Reviews for Masks
SwordoftheKing chapter 1 . 7/24/2006
Hmm- quite the interesting sentiment portrayed here, though not an entirely foreign one. Is well done, with a good tone to it, but I figured I should point out "Drag up the past if it seves your interest," 'seves' should probably be 'serves'.
Nemonus chapter 1 . 7/24/2006
Ooh, cool. You squish a lot of themes in there and make it work, and the rhythm is unique & fun...good! Your switching pronouns ("Bury it if it suits you. Live a lie./Do what you want as long as I'm safe.") sounds like it's the same person, but they've switched out of the emotion, finally writing UNDER the mask in those last few sentances...nice.
RedBerries chapter 1 . 7/20/2006
Definitely not as strong as the other poem you posted today, but it's good nonetheless. I liked what you were trying to portray, but I think the rhetorical questions were a bit heavy at the beginning...I was going to suggest spacing them out in the poem, but to be honest, I'm not sure if that would work either.

I didn't mention this in my other review, but I did notice - these are sonnets are they not? Or am I just taking advantage of the fourteen lines? Howver, I always thought that sonnets had to be written in iambic pentameter? Or is the just Shakesperian sonnests? Gah, I don't know.

'Blame the world or blame yourself?How should you present yourself?' I think you lost some of the emphasis on these lines, because of the repeated use of 'yourself'.