|Reviews for Tsubasa Reverse|
| anti-climax chapter 5 . 9/6/2006
what happened to Godhand? o.o hm, feeling slightly lost here; would you recommend reading any of your other stories before reading this one? Because while your story and descriptive writing is excellent, I feel as if there are some background issues which I feel unfamiliar with...like races, kingdoms, characters...perhaps I should read the Demon King first to get a better understanding of this world you're writing about. )
doth, thou, hast...lol, somehow I never liked old english very much. But good work! Hope you update soon.
| Lccorp2 chapter 5 . 9/6/2006
T'alnoth of the Gold Flight:
*Very, very carefully watches your characterization of the antagonist*
Hmm. Robbing poor peasant folk...sounding arrogant...I'll have to watch this guy a little closer...
-Why should Nive trust these people he's already met, especially when they seem to be speaking in riddles and circumventing the truth, and who seem to know far too much about him? Why should he travel with them? At least, I'd expect him to put some distance between them or shake them down hard for information, at worst, attempt to kill them...
Oh well. It takes all sorts to make a world...
| xhielle chapter 5 . 9/6/2006
hello kuya yuki...waai...may 5 na wahehehhe...iniintay ku tu kada linggo...excited akung mabasa at matapos tung story mu...kuya more stories pa...hehehehhe...
ninakaw kuna lahat ng stories mo...nakaprint na wahahhahahah...
| Noihseret chapter 5 . 9/5/2006
wow... another aweosme chapter! the plot line is so interesting! I love it
I like Fanella so far... she makes a good elf
write on, Diamond-Dust!
| JJSLAM2129 chapter 5 . 9/5/2006
I'm already starting to like Fanella. She's very witty. The only thing I have against her is...well, I dunno, I guess I have a problem with elves in general. Yes, I realize I may be recieving death glares for that statement now, but that's my opinion. At least nowadays in fantasy writing, they always talk about nature (and use metaphors with nature in them), always know everything about everyone/ their purpose (and rarely, if not at all, misread), and are always the fairest, wisest and most respected of the creatures. It's something about their perfectness (and the way some authors point that out every five minutes) that pesters me!...*sigh* well, okay, that was my rant. Sorry about that!
Well, not much in the way of criticism I can point out. I smell a battle scene/comic relief/chase scene. Then again, I know better than to anticipate. I'll just have to wait and see. To give you more incentive to update, here's a cyber cookie! - ( :: ) Update soon!
P.S.: If you need to talk about the beta-ing, I'm just an email/IM away!
P.S.S.: I'm on the list! I'm on the special thanks list! Wow, even such a small gesture give me a sense of elation. Thank you.
P.S.S.S.: I dunno where the time went! I ahven't update in forever it seems, but as you can tell, I am alive, so to speak. Otherwise I wouldn't be reviewing. Well, I would do that living or dead. Trust me, I'd find some way.
| Adaku chapter 4 . 9/5/2006
This is awesome story, great work. Sorry all I can write is praises.
| Raptora chapter 1 . 9/4/2006
Hmm...well, I never read The Devil King, but hopefully that won't be necessary, because this looks interesting. I'll review as I go...
"It should have been suffocating, but it was not."-Perhaps just me, but perhaps there should be some more detail on why it wasn't suffocating? It's nice that it wasn't suffocating, but why isn't it?
"—thousands upon thousands, hundreds of thousands[, of] soldiers in mail and sword and spear, thousands of archers both on mounts and on foot, knights clad in shining plate and holding their standard on their shields and banners, warhorses in grim armor as their masters, pikemen, riders, sellswords and all sorts of fighting men were assembled, marching with steady cadence to the low rumble of drums and trumpets."-Up there between 'thousands' and 'of,' there shouldn't be a comma if you're saying there were 'hundreds upon thousands of soldies.' Also, I'd advise splitting this sentence up a bit, even if only by semicolons-it's a good description, but it's very long.
