Reviews for Smile |
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![]() ![]() ![]() m... -nods- I like... it's really short though. I like the filth vomiting "you vomit out all the filth that he’s polluted you with." And the smiling through cracked teeth and bloody gums. Because I smile is supposed to be beautiful, and happy, but it's been sullied, and dirited. I like this one, it's good -thumbs up- -~ -Autumn |
![]() ![]() ![]() Vivid and quite descriptive. I like how you continued the tone of the situation throughout the entire work. Format enhances the flow as well. Good work. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow, another brilliant poem, I love your poetry, it is maginificent, excellent work. |
![]() ![]() ![]() ohmygod, i fucking LOVE this. it's raw and screaming and painful and just absolutely amazing. in my opinion, this is one of your best. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Even though the option is available, I feel that any sort of bold/italicizing/etc type of editing, even though it's the most basic, really takes a lot away from a poem. Looking past that, though, I like how you use the parentheses inside parentheses. You pushed it to the line of using them TOO much, but thankfully you didn't and it works. The message and the meaning of the poem are good, and the pseudo encouragement really works well with the subject. I feel you could capitalize the bolded parts and even surround the "begging" with hyphens and it'd work better, but that's just personal taste on my part. Otherwise, good job. (I also like the free-form of the poetry, it works well. I could hear this in a poetry reading, something a depressed Buddy Wakefield would do) |