I know you want constructive critism, but I want to say this and nothing else, you basically described what was going to happen, good. Just too dark for my taste.

I LOVE THIS!Your style is sort of simplistic but you punch each line and point you make with beautiful imagery. You force the view of the poetry using words that are normally not so pungent but when partnered are.

Cool. Reminds me of being trapped in a room full of old ladies with bad perfume on. Not that I'm relegating your poem in any way, but the image is certainly strong. But really, what I see is a commentary on fashion. A lot of people wearing something awful because it's popular. And it is invading, all consuming( the mentality at any rate), and it's fucking everywhere. Very nicely done. This is a great poem. And, I guess all we can do to avoid being impaled, is to wear nose-plugs, goggles and ski-masks. :)

This imagery in this poem's awesome. I've found myself in the exact same situation many times.

this poem is so true. I can't stand girls who put on too much perfume. especially in crowded highschool hallways.

~dragonzz~