Oh that was the sweetest thing, I feel like I'm about to melt from all the happy melting gooeyness of your story! Aw... You have so much talent, keep writing!

I really like it... but, erm, what did the last line mean? ;;

I liked this story, especially the way it was narrated. The whole repetition of words, and half sentences makes Rail's nervousness more real, like im experiencing it first hand. If that was the effect you were going for then congrats :) if not...u just made me feel like an adolocent boy!*glares*. lol anyways i like the whole innocence factor and the transition from best friends to that whole awkward liking each other phase. It wasnt rushed and it didnt go agonisingly slow. So all in all i think this is a good story. If its a series then im really looking forward to an update. If its a one-shot then i think you ended it at a cool place, you know letting our little mind work up the endless possibilities...

This is really good! I love the narration.

Update soon!