"Ready your weapons!” [shouted the clear, strong note] of the wall commander on the East Gate."-Sorry if I'm nitpicking, but if he's shouting a 'clear, strong note', shouldn't his voice have that description? In this context, you're saying the clear, strong note is shouting 'Ready your weapons!'
A good interaction between the Knight Commander and Kera. I like it, particularily The KC's words to her about fear.
I really enjoyed your desciption of the East Gate Atrium as well. Good job.
“Then how do you know these things?”
“Because… because I was here when it happened.”-Hmm...now this is intriguing.
"...Knight Commander did not [move she] muttered a curse and galloped to the formation..."-There should be a coma between 'move' and 'she.'
Wow. A VERY good ending. I got goosebumps from it-you worded everything perfectly. Excellent job, and a good way to end the chapter. I look forward to reading the rest!
| Yume Pink chapter 4 . 8/25/2006
I like this so far. My favorite chapter so far was the second one and the idea of the Godhand. It was really gripping. The writing's nicely done, and there's plenty of description to help us visualize what's going on. The explication paragraphs in Amitel's POV this chapter sound a little bit too high-handed to me. It's not ridiculously so (after all, she is a princess), it just seems slightly off for her character. But the story is young, and she's just been introduced, so I may be proved wrong. :D I think I liked Aoikaze's POV in this chapter the best. It had a very realistic character portrayal and fitting description to back it up. Nice job so far. Keep it up. _
| incandescente chapter 4 . 8/24/2006
'flawlessly slid'.. slide the coins where?
why would Aoi be demoted for a 'job well done'? why does he hate mothers?
overall, i tried to be objective. i think that the flow of the story is quite good - the transit of one point of view to another is fluid.
however, i do think that there are a couple of very long sentences lying around in the story. perhaps you could shorten them or something, as it would definately make for easier reading. :)
there's a lot of voices clamoring to be heard in this story, and it made me a little confused. but, i do believe i'd get used to it soon. heh.
this chapter made me realized that hey, its got elements of an epic and all. i'd be watching this story, so do continue writing!
| Justin J chapter 1 . 8/22/2006
Interesting. Very, very interesting. I like this so far. It's well written, you describe everything very well. I like this. This is going on my favourites list for sure _
- Insanity Lord.
| anti-climax chapter 2 . 8/22/2006
ok, that was a shocker: Godhand being a woman, but it's all good...
somehow, i am beginning to find the title somewhat inappropriate; perhaps you could explain to me why is it named 'Tsubasa Reverse' to me-because Tsubasa Reverse sounds so...anime-ish and this seems far too serious to be an anime-esque story...
but your writing as always: excellent stuff! update ASAP!
| anti-climax chapter 1 . 8/21/2006
after just reading the first chapter, I have to say this...
brilliant stuff! fascinating, engrossing and possibly highly addictive...
I'll review the rest soon as soon as I have time but again: keep up the good work!
| Now-Closed chapter 4 . 8/20/2006
D Ami rocks! I like her a lot.
| arrgh chapter 1 . 8/19/2006
this is great i hope for an update soon
| JJSLAM2129 chapter 4 . 8/19/2006
Gosh, why do you have to make me repeat myself every time I review? Or do you just enjoy me saying "Great job, now update damn it!"? There's nothing I can really find wrong with this, but it does seem out of place that a princess would be a patron at a bar (disguised or not), especially unaccompanied. That's got 'murder waiting to happen' written all over it.
Oh, goodie! Another German word for me to translate. Let's see...Gatterburg. Gatter-gate. Burg-city. Gate City! Appropriate name if it's a border city. I feel like a walking German dictionary. If you need me to make up a weird German word, just ask!
Herm, the name Aoikaze doesn't seem to really fit with all the other French/ German/ British names. It certainly sticks out, tho'. This might have been because you were tired of writing the full name, but you switched between calling him Aoikaze and Aoi. Minor thing. No big deal.
Oh, please don't make him kill a child! Fanella is just a kid! Oh, I just can't wait for the next chapter! Hurry and update damn it!
Because this was a totally awesome chapter, and you kindly reviewed my story, you deserve this cyber cookie! - ( :: )