|Reviews for méthodes superficielles|
| kookoos chapter 4 . 1/21/2011
this is confusing ! but still pretty good
why is the guy named trash thou ?
| pangur chapter 8 . 7/5/2008
I actually really, really enjoy this entire story. You write well, and though I'm not usually one for science fiction, I like the 'world' you've made. Also, the characters are mean and refreshing, which is great.
| Genica Pussywillow chapter 8 . 4/12/2008
This story is so addictive o.o
I decided to wait 'till I'd read the whole thing before reviewing.
I really didn't expect that to happen! Tbh, I thought Keir was gonna fuck his roommate (I don't know why).
...erm, please update?
| Silania chapter 8 . 9/21/2007
I love this.
| Vigniti Tres chapter 6 . 11/12/2006
"strangely enough, it’s the only kind of sex I can write without cringing through the whole scene."
I know how this feels.
Like, I have these two characters, and they genuinely have a load of feelings for eachother, but the only scene between them that I've written is when their smashing drunk so it's not about that, just about getting off and shit.
And my favorite two characters of mine which are the only ones that I've posted anything on Fiction Press about are completely only fuck buddies. And I like writing them the most.
I think it's because I kind of have an abhorrance towards when people write the first sex scene between two characters and have them admit their undying love to eachother, etc, etc.
I love this so far. I paticularly like Keir, his personality in all. I'm warming up to Trash as well.
I had a lot more typed up but my internet got screwed up and destroyed my BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING review. But yeah. Basically, this is a lot more complex piece than most Sci-Fi/Fantasy stuff, and I love that. Esepcially since I usually have a resistance to Fantasy and Sci-Fi and you've made it enjoyable again
| Kerin chapter 6 . 8/27/2006
Well, a few things off the bat first. Do note that the first couple chapters aren't quite what you'd call fresh in my mind, so I may have the details a bit fuzzy. Do bear with me, though, if you would be so kind.
- Personally, I wasn't at all confused by the whole amitéreu thing. It was sort of touching, in an odd way, to see Keir showing us a bit more of his desperation, of how far he's sunk. I get the feeling that, at least on some level, Keir's really fucking hurting because he's not entirely someone he likes (you know what I mean.)
At the same time, he can't help but feel a little warmth from the sort of backhanded compliments Trash gives him. So, while he's revulsed that he likes the tiny scraps of happiness that he can get, he has to deal with the fact that he really lives for feeling that way.
God, that was a complicated sentence. I'm so very sorry.
Second, yeah. Trash's house. I've been visualizing it something like Tarah from Gone With the Wind, which is probably completely inaccurate. But for some reason, Trash just fits in a gigantic, palatial house with balconies and such. I'm not quite sure how he'd pay for such things, but for some reason it's easy to imagine that Trash has piles of aztec gold hidden somewhere.
I've just skimmed the first three chapters and haven't seen the house described (unless I totally missed something.) So perhaps my imagination was not too skewed in its depiction of his home!
And about writing sex: Yeah, I hear you there. I don't think I've ever written a sex scene that lasted through even a cursory editing; It always feels incredibly insipid to me, and I have to remove it so that nobody knows what a terrible writer I am.
So, onto chapter six. One second while I read it.
My first thought is that yeah, this could do with editing. But then, I'm pretty sure you'll get around to it sooner or later, so I shan't quibble about that. I would observe, however, that the science-fiction elements are suddenly - BAM - all over the place. There weren't really many of them all the way up to chapter five, and the transition is somewhat jarring. This isn't really the chapter's fault; Personally, what I'd do in your place would be to add a little bit of technological hocus-pocus earlier in the story, but that may not be an option for you. No worries, then; It's not a storybreaker.
Overall, I quite liked this installment. I suspect I shall like it even more post-editing.
Coincidentally, if you'd like someone to proofread, I'd be quite willing to do so.
Keep writing or I will be most upset.
| diebyownhands chapter 6 . 8/23/2006
the evilness of an unfinished story that has you trap for a few hours in front of a computer!
Great story, at some points I was a bit lost but soon figured out what was going on. I don't like how Trash treat Keir.
Please don't take too long to update!
| foxdance chapter 2 . 8/22/2006
As requested, the magical copy-paste review:
I enjoyed your writing style (and I don't say this very often). A good many people can write with decent grammar, but few can actually engage the reader. I also salute you for taking on a strict alternate 1st person POV, because at some point in the plot, you're gonna have hell keeping that system. My only comment is that Kier's narration gives me very feminine vibes. I feel like I'm reading from a woman's perspective (yes, including the trash talk). While I have no problems with flowery boys, err, men, I'm not sure that's the effect you're going for.
| Amarillo Girl chapter 6 . 8/22/2006
Interesting - very interesting. I love the way you do your last lines. They care and they hurt, but they're so hard to explain but it's raw and overwhelming. I do have a few things to point out: 1. The "military"like scenes are very tense, and sometimes don't work well, perhaps you could try a little research first?2. Your descriptions are often a little reptetive, whether by accident or design.
