|Reviews for Element Gems|
| PoetryMagic12 chapter 6 . 11/12/2007
Nice story...Kumiko meeting her long lost brotherthat was touching. I was wondering if yiu can read my stories Please!.My stories are Guardian Hearts, Element Soldier: Legend of the Rainbow and lastly The Legend of the Mysic Knight. I will review hopely when you have the next chapter. Please don't flame my stories...Thanks again
| k i n d h a l o chapter 6 . 1/24/2007
| BananaPandas chapter 6 . 10/22/2006
...Levi died?...how? Plz write more! I hate clif hangers! anyways plz update.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 6 . 10/20/2006
Say what? Levi's dead? That was kinda fast...but there must be a reason for killing him off so early, huh?
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 5 . 9/19/2006
Nice cliffhanger. Real nice. I hope you'll write longer fight scenes and action sequences next time!
| Kari Mezmaru chapter 5 . 9/17/2006
Ooh, what's gonna happen in that dream of hers...? Poor Levi, he doesn't even know he has a sister! Anyway, please update! Oh yeah, and there are a few minor errors; just thought you'd like to know.
| BlueyAbc123 chapter 2 . 9/13/2006
I like it! I actually have a friend named Sayuri, except it's spelled with an i Saiyuri.
| Naomi Chick chapter 3 . 9/7/2006
I like your story it seen interest. I've wonder what going happen? When Sayuri crush on Arli find out he has same gem as her.
| ainedamdz chapter 3 . 9/4/2006
Cliffie, eh? 0.0
Mweh, well, that was too fast...They just met and now they're...? Well, I have to admit i do commit that error oftentimes.. Weheh.
Anyway ,that was a nice read. Pacing of the story's a bit too fast, i think. Okay then. Update soon and good luck!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 3 . 9/4/2006
I like your story. It has a nice premise, and great plot, and a little romance, but unfortunately there are language errors. Maybe you should try spacing out your paragraphs like in Chapter Two. A new dialouge begins in a new paragraph. Your first two chapters lacked this, but it seems worked out in your third. Anyway, I think you mean descendant instead of ancestor, right? It's kinda impossible for Masuyo to be the ancestor 'coz it means that the protector isn't borned yet, and he's supposed to be borned after the guy right? So please don't confuse ancestor with descendant. Anyway, I think Kumiko makes a better couple with Masuyo that Sayuri anyway, but that's my opinion. Till then!
| Salem Jones chapter 2 . 8/7/2006
Nice!A little rushed, but still good... I can't wait to read more :)
| Kari Mezmaru chapter 2 . 8/2/2006
Cool, like the reviewers before me, can you please seperate the text? Anyway, please update!
| Yoichiro Sakamoto chapter 1 . 8/1/2006
This is good so far! I shall contiune to read more of this.
| ainedamdz chapter 2 . 8/1/2006
Hey, nice plot.
It would be a lot easier to read your story if you separate the dialogue with line breaks. Example,
"Hey,Sayuri-san! Are you late too?”
“Yeah but enough talk, come on, we got to hurry!”
Uh.. Do you get that? If ever you need to seperate the scenes, use the horizontal ruler... Also, you could separate the dialogue from the narration.
Well, I hope that'd help a bit. I'll be looking forward to read more of this story!
| Charming Dice chapter 2 . 7/31/2006
I'm not sure if this site messed up the format of your story or not, but your dialogue is really bunched up. When writing dialogue, you should start a new paragraph every time someone new speaks.
An example would be:
"Blah, blah, blah," Blah #1 muttered as he walked away.
"Blah, blah, blah!" screamed Blah #2 angrily.
You may already know that, but I figured I'd say it just in case you didn't.
Another thing is that it's a little hard to get a feel for the settings and characters. It might help if you slowed down a bit and described the areas a bit more.
This chapter had a nice, playful feel that make it a fun read. The interesting ending to the chapter made me wanna read the next one. Good job with that.
I hope I was helpful. Can't wait till the next chapter.