Reviews for further south
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 11/9/2006
Whoa, nice run-on sentence! I love the idea of a blue corduroy heart, because it's a really strong visual that I can see and feel (I love corduroy *purrs*). Nice language throughout this, and the form really makes the flow work better, if that makes sense. Keep writing! :)
Aquafied chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
it is words that crescendo and dear, i cant spell anymore

damn italian
Silence the Storm chapter 1 . 7/31/2006
Excellent, excellent work...'Your blue corduroy heart', that's superb imagery right there. This poem has a lovely smooth feel to it. The brilliantly placed breaks give it an uneven, unique rhythm. Marvelous poem from beginning to end.
classic violet chapter 1 . 7/25/2006
the format of this, the words, the vividness, the colour: amazing!

this poem is just so incredibley well done. god, i just love it!

keep writing.

- violet.
emeraude-irlandais chapter 1 . 7/25/2006
What is with these line breaks? The phrasing you use is beautiful, with "angel catastrophe" and "circular expression" swimming around, but I was incredibly turned off by the staccato feel. ~bella~
Halcyon Impulsion chapter 1 . 7/24/2006
Very smooth, great language. Abstract yet clearly specific. Takes you to another place, if you let it.