for now. Nice chapter :] I'm glad how you haven't made the Sora/Crash scene too rushed, if you know what I mean.

Wow, so many more chapters? I'll be looking forward to the next, and HOPEFULLY I'll actually get the alert.

Yo! Wicked awesome cover design, I must say...

Yay! We finally are getting to see real signs of affection, instead of just serious stares. Though those are always fun.

The fight was great. Poor Crash. He got mad. And was an ass. But then he made it all better.

One thing though, Crash really hasn't done much assassinating. He's done melee fighting and all that good stuff, but we haven't really seen him murder someone in cold blood, other than the beginning. And now that is beginning to fade from our memories. Are we ever going to see that particular side of Crash again? That would distance him from Sora and perhaps make her distrust him, even after his assurance this chapter. Yay? Nay? Just wanting to see the badass Crash once again. :)

Anyhoo, great chapter. Loved it. Laina and Burn are quite the pair no? What's all that between them? Are we ever going to see them "together"? Or is there some other secret lurking somewhere?

Anyhood again, love Crash. Seriously jealous of Sora there...

~GryphonFledglingOfSilverWings