Anyhow, this *was* extremely well written, and I think you have a lot of potential as a writer, maybe even a few tilts on the macabre/horror side of things. Your sex scenes aren't nearly as bad as you think they are, especially for someone so young. And, honey, "Ignore the parts that suck"? There aren't many. Don't be so hard on yourself. :)
I will be waiting for more chapters. :)
| Bravestarr chapter 6 . 8/22/2006
Good story. Lots of emoions, depths, and dimensions. My one beef is that the word "fuck" gets used an awful lot. I don't have a problem with language, just don't use the worst word of words so often. It takes away its shock and awe.
| mich mich chapter 6 . 8/22/2006
Trash is a jealous bastard, but I love him so much. He reminds me of someone I know, but not sure who yet.
Don't worry about not giving enough information. Sometimes, information has to be given later on. Or, you could just hide it like you did with Keir's point of view.
Shannon. Heheheh. Shannon. It amused me to no end that Trash wound up with the blonde boy. He sounds so pretty; can I have him if I give you David? I'm sure you wouldn't mind the whole trading business; or would you?
Tobias. Is he gay? I think he is. Is he? He is, isn't he? :o no, seriously, is he? Or is he just blushing because Shannon is just so pretty? Mm...Shannon. -drool-
Thank you for reviewing to my story. It was greatly appreciated. Also, I really loved this last part:'Just shut up. I’m sorry, all right?
I’m fucking sorry.
It was so truthful. Is Trash afraid of falling in love? Did he like someone, that got hurt? Or worse, died?
I want to know more! Write right now! lol
| Kerin chapter 5 . 8/11/2006
I suppose the easiest thing to say is that this is rather brutally well-written.
It's really rather not my cup of tea, as neither BDSM nor abusive relationships are my thing. But Keir's simple, blunt manner charmed me, plain and simple.
I don't often see anything so well done on fictionpress, so it was a pleasant surprise, even though descriptive sex scenes aren't something I generally prefer to read. All in all, bravo for managing to overcome my personal taste with a character I can't help but enjoy.
| miss understanding chapter 5 . 8/10/2006
_ Aie! Long time no review! Well, I am here now so 'ello.
"The bigger, the better, but the rule was you couldn't give anything bigger than you were." I really like this line. It just seems to say so much without saying anything at all, ya know? In fact, it sort of contrasts against the "depths of your soul" because the rule about the object seems to indicate that people shouldn't be represented solely by material possesions and that if they are being "divined" then that particular object should be a symbol of their soul.
I like Keir's little reasoning on the earring and the fortune teller trying to swim away. He seems a little paranoid, but from a background of destitution, I find it only natural that he would be wary of other people handling his things.
"I wasn't fucking nobody else at the moment." So eloquent. P I like how Keir is able to swear without sounding crude or like an idiot, like so many other foul-mouthed characters. He sounds ignorant and maybe a bit low-brow, but you represent him quite nicely - especially from the first person. In your review response you said that you were thinking about putting this in the third-person. I'm glad you didn't, else I would have missed Keir's delightful little narrative too.
XD "Fuck" "Are you a rentboy?" Talk about unfortunate! Poor Keir. I laughed pretty hard when I read this. Mostly because it sounds like something I, being an extremely compulsive person with an equally compulsive mouth, would say.
Trash is going to leave Keir? O_o So their relationship is bad, but won't that really destroy him? I mean Keir doesn't have much does he? From what you've written so far, I'm guessing that he doesn't really have much else. You haven't really described his home (if he has one?) since mostly he's been with Trash. Are they in an army station? In the first chapter it was almost as if Trash was in a military dormitory or something and Keir was bunking with him.
"Looking for someone in particular?" what a pick-up line. XD
He was going to laugh? "Dusty lavender eyes" what a pretty description. I wish I knew someone with dusty lavender eyes. Sounds like a really pretty color.
I like how Trash just popped up out of nowhere. He seems like the kind of guy who might enjoy sneaking up on someone for the hell of it, just to spook them. He's sociopathic just when it suits him, huh? He's so agressive. I wonder if it's natural or related to his experiences at the military. I understand that showing emotion in the military is frowned upon (if not resulting in beating up).
Why would he be flattered about being called a whore? Do most people not even bother wasting euphenisms on him? I think the lumiverger guy likes him. He sounds cute - and a helluva lot nicer than Trash. *smirk* Maybe the fortune meant that Keir is going to dump Trash and go out with this guy. *wishful thinking*
"I had a few questions about the mission" that's a rather interesting interpretation on what REALLY happened. *laughs remembering what happened to Trash in the previous chapter*
I think that his bad feelings have something to do with his fortune. I hope nothing bad happens to him. (
Another great chapter. I think I've said all that can be said without repeating myself, or launching into another full scale rant, but this was good. I'm looking forward to an update soon. (for a one-shot, this is getting pretty long P)
Kudos! x 12
| mich mich chapter 5 . 8/7/2006
so much going on that I don't know where it's going lol. Wonder who the new guy is. My curiousity, I might say, is extremely piqued. -pokes- better write more
| mich mich chapter 4 . 8/6/2006
another excellent chapter.
Demons? Wow. I guess Trash's "demons" are actually real demons, and not just horrific memories, though that could also be it.